May 20, 2010

Everybody Draw Mohammed Day!

The Facebook page may be down, but that won't stop us!

Mohammed gets married

Seriously. She was nine. I await my fatwa.


Posted by Chris at 10:05 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

June 29, 2007

We Don't *Know* His Name Was Mohammed; I'm Just Playin' The Odds

Mohammed's shopping/to-do list:

  • Petrol for the lawn mower
  • Propane for the grill
  • Nails to fix the roof
  • Replace piston rings so the Mercedes will stop burning oil
Apparently "detonator to trigger a bomb with which to kill the infidels, inshallah" was something he thought of on the spur of the moment.

Posted by Chris at 08:47 AM | Comments (1)
Category: Splodeydope watch

May 17, 2007

CBS And/Or AP Has Trouble With Math

See if you can figure out how many people were killed in the red-on-red engagement described here. About the only thing we can be sure of is that Fatah scored five own-goals. So was the total tally 5, 7, 11, or 13?

Hamas Militants Kill 6 Fatah Bodyguards

(AP) Hamas gunmen killed five of their own combatants in an ambush Wednesday on a Fatah vehicle that had been carrying Hamas detainees, Fatah officials said.

Also killed were two members of the Fatah-affiliated Preventive Security force that had been guarding the detained Hamas members, the officials said.

Remember, these guys want their own state. But who's counting?


Posted by Chris at 12:56 PM | Comments (3)
Category: Splodeydope watch

May 15, 2007

A Day Late And A Banana Short, But...

OK, I know we bagged Taliban leader Mullah Dadullah last week and I'm just now getting to this, but I have to play the Name Game:

Mullah Mullah Dadullah, banana-fana Fofalluh, me-my-moallah DEADullah!


Posted by Chris at 11:00 AM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

September 15, 2006

The Fact That There's A $5M Reward On His Head Has Nothing To Do With It

It's hard to tell whether no attacks on U.S. soil since 9/11 is a sign that our security services are doing a bang-up job or a sign that AQ et. al don't have anybody in country capable of doing anything. Regardless of what's going on inside the 'black box,' so to speak, the outside-the-box observable outcome is the same: no terrorist attacks on U.S. soil.

So whether or not you believe that this guy is planning to pop a nuke or dirty bomb on the first day of Ramadan (September 24)*, the FBI is REALLY interested in him, so I'm going to jump in with Ace and Rusty and Allah and Dan and Gateway Pundit and put his picture up for my dozen readers to see (yes, I think I actually have a dozen readers now!):

Adnan G. El Shukrijumah

Photograph of Adnan G. El Shukrijumah Photograph of Adnan G. El Shukrijumah Photograph of Adnan G. El Shukrijumah Photograph of Adnan G. El Shukrijumah Photograph of Adnan G. El Shukrijumah

According to the FBI page, he's 5'3" - 5"6, 132 pounds, with an average build. Also:

El Shukrijumah occasionally wears a beard. He has a pronounced nose and is asthmatic. El Shukrijumah speaks English and carries a Guyanese passport, but may attempt to enter the United States with a Saudi, Canadian, or Trinidadian passport.

As Ace puts it:

I read Freakonomics (finally) on the bus ride back, and if there's one big take-away from the book, it's the power of asymetical information to be used corruptly, and the dissemination of information via the Internet to destroy the asymetrical advantage and reduce corruption or criminality.

This guy has a big asymetrical informational advantage-- not many people know what he looks like. Let's change that.

Why do I suddenly feel like I've stepped on the set of America's Most Wanted?

(*) I was explaining this to a friend, and he asked what Ramadan was. I gave him the quick, dirty, misleading, and probably offensive analogy that it was kind of like a Muslim Lent. Except that I'm not looking to kill anybody until at least halfway through, when whatever I gave up starts to itch at me, and when I say "I'd kill somebody for a Mountain Dew right now," this isn't what I meant.


Posted by Chris at 08:07 AM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

August 23, 2006

The Revolutionary Council Has Decided To Descope The Apocalypse

OK, so maybe yesterday wasn't the apocalypse like I was worried about.

Although some Romanian oil platform workers may disagree with me:

A Romanian oil rig off the coast of Iran came under fire from an Iranian warship and was later occupied by Iranian troops, a company spokesman said.

The Iranians first fired into the air and then fired at the Orizont rig, said GSP spokesman Radu Petrescu. Half an hour later, troops from the ship boarded and occupied the rig and the company lost contact with the 26 crew members shortly afterward.

Posted by Chris at 08:52 AM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

August 22, 2006

Once You're Al-Qaeda, You're Al-Qaeda All The Way / From Your First Decapitation 'Till Your Martyrdom Day

The first thing that came to mind about the 'flying while brown' passenger revolt last weekend:

Passengers noticed that, despite the heat, the pair were wearing leather jackets and thick jumpers and were regularly checking their watches.
If you're wearing a heavy sweatshirt and leather jacket on a flight out of the Costa del Sol in August, you're either trying to hide something under your coat or fixin' for a rumble. And in neither case do I want you on my plane, no matter what color you are.

Posted by Chris at 04:15 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

So How Do You Say 'Armageddon' In Farsi, Anyway?

Just sittin' here in the bunker with my fingers crossed, hoping Ahmadinnerjacket doesn't have anything apocalyptic planned for today...

Posted by Chris at 07:57 AM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

June 30, 2006

Although I Guess It Does Give Them The Freedom To Riot And Demand Beheadings

Fundamentalist Islamic society has a completely different operating definition of 'freedom' than Western society does, and I think it can be summed up as 'freedom from' as opposed to 'freedom to.' I came to this conclusion after hearing the umpteenth Muslim woman say that wearing the veil/hijab/burkha was liberating because it gave them the ability to go out in public without unwanted male attention. I don't think it's too much of a stretch to say that Islam frees its practitioners from having to make a lot of decisions in general, given the large number of specifically prescribed/forbidden actions in the Koran and ahadith.

In fact, their interpretation of 'freedom' is so different from mine that it bothers me they use the same word. I think I'll go riot and demand some beheadings.

Posted by Chris at 11:16 AM | Comments (2)
Category: Splodeydope watch

March 24, 2006

On The Other Hand, Islam Doesn't Have E-Meters

If you follow the fight against Islamofascism at all, you've undoubtedly heard of the case of Abdul Rahman, currently facing what could be the death penalty in Afghanistan for the 'crime' of converting from Islam to Christianity. Well, it just now occurred to me - if you try to leave Scientology, all they try to kill is your reputation (usually)!

Posted by Chris at 04:52 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

February 17, 2006

Still Doing My Part, At Least As Long As Denmark Keeps Making Beer

Well, the Islamists are still acting like morons, so I'm still buycotting. Last Friday, it was Carlsberg; I think tonight it'll be Tuborg (also made by Carlsberg).

Posted by Chris at 03:26 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

January 30, 2006

Can I Please Be Added To Your Fatwa?

Because I don't see the problem with these cartoons published last September in Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten:

Cartoons about Muhammad published in Jyllands-Posten last September

Of course, we're seeing the distinct lack of a sense of humor among the splodeydopes:

The Muslim world's two main political bodies say they are seeking a UN resolution, backed by possible sanctions, to protect religions after the publication in Scandinavia of cartoons depicting the prophet Muhammad.

Ekmeleddin Ihsanoglu, secretary-general of Organisation of the Islamic Conference, said in Cairo on Sunday that the international body would "ask the UN general assembly to pass a resolution banning attacks on religious beliefs".

The deputy secretary-general of the Arab League, Ahmed Ben Helli, confirmed that contacts were under way for such a proposal to be made to the UN.

"Consultations are currently taking place at the highest level between Arab countries and the OIC to ask the UN to adopt a binding resolution banning contempt of religious beliefs and providing for sanctions to be imposed on contravening countries or institutions," he said.

I have to admit, though, I'm interested in seeing Ambassador Bolton turning his mustache loose on the proposal.

Update: For the convienience of the Islamofascists, Michelle Malkin has invited us small fry to trackback to one of her posts about the cartoons. She has posted several times about them; I especially like this one.

