January 14, 2005

An Boff De Udda Buls, Dey Air Laffin At Hem

Last year while we were vacationing on Oak Island, we met a couple who were in the process of moving down there full time in order to open a recreational center. We're trying to get ahold of them, but we've somehow lost all their contact info. I was searching back issues of the Oak Island/Southport paper to see if there was an announcement of a recreational center opening, when I found this column about, among other things, a claim against the A & Y Railroad for damages to a bull:

The following letter is an exact copy (except the original was written in pencil) which is on file in the Claim Agent’s office of the A&Y Railroad at Greensboro, NC. The writer is Mr. Simon Green, RFD No. 1, Bear Creek, NC. The letter was written in all seriousness, with no attempt to be funny.

Mr. C. F. H. Faulkner
A & Y ralerode
Greensboro, N. C.

Yore Ralerode rund over my bul at the 20 mile pose las Wensy. He air not ded, but mout as well be and I want your sexion host repote him ded and pade fur. Hit mash off boff his seed leaving him mighty little of his bag, hit tore out a pease of skin a footsquar twixt his peker and nabul, he air totaly unqualified to be a bul and he air to mamed up too bad to be a stear and he air to dam tuf fur beef, so I want you repote him ded and pay fur.

Yors truly and so forthe
Signed – Simon Green

P.S. He wur a red bul but he stand arond lookin mity dam blue these days.

To me, the funniest thing about that letter is that 'unqualified' is spelled correctly.

Posted by Chris at January 14, 2005 08:25 PM

Category: General Weirdness
Comments

Damn, like trying to follow a conversation in a chat room! (Or a comment block my brother has written).

Posted by: 2!3054). at January 14, 2005 10:01 PM

So he codes like he plays hockey - rough and tumble and in a manner I can't quite understand?

Posted by: Chris of Dangerous Logic at January 15, 2005 09:10 AM

Yes, and hazard to every one around him (even when he codes).

Posted by: 2!3054). at January 15, 2005 02:31 PM