Dangerous Logic

What I Learned On My Summer Vacation

1. Fresh blackberries make an excellent tequila chaser.
2. If you inadvertently refer to these as your 'strappy sandals,' everybody will refer to you as 'a metrosexual,' despite all your protestations to the contrary.
3. This goes double if you wear, at the beach, an outfit that actually matches (or, indeed, can even be called 'an outfit'). Specifically, navy blue shorts with yellow trim, a yellow tank top, and a LiveStrong bracelet.
4. This goes triple if you bring five pairs of footwear to a two-week beach vacation and wear all of them by noon of day two (for those of you scoring at home, that's a regular pair of sneakers for the drive down, running shoes for running, flip-flops for negotiating the core-of-the-sun-hot sands to/from the beach from/to the deck, moccasins for schlepping about the cottage, and the aforementioned sandals for schlepping about town).
5. Gorilla Glue will satisfactorily fix a delaminated boogie board.
6. It will not, however, save you from getting ragdolled by a rogue wave and carrying home half the beach in your swimsuit.
7. I would rather be in a boat with a drink on the rocks than in the drink with a boat on the rocks [h/t: The Lucky Fisherman restaurant].
8. I can walk on water when properly motivated (i.e., when I step on something that moves underneath my feet).
9. If I maintain my normal workout schedule and diet for two weeks, but drink beer every day at the same rate that I normally do just on weekends, I will gain three pounds.
10. Your cell phone will stop working if it sits in a puddle of beer long enough.

Yes, I'm back. Now if I can only remember how to switch comments and trackbacks back on...

Posted by Chris at June 28, 2005 03:48 PM

Category: Random Vacation Thoughts