Posted by Chris at 04:47 PM | Comments (3)
Category: Splodeydope watch

December 23, 2005

The Dhimmi Is On The Other Prayer Rug, Or Something

Two thoughts came to mind when I first heard about this:

U.S. officials have secretly monitored radiation levels at Muslim sites, including mosques and private homes, since September 11, 2001 as part of a top secret program searching for nuclear bombs, U.S. News and World Report said on Friday.

The news magazine said in its online edition that the far-reaching program covered more than a hundred sites in the Washington, D.C., area and at least five other cities.

  1. Good!
  2. Who leaked this and when does their trial start?

Of course, not everyone reacted this way. An unnamed spokesman for the Council for Blowing Smoke Up The Infidels' Asses American-Islamic Relations had this to say:

"All Americans should be concerned about the apparent trend toward a two-tiered system of justice, with full rights for most citizens, and another diminished set of rights for Muslims," it said in a statement.

That's more than a little ironic. Switch "most citizens" and "Muslims" in that sentence, and you get the current state of affairs in EVERY Muslim country.

Posted by Chris at 04:40 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

July 29, 2005

Smash Your Car, Collect Your 72 Raisins! Offer Also Good For Human Torch!

In the course of looking up the most undignified way to do away with Abu Hook-za, I learned something interesting about Islam: according to Ask The Imam, Muslims who die in accidents - if they're the right kind of accidents - are considered shaheed (martyrs) and can drive in the express lane to Heaven!

Category 1: Sudden Impacts:

My sister passed away in a terrible car accident. What happens to Muslims who die in such accidents?

We are very sad to hear of the sudden death of your sister. May Allah Ta’ala grant you Sabr and reward your sister abundantly. She is indeed fortunate as she is a Shaheed. Among those enumerated as Shuhadaa, Rasulullah [Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam] enumerated a Saahib-e-hadm (a person who dies in an impact). Accidents are also included in this category.

Category 2: Burnt. To. Death.

Will my friend go to heaven? died [sic] in a car accident. The accident was really bad that he burned to death in the accident. My friend wasn't that good of a Muslim

. . .

Apparently, your friend may have passed away as a sinner, but Allah awarded him with the exalted position of martyrdom. Jaabir [radhiallaahu anhum] is reported that Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] mentioned, ‘Besides the one who has passed away in the path of Allah, there are seven other people who are regarded as martyrs from these seven.’ Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] is reported that the one burnt to death is also a martyre.’ (Abu Dawud)

I especially like the tone of the second one. It's like the imam thought "Naaaaah, doubt it, but I better check anyway... [flip flip flip] Huh. How about that?"

Posted by Chris at 04:47 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

Letting 'Em Off The Leash

I haven't paying real real close attention, so this half-assed analysis is probably holey-er than Swiss cheese, but here's what I've seen:

  1. Islamofascists bomb London.
  2. Several low-level arrests quickly made.
  3. Terrorists try again, much more feebly.
  4. Many more arrests, including a large op going on even as I write this.

What I think happened:

The authorities had many suspects under surveillance prior to 7/7, but couldn't move on them due to PC/multi-culti/sensitivity/other pussified restrictions. After 7/7, quick policy change to "It's awwwwwwwn!"; broad terrorist hunting licenses issued. Many low-level guys (and I think a couple of mid-levelers) pulled in. Terrorists panic, move up timetable for follow-up attacks. Lots of loose shit ensues; attacks fizzle. Second wave of arrests, probably driven by info gotten from the first wave of arrestees (and I'm guessing that there were interrogation methods in use that Amnesty International would have frowned upon).

I would love for this story to end with Abu Hook-za hanged naked from a rope coated in bacon grease, left swinging (alone) for three days, and buried, unwashed, face down with his feet pointing towards Mecca.

Posted by Chris at 08:16 AM | Comments (1)
Category: Splodeydope watch

May 05, 2005

Next Time, Get Tear Gas-Proof Makeup, Fool

AQ #3 busted in Pakistan:

Pakistan has shared with the United States initial results of its interrogation of reputed al-Qaida No. 3 Abu Farraj al-Libbi, who stayed silent for hours after his capture this week before confessing his identity, an intelligence official said Thursday.

Hey, I thought KSM was the #3 guy. Oh, wait, now I see - it's like the AP rankings: if you lose (get busted), somebody else takes your spot. Anyway, what's with his face?

Did his mascara run or something? And look at his eyes - those are some seriously dead eyes.

H/T INDCBill (as if he needs it). Furthermore, Arthur Cherenkoff has a photo essay demonstrating just how bad pissing off the U.S. can be for your health.

Posted by Chris at 04:11 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

February 25, 2005

The Safety Of Our Nation Depends On Their Satisfaction With Their Next Fast Food Experience

You're pissed off with the service you got at McDonald's, so you threaten to blow up the Pentagon. Makes perfect sense to me. From (have I mentioned lately that I love

HOUSTON -- A statewide alert remained in effect in Texas Friday for two men accused of threatening to blow up the Pentagon, KPRC-TV in Houston reported.

Wharton authorities and officials with the FBI and the Texas Department of Public Safety said a man in his 50s and a man in his 20s were apparently upset with the food and service at a McDonald's restaurant in Wharton, Texas, at about 2 p.m. Thursday when they made the alleged threats.

The manager notified Wharton police about the threats, which prompted authorities to issue the statewide alert.

"Two gentlemen made threats toward blowing up McDonald's and also blowing up the Pentagon. By the time officials arrived, the men had already fled the scene. We immediately contacted the FBI, who is conducting the investigation at this point," Wharton Police Department Capt. Richard Coleman said.

And the punch line?

The FBI said the men were of Middle Eastern descent.

Posted by Chris at 03:01 PM | Comments (1)
Category: Splodeydope watch

October 22, 2004

I Guess She's Not Quite Useful Enough. Or Maybe She's Just Not An Idiot.

Useful Idiot John Martinkus, apologist for the splodeydopes:

John Martinkus was seized in Baghdad last Saturday and held for about 24 hours before being freed. The 35-year-old reporter was released after his captors looked up his name on the Internet and accepted that he was a freelance journalist rather than someone working for the US-led coalition. He sparked outrage among government officials and former hostages when he said his captors would not kill people indiscriminately.

"These guys, they're not stupid. They are fighting a war but they're not savages. They're not actually killing people willy-nilly. There was no reason for them to kill me," Martinkus told reporters on his arrival at Sydney airport on Tuesday.

"There was a reason to kill [British hostage Kenneth] Bigley, there was a reason to kill the [two] Americans. There was not a reason to kill me," he added.
I wonder what his take is on whether they have a reason to kill kidnapped British aid worker Margaret Hassan:
[Hassan] begged Britain on Friday to help save her by withdrawing its troops, saying these ''might be my last hours.''

The gaunt woman's wrenching televised statement delivered in between sobs puts new political pressure on Prime Minister Tony Blair's government, a day after it agreed to a U.S. request to transfer 850 British soldiers from southern Iraq to the Baghdad area to free American forces for new offensives against insurgents.
I'm guessing it would be something along the lines of "she's just a shill for the occupation."

Except that she isn't:

Hassan is believed to be in her early 60s and has done aid work in Iraq for nearly 30 years. She joined CARE soon after it began operations in Iraq in 1991, managing a staff of 60 Iraqis who run nutrition, health and water programs throughout the country.

She was a vocal opponent of international sanctions on Iraq and warned British lawmakers before last year's U.S.-led invasion that a conflict could produce a humanitarian crisis in a country already severely weakened by the embargoes.

The more cynical side of me thinks the average Australian wouldn't give a dingo's ass if the splodeydopes offed a moonbat like Martinkus, so they didn't see any point in killing him...

Posted by Chris at 06:12 PM | Comments (2)
Category: Splodeydope watch

October 05, 2004

So How Do You Say "The Shoe's On The Other Foot" in Arabic, Anyway?

I file this one under "Pali Pity Party:"

Palestinians furious at 'lukewarm' world reaction to Gaza raid 05/10/2004 - 07:40:43

Palestinians are furious over what they see as the world’s forgiving response to Israel’s unprecedented raid in northern Gaza that has killed dozens.

Israel said the world now understands Palestinian terrorism, but analysts felt Iraq is distracting attention from Gaza.

