May 09, 2005

Hitch 'Em Up, Move 'Em Out

The weather was glorious for BB and Mountaineer's wedding on Saturday (alluded to here): upper 70's with sun-and-clouds and a nice breeze. flower_goddess coordinated the event, and (per usual) had everything ready to go by W-10 minutes, including as many official pictures as we (by which I mean 'I') could take without prematurely colocating bride and groom.

Unfortunately, nobody briefed the Justice of the Peace on the importance of punctuality; he arrived at W+10.

Despite the personal satisfaction that would have been derived from reading the Riot Act to a judge (not to mention scoring 2300 Irony Points), we refrained from doing so because it's hard to coordinate a wedding from the county lockup. And this guy didn't look anything like any judge I've ever known: fiftyish with flowing blonde hair and a tanned, weather-worn face that made we wonder whether he'd spent the past thirty years on a longboard off Dana Point. I half-expected him to be wearing board shorts and Tevas under his robe, and for the ceremony to go something like this:

"Sistas and brahs, we're gathered here on this most excellent Saturday afternoon to hook up BB and Mountaineer. BB, do you take Mountaineer to be your dude?"
"Awesome. Mountaineer, do you take BB to be your emma?"
"Righteous. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Kahuna and Betty. Surf's up!"
But no. It was a fairly conventional outdoor civil service; the biggest surprise was unfortunate ground conditions that forced BB to abandon her shoes and go barefoot down the aisle (and her dress was long enough that nobody saw it).

The reception was excellent but uneventful by Neighborhood standards; despite the fact that the single police officer originally present was augmented by two compatriots as the night went on, nobody got a bracelet ride (at least as far as I know). We capped things off with the mandatory drunken circle-dance sing-along with 'Friends In Low Places.'

Posted by Chris at May 9, 2005 03:16 PM

Category: Tales Of My Neighborhood