February 09, 2005

Fishing The White Trash Way

Not far from Evansville, way down in the hills and lakes of southern Indiana, lived a man named Jim-Bob who loved to fish. One day, he was hauling his catch home in the back of his pickup truck when he stopped at a traffic light next to the village constable, Billy-Bob.

"Dang, Jim-Bob," said the constable when he saw the back of the truck, "You musta been out on the lake all day to catch that much. Lookee there - that's one, two... lotsa fish."
"Naw, t'weren't more than an hour."
"Don't you be pullin' mah leg, now."
"Naw, really." Jim-Bob knew Billy-Bob loved to fish, too. "Lissen. I'll pick yuh up bright 'n early Saturday, an' I'll show yuh how I does it."

So Saturday comes, and Jim-Bob picks up Billy-Bob and takes him to a lake. They load up the boat and head out, but instead of going to any of the half-dozen spots Billy-Bob knows are good for bluegill, walleye, and whatnot, Jim-Bob drives them right out to the middle of the lake.
"Tarnation," said Billy-Bob. "You ain't gon' catch no fish here, Jim-Bob."
Jim-Bob reaches into a sack under his seat, pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it off his Winston, and throws it into the water.

BOOM! Dozens of fish float slowly to the surface. Billy-Bob is speechless for a few moments, then all the words try to come out at once.

"Jesus H. Christ, Jim-Bob, are yew crazy? That's possession of explosives - "
Jim-Bob calmly reaches back into the bag and pulls out another stick...
"- and illegal demolition - that there's a felony charge - "
...lights it off his Winston...
"- and the Conservation Officer's gon' shit hisself a pink Twinkee when he gets wind of this - "

Jim-Bob calmly hands the stick with the lit fuse to Billy-Bob. "Lissen, are yew gonna talk, or are yew gonna fish?

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Posted by Chris at February 9, 2005 09:14 AM

Category: White Trash Wednesday

Old joke.

Besides, the correct phrase for a lot of fish is a "messa fish."

There are more natural lakes in northern Indiana than southern. There are lots of "reclaimed" strip mine pits in southern Indiana that have some good fishing, though.

Yes, I originally came from Evansville (where we used to tell this joke about Kentuckians). But I rose above my humble beginnings to eventually move to ... Iowa.

Um, never mind.

Posted by: Jim of St. Grimblefig's Monastery at February 9, 2005 10:42 AM

(sigh) Yeah, I know. I think I first heard it on a Justin Wilson album, and of course he was talking about Cajuns.

Since I live in Fort Wayne, I had to make the joke about Evansville (even though it is exactly as you say - the best lakes are all north or northwest of me).

I was just using Hillbilly Counting - "one, two, lots."

Posted by: Chris of Dangerous Logic at February 9, 2005 11:21 AM