As the fifth day of the operation ended, at least 68 Palestinians had been killed, including nine on Monday.

Early today, one Palestinian gunman was killed and three wounded in an Israeli air force attack, Palestinians said. Israeli military sources confirmed that armed Palestinians were the target but would not relate to reports that a pilotless drone aircraft fired a missile.

. . .

Israel raids West Bank cities and towns every day, arresting suspects. The two killed in the shoot-out were members of the elite Force 17 security arm. Israel charges that Force 17, Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat’s elite guard, is involved in attacks against Israelis.

. . .

The operation has exacted a heavy price on the Palestinians, leaving a wide swath of destruction in the Jebaliya refugee camp and leaving dozens homeless.

Qureia, speaking before a meeting of the Palestinian Cabinet in the West Bank town of Ramallah, criticised the ”massive destruction” and called for heavy international pressure on Israel.

“This ugly Israeli crime is taking place in full view of the world, and so far, we have not heard a strong word from the world community that can bring an end to this aggression,” he said.
Normally, nobody outside of Israel (and maybe the U.S.) gives a rat's ass when some mental defective splodeydopes himself against a bus full of Jewish civilians; the UN just does whatever cranial-rectal insertion is necessary to blame Israel for getting their people blown up in a 'cycle of violence.' Now, finally, the IDF's targeted killing of terrorists fails to generate the normal worldwide outrage, and PaliTerror, Inc., can't deal with it?

Too. Fucking. Bad.

Update: Geez, forgot the damn punch line again. Maybe the reason the UN isn't wailing about this one is that they don't want to attract attention to the fact that they just got cold-busted acting in concert with the splodeydopes!

Posted by Chris at 09:40 PM | Comments (2)
Category: Splodeydope watch

September 08, 2004

Even If I Could Get Inside Their Heads, I Doubt I'd Survive The Trip

I'll get back to the lighthearted drunken antics of my neighbors and me later, but there's something I just realized about the Beslan massacre. It's the operating theory now that one of the big bombs the terrorists had in the school went off accidentally, taking down the roof and forcing the Russians' hand. So as pandemonium reigned and the hostages broke for safety, most of the terrorists chose to stand their ground and shoot the fleeing children in the back as the Russian troops poured in. A few terrorists fled the school, but 27 were killed there.

That they would rather die than save themselves, as long as they could murder children in the meantime, is a mindset that I absolutely cannot comprehend. We are somehow supposed to understand their plight, to appreciate where they're coming from?

Posted by Chris at 04:46 PM | Comments (2)
Category: Splodeydope watch

August 11, 2004

For My Next Trick, I'll Need A Broken Wind-Up Alarm Clock

It started as something of a lucky break:

A dud cell phone meant to be a detonator for a bombing in the Pakistani port of Karachi led to the recent arrests of al-Qaida suspects.

The Boston Globe, quoting Pakistani police, reports U.S. intelligence officials said the lucky break came when an 18-pound roadside bomb was found after it failed to explode. Police traced its ownership to Musaad Aruchi, thought to be the nephew of a top al-Qaida operative.

His arrest led investigators and their U.S. counterparts to al-Qaida computer operative Muhammad Naeem Noor Khan, who in turn led police to Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani, who then led them to Abu Eisa al-Hindi in London.


For The Want Of A cell phone, a detonator was lost.
For the want of a detonator, an IED was lost.
For the want of an IED, Musaad Aruchi was lost.

Now, let's play Six Degrees Of Sellout:

But indications from across the Atlantic are that one of four men held in Willesden, London, is Abu Eisa al-Hindi or Abu Musa al-Hindi, who uses the code-name Bilal, and is the senior al-Qaeda representative in Britain. One US official described him as "a major player who moved operational information between key components of al-Qaeda".

Who knew you could get so much out of a bum cell phone?

Posted by Chris at 02:56 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

August 09, 2004

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The capture of Mohammad Naeem Noor Khan continues to pay dividends. Last week's arrests in Britain revealed yielded a treasure trove of terrorist plans:

More than 1,000 computer disks holding details of previously unknown terrorist plots on the US were seized during raids by MI5 and police in Britain, according to US intelligence sources.

The reports were found during raids in London, Luton, Bushey and Blackburn in which 13 people were arrested.

They contain information that officials in Washington say could lead to more security alerts similar to the one which pinpointed five financial targets in Washington and New York.
. . .
The discovery underlines the growing fear that al Qaeda is planning a massive strike on the scale of the September 11 atrocity. In Britain documents found in the flat of one of those arrested in the raids suggest he trained as a suicide bomber and failed to win asylum here [in the UK].
And it looks like MI5 bagged somebody high up on AQ's org chart:
Among those arrested last week by MI5 and Scotland Yard's Anti-Terrorist Branch is believed to be Abu Musa al Hindi, a senior al Qaeda suspect, allegedly ordered to America four years ago to select targets for an attack.

Posted by Chris at 01:49 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

August 06, 2004

You Hits The Snooze And You Takes Yer Chances

Jay Reding manages to do something I hadn't thought possible - add value to a Victor Davis Hanson essay (Dr. Hanson don't hardly never leave no money on the table, so to speak). To wit:

In the end, we have a choice. Either we can admit to ourselves that we’re in a war, and that we have to win it, or we can go back to trying to pretend that the war doesn’t exist until an another September 11 awakes us from our slumber yet again. Given that the next attack could leave 3,000 caring for an entire city rather than other way around, we cannot afford that option.

Posted by Chris at 02:19 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

Good News, Bad News in Russia

On the one hand, the main investigator of the Chechen branch of the Russian Justice Ministry was assassinated by terrorists. On the other hand, I think they've found a highly motivated replacement:

According to Interfax, four men wearing masks and camouflage, approached the house of Ramzan Asukhanov"s family in a car. The bandits broke into the house and attacked the investigator and his elderly father. They killed investigator Asukhanov, and then tried to steal VAZ-2109 vehicle being in the yard with no keys.

At that moment, the wife of the killed man, Chechen by nationality, took her husband"s machine-gun, went out to the yard and started firing at the bandits. One of them was killed at once, another one tried to throw a grenade at the lady. Either the woman"s gun bullet hit him first or he did something wrong, but the grenade exploded in his hands. He died.

The third attacker was also killed on the spot. The fourth banded was wounded, and later he died in hospital.

Posted by Chris at 10:36 AM | Comments (1)
Category: Splodeydope watch

May 15, 2004

Arizona Muslims? Well, It Is Mostly Desert...

I'm sure the vast majority of Muslims in America are peace-loving, decent people who want nothing more than to live in harmony with their kaffir neighbors. And I'm sure they're going to get the Islamic Supremacists in their midst under control Real Soon Now. I mean, why else would CAIR hold a rally in Tempe to "stand for human rights and dignity?"

Let Azygos tell you why else:

In CAIR’s statement “Not In The Name Of Islam” they never actually condemn terrorism. They use words like “repudiate” and “dissociate ourselves… from any Muslim… commits such brutal and unIslamic acts.” This is different from using words like DENOUNCE, CONDEMN, ABHOR, or WRONG, EVIL, DISPICABLE, UNGODLY etc. To be fair CAIR does use the word condemn in their press release concerning the killing of Mr. Berg, but they never actually condemn terrorism. This is an important point.

. . .

On CAIR’s “CAIR Condemns Murder of American in Iraq” webpage they state:

“We condemn this cold-blooded murder and repudiate all those who commit such acts of mindless violence in the name of religion…”

Lets stop right here and address this.

“Name of Religion”

Which religion specifically are we talking about here? Is it the Catholics who are sawing the heads off of Americans? Do I need to worry if I travel to London that a radical group of Protestants are going to kidnap me, cut off my head and scream God is Great? What about the Lutherans? How many heads have they cut off recently? Then there are the Jews, but they don’t have time to cut off heads because they are busy cleaning up the skin, bones and blood of innocent women and children blown up by ROP.

No, the only animals currently sawing off heads are Muslims but you wouldn’t know that by reading the press release. No, they lump ALL Religions into the brutal category of the ROP. This statement is as genuine as me telling my dear wife how great her dress looks and how it is just wonderful what they can do with burlap these days.

