June 29, 2005

You Mean That Steaks Don't Magically Appear Shrink-Wrapped At My Supermarket?

White Trash Wednesday

It happens with distressing frequency - I go into Tuesday night with no idea what I'm going to write for WTW, then a local story just drops into my lap. Like this one:

ANGOLA – Two Steuben County men, one 18 and the other 20, remained in jail Tuesday, accused of killing a dairy cow and stealing its legs, supposedly to eat.

Jeremy Gale Maguire, 20, of the 1800 block of West County Road 120 North, outside Angola, and Matthew David Shaffer, 18, of the 3900 block of South County Road 700 West, outside Hudson, are charged with theft, a Class D felony punishable by six months to three years in prison. Maguire is being held in lieu of $10,000 bail, while Shaffer is being held in lieu of $5,000 bail.

“My understanding is they wanted the meat and that’s the reason they did it,” said Sgt. John Rowe, Steuben County sheriff’s detective. Rowe said he expects to arrest one or two other men.

. . .

Maguire knew that cows were kept at the farm because he formerly lived on the same street, the affidavit said. He and five others met at his house and decided “to get a cow” late Thursday.

The affidavit goes on to explain what transpired next:

The group went to a gas station to get something to drink, then piled into Shaffer’s vehicle and drove to the farm. Maguire shot the cow in the barn with a bow and arrow, which prompted the cow to ram the men, and in the process the animal tore out a fence.

The men chased the cow, and another man shot it again with a bow and arrow. The cow then fell.

Maguire used a butcher kit to remove the cow’s legs. The group then drove to a member’s house and skinned the cow’s legs, put them on ice and ate some of the meat.

Rowe said he’s not sure how the men cooked the meat. Penick alerted sheriff’s deputies at 9 a.m. Friday after seeing the dead cow lying in the pasture as other cows had escaped the fence and were running loose in the cornfield, the affidavit said.

An Angola police officer then reported that Shaffer had been at a gas station earlier, bragging about cutting the legs off a cow, according to the affidavit. Deputies arrived at Shaffer’s house, where they saw blood, flesh and what appeared to be cow hair in the back of his truck, according to the affidavit. Shaffer also had cow manure on his shoes.

I've heard from other sources that the cow in question was worth $7,000, which appears to be about $6,998 more than these Einsteins.

It's White Trash Wednesday! Take the whole tour:

Posted by Chris at June 29, 2005 07:13 AM

Category: White Trash Wednesday

Good one! The Busch Lite I'm drinking almost went down into the 'ol lungs.

Posted by: Feisty Republican Whore at June 29, 2005 08:27 PM