July 06, 2005

And Don't Forget To Promote Rob Jackson, Too!

The folks at Rinkworks have a Book-A-Minute service for people who want to read the classics but just don't have the time. Sure, they take some artistic license, but when you're condensing War and Peace down to two sentences, you pretty much have to. They also have sections for SF/Fantasy and Bedtime books, but they don't do technothrillers.

And that's too bad, because I was all ready to submit

                        Any Book featuring Jack Ryan
                                by Tom Clancy
                       Ultra-Condensed by Chris Carter
                                  Jack Ryan
     Aw, shucks. I'm just a regular guy with a lot of money and the
     perfect family.
                               Catherine Ryan
     And my career's incredibly fulfilling.
                              The Ryan Children
     Look at us! We're incredibly cute!
                                   Bad Guy
     Here's my Master Plan to bring down the United States and increase
     my standing in the world community...
(Begins to EXECUTE Master Plan. It is succeeding. The United States is
                                  Jack Ryan
     Gosh, can I do this job?
(CLUE arrives in Washington via Federal Express.)
                       Smart People In The Government
     We've figured out what the Master Plan is...
                           Various Military Folks
     Let's foil the Master Plan...
(They do. Lots of things get BLOWN UP; some people get KILLED.)
                                   Bad Guy
     Curse you, Jack Ryan! Oops, my house just blew up.
                                  Jack Ryan
     Oh, look--I got promoted. Golly!
                                   THE END

Posted by Chris at July 6, 2005 10:23 AM

Category: General Weirdness