Posted by Chris at 05:12 PM | Comments (4)
Category: Splodeydope watch

May 10, 2004

The Black Knight Always Triumphs!

So the Coalition arrested one of Moqtada al-Sadr's major henchmen and bombed the crap out of his Baghdad office. Apparently that's the signal for the Mahdi Army to move into 'Phase 2' of their resistance:

NAJAF, Iraq (Reuters) - Iraqi Shi'ite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr Monday ordered his Mehdi Army to launch a broad new offensive against U.S.-led occupying forces following a U.S. crackdown on his strongholds in Baghdad and across the south.

U.S. bombs flattened his office in the capital overnight.

"We have now entered a second phase of resistance," said Sadr's chief aide at his main base in the holy city of Najaf.
Apparently, this is the phase where the Coalition gets to kill them wholesale instead of retail.

Update: Yep, sure seems like it:

United States troops, backed by tanks and armoured vehicles, have killed up to 25 militiamen loyal to rebel cleric Moqtada al-Sadr in fierce fighting in the holy Shiite city of Karbala, a senior US military officer said.

Locals said the fighting erupted on Tuesday evening (local time) and was still going on as dawn broke, with members of Sadr's Mehdi Army militia holed up in a mosque and surrounded by US forces.

Posted by Chris at 09:29 AM | Comments (2)
Category: Splodeydope watch

April 19, 2004

Middle East Politics Simplified

Abdul-Aziz Rantissi denied Israel's right to exist.

So Israel denied Rantissi's right to exist.

I'd say this round goes to Israel.

Posted by Chris at 12:10 PM | Comments (2)
Category: Splodeydope watch

April 14, 2004

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

There's a Marine in hot water over a picture he allegedly had taken in Iraq, which shows him posing with two Iraqi boys. All three are smiling, and one boy is holding a sign that says "Lcpl Boudreaux killed my dad. then he knocked up my sister." CAIR has got their shorts in a wad, seething, gnashing, demanding the guy's head, the usual. Just one teeny, tiny problem: there's some doubt as to exactly what the sign says.

The thing in all this that got my attention was a paragraph from the Marine Corps Times story:

Gunnery Sgt. Jamal Baadani, the president and founder of the Association of Patriotic Arab Americans in Military, is on a one-year tour in the Middle East. There, he gives cultural lessons to newly assigned personnel and is Chief of Host Nation Training Support Coordination.

“This picture and sign directed towards a Muslim family is inexcusable,” he said via e-mail. “Inexcusable because if this lance corporal was given a basic class on Islam, he would have known that remarks such as ‘knocking up’ a Muslim Arab woman is not tolerated and violates the honor of a Muslim woman and her family.

“If it was a local Iraq Arab that did this, he would have been shot by a family member on the spot for violating their family honor,” he said.
I think his last sentence was misquoted. It's far more likely that it really read "If it was a local Iraqi Arab that did this, she would have been shot by a family member on the spot for violating their family honor."

Posted by Chris at 03:20 PM | Comments (5)
Category: Splodeydope watch

April 02, 2004

See No Jihadis, Hear No Jihadis

Update to Wednesday's story about last week's Howe shooting incident. Apparently the FBI thinks there might be something worth investigating after all:

Items found after the arrest of the man accused of firing on three people in Howe last week has led the FBI to investigate possible ties to terrorist organizations. Adel Al Yazidi, 34, was arrested March 26 in Trumbull County, Ohio, on three LaGrange County charges of attempted murder. After the arrest, police searched the Ashtabula County home where he was staying.

There, near the Pennsylvania border, they found a Mideastern video depicting various buildings and explosions, as well as sheets of counterfeit cigarette tax stamps, police said.

"There were some objects in his possession that kind of piqued our interest," FBI Special Agent Robert Hawk said Thursday. "I think it bears us looking into his background to see if there are any ties to terrorist groups overseas."

Hawk, of the FBI's Cleveland office, would not specify which objects were of interest or what terrorist groups Yazidi could be linked to.
However, not everybody's on board this train:
LaGrange County Prosecutor Jeff Wible said the state of Indiana has not changed its charges.

"I really have no information that this guy is connected to terrorism," Wible said. 'I'm really, really reluctant to tie him to terrorism. I just don't want to give any credence to that."
Why. The. Hell. NOT?!? Maybe he is, maybe he isn't - but you owe it to the people who elected you to have that investigated!

Posted by Chris at 08:29 AM | Comments (0)
Category: Local Stuff

March 31, 2004

Amish Country Splodeydope?

It's too soon to tell, but there's a possibility that the Jihad has come to northeast Indiana:

HOWE - A week-old shooting involving a Russian assault rifle sparked a two-state, multi-agency investigation of possible, but so far unlikely, connections to terrorist activity. The person charged in the shooting is Adel Al Yazidi, 34. He was arrested Friday in Trumbull County, Ohio, accused in the attempted murder of three people on the outskirts of this northern LaGrange County town on March 24.

The case has since evolved beyond the shooting. When Yazidi was arrested, police found a Mideastern video depicting various buildings and explosions, along with sheets of counterfeit cigarette tax stamps inside the home where he was staying.

"The FBI stated they don't believe there's any link (to terrorism)," said Detective Jeff Campos of the LaGrange County Sheriff's Department, adding he is not worried about a terrorist threat in LaGrange County.
It's not like they found bomb-making materials or anything. They just stumbled over (allegedly) part of the revenue stream, that's all. Nothing more to see here, citizen. Move along.
The investigation in LaGrange County began after a local business owner, Saleh "Sam" Ali Obad, told police Yazidi had forged about $30,000 in checks from Obad's business, B&S Auto Sales.

Obad had left his business in the care of Yazidi when he returned to visit family in Yemen. Yazidi allegedly took checks from the business and forged Obad's name on them, cashing them throughout the region, according to Obad and police.
Oops! Stepped in another part of the (alleged) revenue stream. Never mind.
Obad told Yazidi he had filed forgery charges against him, police said, and about 6:30 p.m. March 24 on North LaGrange County Road 050 East, Yazidi placed an SKS assault rifle across the roof of his car and opened fire on a 2002 Chevrolet Avalanche driven by Obad, with his wife, Ella Wampler, and a friend, Saif Abdulla Muthana, all of Howe.

No one was injured, although the vehicle was riddled with bullet holes in the front, the engine and the doors on the driver's side. One large round went through a house across the street, passing through the living room and lodging in the kitchen, Campos said.

The three were following Yazidi after he had been seen driving slowly by Obad's home and business property, according to police and Obad.

After the shooting, Yazidi took off in a stolen 1991 Mercury Grand Marquis, Campos said. He was arrested Friday in a different vehicle north of Warren, Ohio, near the Pennsylvania border.

. . .

While searching the home of Yazidi's girlfriend north of Warren, near Orwell, Ohio, police found thousands of counterfeit cigarette tax stamps and the video.

Yazidi has been linked to addresses in a number of states, including Illinois, Michigan, Ohio, New York and Indiana, Campos said.

But police do not believe Yazidi is funding terrorism in Yemen.

Wendy Osborne of the Indiana FBI said she could not confirm or deny whether the FBI is investigating Yazidi.
So let me get this straight. The cops raid the guy's girlfriend's apartment, find items consistent with A) terrorist sympathies (the videos) and B) known methods of financing terror (the tax stamps), and they won't either 'confirm or deny' that they're investigating further? Look. If he's under investigation, why not say so? It's not like the rest of his cell won't already know he's been arrested. If he's not under investigation, what are they waiting for, a buggy bomb to go off in front of Yoder's farm? And if by chance he's not funneling money to Hizballah or whoever, what better way to clear his name than "We investigated further and determined there is no link between Mr. Yazidi and terrorism?"

If you're not clear on the role counterfeit cigarette tax stamps play in financing terrorism, read this. Indeed, given that Charlotte, Michigan (the town mentioned in that story) is less than 90 minutes drive from LaGrange, it's possible that Yazidi was in on that exact scam!

Back to the Journal-Gazette story:

The counterfeit cigarette tax stamps Ohio police found in the house - where Yazidi was staying - look like official stamps issued by state governments, said Detective Chet McNabb of the Trumbull-Ashtabula-Geauga Law Enforcement Task Force.

