Today's Lexicographical Public Service


In case you haven't figured it out by now, the Bob & Tom song Cleveland Steamer by The Mad Armenians is a catalog of slang terms for perverse sexual practices. All of them are horribly misogynistic, many of them are illegal, and some of them are potentially fatal. The gang warns you not to look up any of the terms you don't already know, on the basis that you're better off without that knowledge.

Naturally, I will define them all here.

On second thought, I think I'll just give you the list and let you Google them for yourself.

  • Cleveland Steamer
  • Donkey Punch
  • Egyptian Teabag
  • Gaylord Perry
  • Rusty Trombone
  • German Knuckle Cake
  • Dirty Sanchez
  • Change Machine
  • Pasadena Mudslide
  • Roman Helmet
  • Minivan
  • Pittsburgh Platter
  • Moroccan Meatball
  • Bulgarian Gas Mask
  • Alabama Hot Pocket
  • Disappearing Panda
  • Raspberry Beret
  • San Juan Capistrano
  • Dirty Muskie
  • Snowmobile
  • Boston Pancake
  • Big Boy Combo
  • Swiss Army Knife
  • Fishhook

Update: Nicely done still-video on YouTube:


7 Comments was a quick resource for about 2/3's of the terms.

Perverse to say the least!

Through all of of this scatologia, I could look at all the definitions and shudder only mildly. That is, until the Alabama Hot Pocket. That stopped me.

you should post the actual lyrics or song itself

they have the lyrics at

here is the whole link:

he has most of the definitions, but not all.

Does anybody have a link to an MP3 file for the "Cleveland Steamer" song? I'm sure many would love to have it.

here's the link for the cleveland steamer song:

That's not the correct song played on the show. I would like to get a copy of the one heard on the show (the one with the lyrics linked above). It's currently only available to Bob & Tom subscribers. :(

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This page contains a single entry by Chris published on March 9, 2006 12:02 PM.

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