The stamps, which are legally required to be affixed to packs of cigarettes sold everywhere but on Indian reservations, are clear cellophane, with writing in black or blue ink, McNabb said. The counterfeit stamps - made on a computer - are stuck to packs bought at Indian reservations and then sold for full price.

"They'll take them to mom and pop stores, Arabic stores, put fake tax stamps on them, sell them for full price," McNabb said. "Eventually that money gets funneled back into the system to go back oversees. That's one of the ways (terrorists) get money."

Several Indian reservations are in New York, within a three-hour drive of Trumbull and Ashtabula counties.

McNabb said the task force found no cigarettes in Yazidi's girlfriend's house.

Police also found a video that showed "buildings, vehicles, all sorts of things being blown up," McNabb said.

"I have no way of knowing what it is, what it relates to," he said. "I don't know the language, so I don't know what they're saying."

But the video is definitely of Mideastern origin, McNabb said. The FBI terrorism task force out of Cleveland plans to examine it today.
Three guesses what it'll say. First two don't count.

Posted by Chris at 03:49 PM | Comments (2)
Category: Local Stuff

March 24, 2004

This Way To The Gore Gallery

I've been getting a lot of hits lately by people Googling for pictures of Sheikh Yassin's shuffle off this mortal coil. I don't have any, but I know who does (all links courtesy of the Creator of Worlds. Caution: these are every bit as graphic as you expect pictures of someone hit by an antitank missile to be. Maybe more so. [] [] [another]

Posted by Chris at 09:40 AM | Comments (2)
Category: Splodeydope watch

March 22, 2004

Just Because He's Wheelchair-Bound Doesn't Mean He Doesn't Deserve To Die

The IDF bagged a big fish this morning: Hamas founder and spiritual leader Sheikh Ahmed Yassin:

Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and leaders of Islamic militant group Hamas declared three days of mourning on Monday for the group's founder and spiritual leader, Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, who was assassinated at dawn by Israeli missiles as he was leaving a mosque near his home in Gaza City.

The 67-year-old paraplegic was killed when Israeli Apache helicopters fired three missiles at him as he was headed toward his car in his wheelchair following morning prayers.
In true Palestinian Blood Ritual fashion, bystanders had to go get a piece.
Leaders, members and supporters of Hamas rushed to the hospital to view Yassin's body, chanting slogans calling for revenge against Israel, and thousands of people poured into the streets as they heard the news. "We strongly condemn this assassination of an old quadriplegic man," Palestinian Authority chief negotiator Saeb Erekat told reporters at the hospital. "Israel is dragging the whole region again to a wave of violence."
Note the promotion of Yassin from paraplegic to quadraplegic (that's OK; he could still pray in an acceptable fashion - at least right up to the point where the missile upset his applecart). And I'm getting sick of this whole "It's all Israel's fault!" meme. Splodeydopes blow up school buses and cafes, killing pretty much only civilians; Israel retaliates by killing the people who plan and finance that, and this makes the 'wave of violence' Israel's fault?!?

Naturally, they vow revenge:

"The reaction to assassinating the Sheikh will turn all Palestine (including Israel) to an angry volcano and into a piece of hell that will burn the land under the feet of the Zionists!" Islma'eel Haneya, a Hamas leader close to Yassin, told reporters at Shiffa Hospital.

"Yassin is a martyr and he is in paradise now," Haneya said. He said that reaction "to this awful crime would never be expected, and Israel would severely regret assassinating (Yassin) and other Palestinian leaders and fighters."
So let me get this straight. Yassin is in paradise, thanks to the Israelis, so now Hamas wants to punish them? I would think they'd be happy the IDF liberated him from the festering shithole that is Gaza!
Izel Dein Al Qassam, the armed wing of the militant Islamic Hamas movement, said in a leaflet that its response to the assassination of Yassin would be "like an earthquake that will shake all the state of Israel."

. . .

Last week two suicide bombers killed 10 Israelis in Ashdod, and [Israeli Defense Minister Shaul] Mofaz told the Israeli cabinet that seven more suicide bombings had been thwarted since the beginning of March.
So we have nine attempts in three weeks, two successful. Let's see if the splodeydopes can put their money where their mouth is.

Posted by Chris at 08:35 AM | Comments (2)
Category: Splodeydope watch

March 17, 2004

Heavenly Hos

So what's the payoff for the five-a-day regime, anyway? Men: free mistresses in heaven! And your wives won't mind! And they'll get cosmic extreme makeovers! What's not to like? The Imam sez:

This ayah outwardly addresses the males of this ummah and promises them Hoors in the Hereafter. Consequently, a Muslima will not be adversely affected when her pious husband is endowed with a Hoor.

. . .

Further it is mentioned in a lengthy Hadith that Rasulullah Sallallaahu-alaihi-wasallam was asked a similar question one day by one of his wives. He consoled her by explaining that the believing woman of this world will be far more beautiful and attractive than the Hoors. This will be due to the excessive ibaadah that they (the woman of this world) had performed.
Ask The Imam: a guaranteed cure for blogger's block.

Posted by Chris at 04:09 PM | Comments (2)
Category: Splodeydope watch

March 13, 2004

Breakthroughs in Islamic Medicine

I'm hooked on Ask The Imam, I really am. Every time I hit the 'Read Random Fatwa' button, I want to do it again. Like this fatwa on the benefits of cupping:

Hadhrat Abu Hurayra (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said: 'One should not undergo cupping during the 13, 14 and 15 of the lunar month.' Some Muhadditheen explain that on those days the full moon has a gravitational impact on many things on earth. For example, the sea has high tides due to the full moon. Similarly, the flowing of the blood is also affected and flows faster during the full moon. One may loose much blood in these days if one undergoes cupping. Therefore, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) advised that one should undergo cupping on the 17, 19 and 21 of the lunar month. (Mishkãt p. 389). Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) advised that cupping should not be done on a Tuesday, since there is a certain time on a Tuesday that flowing blood does not stop. (Mishkãt p. 389). Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) also advised that cupping should not be done on Saturdays and Wednesdays as this could lead to leprosy. (Mishkãt p. 389)
You may think "That must have been a historical reference, like leeching or something; surely they don't still believe that!"

And you'd be wrong.

Posted by Chris at 11:32 PM | Comments (4)
Category: Splodeydope watch

March 06, 2004

Choose Your Battles Wisely

Do you know why, really why, splodeydopes attack defenseless targets like buses and nightclubs? It's because when they go against the IDF, they get their asses handed to them. Literally.

At least six Palestinians were killed on Saturday during a suicide bombing and shooting attack on Israeli soldiers at the main Israel-Gaza border crossing.

. . .

Brigadier-General Gadi Shamni, commander of Israeli forces in northern Gaza, said the incident began when a Palestinian car exploded at the heavily guarded Erez crossing.

Hamas called it a suicide bombing and said the driver was killed. Shamni said no Israelis were hurt.

Soon afterwards, two jeeps painted in Israeli army colors raced to the scene, as if they were responding to the blast, and a Palestinian gunman in the lead vehicle began firing at soldiers, who shot him and its driver dead, Shamni told Reuters.

The second jeep, also disguised as an army vehicle, then exploded near a Palestinian police post about 100 meters (yards) away, killing the driver, the general said by telephone.

Hospital officials said at least two other Palestinians, both policemen, were killed and some 15 wounded.

Posted by Chris at 03:51 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

February 26, 2004

It's A Sharia Thing; You Wouldn't Understand. Literally.

Continuing the thoughts in yesterday's fatwa:

It may, superficially, appear distasteful to copulate with a woman who is not a man's legal wife, but once Shariah makes something lawful, we have to accept it as lawful, whether it appeals to our taste, or not; and whether we know its underlying wisdom or not. It is necessary for a Muslim to be acquainted with the laws of Shariah, but it is not necessary for him to delve into each law in order to find the underlying wisdom of these laws because knowledge of the wisdom of some of the laws may be beyond his puny comprehension. Allah Ta'ala has said in the Holy Quraan: "Wa maa ooteetum min al-ilm illaa qaleelan" which means, more or less, that, "You have been given a very small portion of knowledge". Hence, if a person fails to comprehend the underlying wisdom of any law of Shariah, he cannot regard it as a fault of Shariah (Allah forbid), on the contrary, it is the fault of his own perception and lack of understanding, because no law of Shariah is contradictory to wisdom.
There is no need to ask silly questions like "Why?", brother; sharia simply is. Any lack of understanding is your own fault; you are too stupid to understand why!

Islam ensured that the slave girl's duties were not restricted merely to domestic chores but also gave her master permission to copulate with her. This concession created an atmosphere of love and harmony between the slave girl and her master. Islam thereby raised the status of the war captive-maidens close to that of wives. It was a psychological cure to her grief-stricken heart, being deprived of her family and thrown into the hands of a strange society.
Sure, on the one hand, your husband and family are dead and your home destroyed. But look on the bright side - you get to be raped by some guy who now owns you! There's no downside!

Posted by Chris at 04:45 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

February 25, 2004

Sharia Aptitude Test Prep Course

Today on "SAT Prep Course", we look at word analogy questions. For instance,

What is the best word to fill the blank: Marriage:Slavery::Butchery: __?__
A) Taqija
B) Fishing
C) Jihad
D) Pederasty

A) is incorrect. While lying to infidels is encouraged, the analogy is only peripherally related to the question.

C) is incorrect. Jihad is always a correct answer; however, in this rare case, it is not the most correct answer.

D) is incorrect, as the Prophet (pbuh) was actually married to all his child brides; therefore, it was not a question of property rights.

The correct answer is B) Fishing:

A free woman cannot be 'possessed', bought or sold like other possessions; therefore Shariah instituted a 'marriage ceremony' in which affirmation and consent takes place, which gives a man the right to copulate with her. On the other hand, a slave girl can be possessed and even bought and sold, thus, this right of possession, substituting as a marriage ceremony, entitles the owner to copulate with her. A similar example can be found in the slaughtering of animals; that after a formal slaughtering process, in which the words, "Bismillahi Allahu Akbar" are recited, goats, cows, etc.; become "Halaal" and lawful for consumption, whereas fish becomes "Halaal" merely through 'possession' which substitutes for the slaughtering.

In other words, just as legal possession of a fish that has been fished out of the water, makes it Halaal for human consumption without the initiation of a formal slaughtering process; similarly legal possession of a slave woman made her Halaal for the purpose of coition with her owner without the initiation of a formal marriage ceremony.

Posted by Chris at 04:43 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

February 20, 2004

Missed Him By That Much...

I had an exam in my networking class Monday night, so I went to campus a couple of hours early for some last minute studying. I got to the student union bare moments after the end of a lecture by International Socialist Solidarity Movement co-founder Adam Shapiro. Dammit dammit dammit! I pay my dues to the VRWC precisely so I can have advance notice of things like this! At the very least, I could have taken notes for a vigorous fisking later; with a little more lead time, I would have been able to ask embarrasing questions like:

  • Why are you still perpetuating the fraud that the IDF massacred innocent bystanders in the Jenin refugee camp when in fact there was no such massacre?
  • Do you still support the Palestinians' right to resist through "legitimate armed struggle?" How exactly do you define "legitimate armed struggle?"
  • Do you condemn Palestinian suicide bombing? Do you deny that New Jersey ISM chapter leader Charlotte Kates said "Why is there something particularly horrible about 'suicide bombing' - except for the extreme dedication conveyed in the resistance fighter's willingness to use his or her own body to fight?"
  • Why do you not endorse the Roadmap? What do you think would happen to Israeli Jews under a one-state Palestine?
  • Don't you think your energies in the occupied territories would be better spent keeping the Palestinians from perpetuating their culture of hatred than in overtly suborning yourselves to terrorist groups?
And that's just off the top of my head.

Posted by Chris at 04:48 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Local Stuff

February 17, 2004

Premature Marytrdom, Again

LGF points me to another small 'oops' in Gaza:

A Palestinian teenager was killed in an explosion inside a Gaza City apartment Monday, witnesses and hospital officials said.

The blast in the 12-story building was apparently caused by either the premature detonation of a bomb or the accidental explosion of a cooking gas cylinder, residents and security officials said.
Vegas odds on 'cooking gas cylinder:' 1,000:1. Later reports, though, make it hard for me to decide whether whether to file this under 'Splodeydope Watch' or 'Dangerous Stupidity:'
A 17-year-old Palestinian was killed Monday evening at the Shata refugee camp in the Gaza Strip, apparently after handling a hand grenade or an explosive charge. The boy's mother and brother were injured in the blast.
The Palestinians, of course, are putting their money on the IDF:
GAZA (Reuters) - An Israeli aircraft has attacked a target in Gaza City, Palestinian witnesses say.

The identity of the target was not immediately known. The Israeli army, which has killed wanted militants in air strikes since the start of a Palestinian uprising more than three years ago, had no immediate comment.

Palestinian witnesses said an Israeli helicopter fired a missile in the attack on Monday.

Posted by Chris at 03:40 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

February 13, 2004

Karma, Chechen Style

On the heels of yesterday's 'oops' in Gaza comes news that Zelimkhan Yandarbiyev, former Chechen president and suspected terrorist simp, done gone and blowed up real good:

FORMER Chechen President Zelimkhan Yandarbiyev, who has been linked to al-Qaida and was accused by Russia of maintaining international terrorist ties, died Friday after his car exploded in the Qatari capital, the Interior Ministry said.

. . .

The Russian Embassy had no immediate comment.
This happened in Doha, Qatar, which is a little disturbing, but it shows that the Russian security services can win an away game (we already know how tough they play at home).

Posted by Chris at 10:19 AM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

February 12, 2004

Karma, Gaza Style

In an update to last week's Palestinian 'work accident' story, Hamas is claming that Abdel Nasser Abu Shokeh's death was a hit:

Abdel Nasser Abu Shokeh, 37, of Al-Gourej was killed Friday in an explosion believed until now to be a "work accident," that is, a premature explosion that occurred while he was handling explosives meant for use against Israel. But in a report by Israel Radio, Hamas now says his death was a hit by Israel.

Shokeh was believed to be head of Hamas's military wing in Central Gaza. He was also the lover of suicide bomber who blew herself up at the Erez Checkpoint, killing three soldiers and one civilian and leaving behind two children.

After Reem Salah al-Rayashi's husband discovered the affair, her erstwhile lover apparently supplied her with explosives and chose the place where she should kill herself and any Israelis she could take along with her.

Hamas said that an Arab Israeli who had supplied Shokeh with an army uniform gave him a model of Al-Aqsa Mosque as a gift. A few hours later, the model exploded, killing its new owner.

Hamas says it was an Israeli job, but Jihad Watch asked the same question that immediately came to my mind - where was the (widowed) husband? "Gee, Inspector, I haven't left the house since my wife died. I've thrown myself into my hobby of making scale models of buildings..."

Posted by Chris at 03:28 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

February 11, 2004

Degrees Of Ugly

When you take a chick back to her place because you were looking through beer goggles, and you wake up the next morning, look at her, and think, "Damn, she's ugly!", there are three categories she can fall into.

First, there's garden-variety "Coyote Ugly," (no, not that), where you wake up with your arm around her and gnaw your arm off so you can escape without waking her up.

Second, there's "Double Coyote Ugly," where you gnaw your other arm off after you escape because you know she'll be looking for a one-armed man.

Finally, there's "Strap On An Explosive Vest And Blow Yourself Up So You Don't Have To Marry Her Ugly:"

The family of the latest Palestinian suicide bomber have expressed shock at his involvement in the attack because he was due to be married next week.

. . .

His father expressed surprise at the family home near Bethlehem shortly before reports arrived that an Israeli demolition squad was on its way. "I was expecting to marry him, not to bury him. This is just not my son. I just couldn't believe it."

(Hat tip: Allah. The BBC story is almost two weeks old - how did I miss it?)

Posted by Chris at 08:25 AM | Comments (1)
Category: Splodeydope watch

February 06, 2004

Islamokazis 39, Darwin 2

It looks like the Chechens have found somebody else actually willing to flip the switch:

An explosion tore through a subway car in the Moscow metro during morning rush hour Friday, killing 39 people, according to the Interfax news agency, and wounding more than 100 others in what appeared to be the deadliest terrorist blast to hit the capital since Russia launched its second war in Chechnya.

Officials differed over whether the blast, which hit five weeks before Russia's presidential election, had been caused by a suicide bomber. Deputy Moscow Mayor Valery Shantsev said that investigators had not found metal shrapnel, which usually fills suicide bombers' explosives. He said that the bomb had likely been in an attache case or rucksack on the floor of the subway car.

The Interfax news agency, citing unnamed police sources, said the attack was carried out by a female suicide bomber. Police have a videotape of the suspected attacker and her alleged accomplice standing on the metro platform before boarding the train, Interfax reported.
After their recent human reliability problems, it's good for the Chechens to know they can have a woman they can count on next time to... um, never mind.

Yesterday wasn't all bad, though. It appears we got an 'own goal' from the Palestinians:

A leader of the military wing of the Hamas militant group was killed last night in an explosion that rocked his home in a Gaza Strip refugee camp, medics and witnesses said.

Witnesses said they saw Israeli helicopters hovering over the Bureij camp shortly after the blast killed the militant, identified by Hamas officials as Abdel Naser Abu Shuka, 36.

. . .

The Israeli Army denied that the military was involved in the explosion. "There were no forces in the area, neither on land nor in the air," when the blast occurred, a spokesman told Reuters.

An Israeli military source said the army suspected that Abu Shuka died in an accident while preparing an explosive.

Palestinian security officials said they were investigating whether Abu Shuka was killed by a booby-trapped package or by an explosive detonating accidentally in his hands.

As Nelson Muntz would say: "Ha-ha!"

Posted by Chris at 08:49 AM | Comments (4)
Category: Splodeydope watch

February 05, 2004

Well, All Right, But This Is Your Last Chance...

What kind of terminally-goobered-up people are we dealing with when we see headlines like "Failed Suicide Bomber Lost Will to Die?"

MOSCOW (AP) -- A Chechen suicide bomber who was arrested after failing to detonate an explosive in a Moscow cafe last summer said in an interview published Tuesday that she had lost her will to die and purposely tried to attract attention to herself.

Zarema Muzhakhoyeva, 23, was detained in July after her strange behavior attracted the attention of security guards at Mon Cafe, a restaurant just off a main avenue leading to the Kremlin. A bomb disposal expert, Maj. Georgy Trofimov, was killed trying to defuse the explosive that she had carried in a bag and left on the sidewalk.

The arrest sent jitters through the Russian capital, still shaken by a double suicide-bombing at a Moscow rock concert five days earlier that killed the two attackers and 14 other people.

Muzhakhoyeva faces charges of terrorism, conspiracy to murder two or more people, and illegal possession and transfer of weapons, the Izvestia daily reported. If convicted, she could spend 25 years in prison.

Muzhakhoyeva told Izvestia that she hopes for acquittal under a law lifting criminal responsibility from people who warn of a terrorist act or its preparation. She described doing her best to attract attention to herself without provoking punishment from the controllers she was sure were following her - and who, she was convinced, could detonate her bomb by remote control.
On the one hand, there seems to be some glimmer of hope, at least for this particular failed splodeydope. On the other hand, her handlers are probably glad to be rid of her, since this wasn't the first time she couldn't close the deal:
Abandoned by her mother at 10 months and widowed after her much older husband was shot in a business dispute, Muzhakhoyeva told Izvestia that she turned to terrorism as a way out of shame. She had stolen jewelry from her grandparents and sold it in hopes of being able to start a new life with her young daughter, whom her husband's family had placed with another relative, but the family prevented her from taking the child and then froze her out.

Muzhakhoyeva said she then turned to terrorism, having heard that suicide bombers' families were rewarded $1,000. She spent time in rebel training camps in the mountains of southern Chechnya, and then was assigned to blow up a bus in Mozdok, the Russian military headquarters in the Caucasus region. When the targeted bus turned up, however, she could not bring herself to connect the wires of the bomb she carried, she said.

"At that moment I realized that I could not blow myself up," she recalled.
No biggie. The Death Cultists just went to their bullpen:
Another woman completed the job a few days later, killing herself and 15 others.

In spite of her failure, Muzhakhoyeva's handlers sent her to Moscow. She lived in a safe house outside the capital with a male guard, a male explosives expert and two women, who blew themselves up at the rock concert just a few days after arriving.
(hat tip: Jihad Watch)

Muzhakhoyeva's case seems different from most other splodeydopes in that she appeared to be in fairly desparate straits, as opposed to the average Palestinian Islamokazi (Islamokaze?). The question is whether Darwin can triumph over the madrassas by killing splodeydopes faster than they can be created. I don't think I like the answer.

Posted by Chris at 04:56 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

January 18, 2004

Shame, Shame!

I've often said that if you're in a culture war against a pride/shame-based culture, the way to defeat it is to shame it every chance you get. As usual, Victor Davis Hanson says what I'm thinking, but says it much better (even though it's not really the main thrust of the essay):

"Apart from the model of our forefathers who crushed and then lifted up the Germans and Japanese, we could find no better guide in this war than William Tecumseh Sherman and Abraham Lincoln — in that order. The former would remind us that our enemies traffic in pride and thus first must be disabused of it through defeat and humiliation. The latter (who turned Sherman and Grant lose [sic]) would maintain that we are a forgiving sort, who prefer restored rather than beaten people as our friends."

Posted by Chris at 08:12 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

January 14, 2004

The Fundamental Misunderstanding

In a post I made about a month after September 11th, I said:

There's an angle on the terrorist attacks that I don't think I've heard anywhere: if the terrorists' goal was to get the US to end its support for Israel, what they should have done is kept on doing what they were doing--attack American interests overseas. Eventually, we may have tired of being nickel-and-dimed over something most people see--or at least saw--as irrelevant (I mean, how many people knew who Osama bin Laden or the Taliban were before September 11?), and just rolled over and said 'The hell with it. Israel, you're on your own.' Instead, by taking the fight to our homeland, the terrorists have made exactly the same mistake the Japanese did in 1941. And we all know how that one ended.

Yesterday I got a comment on this two-year-old post from the quaintly-named 'Death Jihadi,' who said:

I know I am replying to an old post, but I think your optimism regarding the War On Terrorism is a little naive. There is a difference between fighting a nation state like Japan (which can always surrender), and an international, nationLESS band of people like Al Qaida.
A distinction without much of a difference. Al-Qaida was only able to plan September 11 because it had Afghanistan as a (then) stable base of operations where they could plan without interference, and Fraudi Arabia as a steady source of funds. Note that they haven't been able to do much beyond the odd nightclub or truck bomb since they got our attention.
I think the whole point of the Iraq war was to demonstrate American power (like the Death Star destroying Alderon in STAR WARS -- I'm sorry to say that America is the Empire in this new story, the Americans are the bad guys.) Maybe Mohammad Atta (the author of September 11 -- and destined to be remembered as an historic figure and military mastermind in the future) thought that he was like Luke Skywalker, destroying the Star Destroyer. I mean, Luke must have killed many people when he blew up that thing. Isn't he a terrorist?
I won't even argue the first point - I think that was indeed one of the many reasons. Note that Libya 'suddenly' gave up all aspirations to acquire WMD. Coincidence? Sure.

Are we the Empire? Gee, I don't know - why don't you ask the American subjects living in the states of West Germany, Honshu, Kyushu, and Hokkaido? Whoops - we forgot to annex them! And the Star Wars saga as a metaphor for the Wahhabists' crusade? Riiiiight. If the jihadis take over, do you think the Committee For The Promotion Of Virtue And The Prevention Of Vice will even let you watch those movies? Not a chance. It's a bad metaphor, anyway - Luke didn't go to Coruscant and off three thousand Imperial civilians.

I don't mean to sound too arcane, but my point is: there is a war on, and in a war, it all comes down to strategy.
There's nothing arcane about it; it's fairly straightforward, although amateurs discuss strategy while professionals discuss logistics.
America has the technology but has lost its nerve (it is not willing to sacrafice huge casualities.) Al Qaida, on the other hand, are both creative and totally willing to give their lives for the cause they believe in (death to the Empire). So, who do you think will win this kind of confrontation?
This is the fundamental misunderstanding the splodeydopes have about America, and it is the fatal flaw that will ultimately spell the end of Wahhabist Islam. America, throughout its history, has never failed to respond fully to any mortal threat. 1776, 1812, 1861, 1941. We did what we needed to do, cost be damned. And that brings us back to my original point: by taking this battle to our homeland, the splodeydopes have drawn our attention to the mortal threat they pose to us. No, we're not going to pop a nuke on Al-Qaida HQ and declare victory, but we will not stop until the threat is gone, one death cultist at a time.
And are Americans willing to give up their future so that Israeli's can realise their Zionist dreams?
Oh, silly me, I forgot - it's all about the Joooooooooos!

Posted by Chris at 11:22 PM | Comments (3)
Category: Splodeydope watch

January 04, 2004

Clarke's Law, Applied

Strategy Page's Iraq entry for January 2 discusses a series of raids targeting rebel leaders:

"These operations leave the Iraqis somewhat in awe of American military prowess. That's because U.S. troops prefer to operate at night, where convoys of armored vehicles and trucks can move rapidly down roads with no lights on. The troops use their night vision goggles to see the road, but to any Iraqis, it's just these dark shapes hurtling through the night. Even scarier is the precision with which the troops appear to operate. The vehicles surround a village or large compound and dozens of American troops dismount, each one quickly going about a specific task. No shouting (many troops use personal radios or hand signals), and no milling around. And no lights. If the people the troops are looking for try to escape out a back door, American troops swiftly cut them off and arrest them, or shoot them if there is resistance.

. . .

The troops practice their raiding drills beforehand, and are briefed on the "game plan" before each operation. The commanders back at the base have access to live video from a UAV overhead (which is displayed on large, flat screen TV monitors), and Blue Force Tracker shows all commanders the position of all vehicles and helicopters at all times. Sometimes the Special Forces has the target under observation before the troops show up, as does a UAV overhead. There are also electronic intelligence troops listening in on any cell phone (or other radio) signals coming from the target location. Detective work tries to find out exactly who is in the buildings to be raided, and who is in charge. Interpreters or Arabic speaking G.I.s will then call for the senior Iraqi to let them know why the troops are there and to avoid any resistance. This is shock and awe."
You remember Clarke's Law, right? Sufficiently advanced technology...
"Story telling is an old tradition in Iraq, and the stories of these raids get embellished. While Iraqis like to emphasize how these American barbarians searched women for weapons (leaving out that usually only a metal detector is used), the "magical" manner in which the troops come out of the darkness and grab exactly who, or what, they want, never fails to impress [emphasis added]. It sounds like a fairy tale, but it's real."

This reminds me of an article titled "Great Satan's" Scary Secret Weapon written by Tony Geraghty and published in Defense & Diplomacy magazine just after Gulf War I. I couldn't find it online (except for a mention in a Gulf War bibliography), but I can excerpt from a copy I have:

"One imaginative airman posed for the camera in full flying kit and a mask that lent him the appearance of a zombie or a vampire.

Soon afterward the photograph - in sanguinary red-and-white, blood-and-death - came my way [Geraghty was serving as a Squadron Leader in the RAF in the Gulf at the time]. At the same time, there was much talk of Satan around Arabia; even the Great Satan, personified in simple minds by America.

It seemed to me that there was an opportunity here to turn this obsession, which confused the un-Islamic with the diabolic, to some use.

. . .

The cover story, I suggested, would be that the diabolic Pentagon had got into bed with Haiti's equally noxious Tonton Macout to sign up the Undead for service with the U.S. Navy. As they flew the first missions against Baghdad, these worthy monsters would fear nothing worse than the long sleep they so earnestly desired in any case.

. . .

I have no way of knowing whether this scheme bore fruit but I am in no doubt -- had the war lasted a little longer -- that it would have confirmed in Iraqi minds the nature of Allied air as a power that could operate as a force of darkness (a spooky phenomenon) as well as with Stealthy invisibility by day.

A rational man might pooh-pooh such ideas, but people under stress of battle, in the desert or urban air raid shelters, tend to be what the Irish call 'daytime atheists.'"

Posted by Chris at 04:55 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

September 17, 2003

So Richard Reid And John Walker Lindh Walk Into A Bar...

...where they're promptly grabbed by Coalition forces. The Evening Standard reports:

"The Foreign Office is investigating reports that US forces in Iraq have arrested two men who say they are British citizens.

The pair are being held with six other men, who claim to be US citizens, on suspicion of participating in attacks against coalition troops, a US officer told journalists in Iraq."
Although Rummy isn't so sure:
"At a Pentagon news briefing, Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said: 'The folks that we have scooped up have, on a number of occasions, multiple identifications from different countries.

'They are quite skilled at confusing people as to what their real nationality is or where they came from and what they are doing.'"

Posted by Chris at 07:02 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

August 26, 2003

Out Of The Frying Pan...

MSNBC is reporting that Hamas is taking measures to reduce their vulnerability to Israeli attacks. Things like minimizing cell phone usage, travelling by streets invisible from the air, and this:

"Only one militant should be in a car at a time."

They'd better watch out--that'll piss off the Earth Liberation Front. (Hat tip: Joe S.)

Posted by Chris at 11:07 AM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

August 14, 2003

Small Victories

Well, what do you know! The TSA's No-Fly List finally bagged somebody other than David Nelson! From the Seattle Times (via Shark Blog):

"Two Pakistani men are being held in Seattle after an airline employee at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport found one of their names on a terrorism-related no-fly list Saturday night.

One of the men, 36, carrying a British Columbia driver's license, paid cash for a one-way ticket to New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport. After the airline employee called 911, the man left the counter, abandoning his ticket.

The other man, 29, who had a New York driver's license, also paid cash for a one-way ticket to Kennedy Airport on a different airline, police reports show.

Port police detained both men, then turned them over to the FBI."

On the other hand, these guys don't look like Al-Qaida first stringers:

"'Of course, you wonder about these guys,' [Brian Jenkins, a terrorism expert and senior adviser to the Rand Corp. in Santa Monica] said. 'They're not particularly clever, coming to the airport to buy one-way tickets and to pay cash.'"

Posted by Chris at 07:08 AM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch

October 20, 2001

Welcome PENTACON XVI gamers!

I will be GM'ing a mutated combined game of Iron Dragon and EuroRails during Sesson 1 on Friday morning. Details are available here.

My friend Mark came up with one of the more tasteless Halloween costumes I've heard of in a while - wear a racing suit with a number '3'... and a steering wheel through his head. Not to be outdone, I immediately suggested dressing up as an airline pilot with a box cutter sticking out of his neck.

There's an angle on the terrorist attacks that I don't think I've heard anywhere: if the terrorists' goal was to get the US to end its support for Israel, what they should have done is kept on doing what they were doing--attack American interests overseas. Eventually, we may have tired of being nickel-and-dimed over something most people see--or at least saw--as irrelevant (I mean, how many people knew who Osama bin Laden or the Taliban were before September 11?), and just rolled over and said 'The hell with it. Israel, you're on your own.' Instead, by taking the fight to our homeland, the terrorists have made exactly the same mistake the Japanese did in 1941. And we all know how that one ended.

Posted by Chris at 09:59 PM | Comments (2)
Category: Splodeydope watch

April 21, 2001

Now At Jihad For Dummies

Looking for just the right book to complete your Jihad Studies degree (with a minor in Destroying The Infidels)? The Smoking Gun has what you need: "Military Studies in the Jihad Against the Tyrants". It shows the typical 42-gazillion ways to kill someone, using everything from crap to castor beans. And if you're running into trouble getting the information you need from your captives, have no fear! Tried and true methods in the physical torture section will get you the President's travel schedule faster than you can say "Allah u-akhbar!" The textbook is a little weak as far as psychological torture goes (I mean, "Using harsh treatment, insults, and curses to defeat his morale?" C'mon! I get worse than that at the office on a daily basis!), but who ever accused the mujahadeen of being subtle?

Thanks to Cruel Site Of The Day.

Posted by Chris at 07:45 PM | Comments (0)
Category: Splodeydope watch