That Ain't Food. That's What Food Eats.


According to a market research group, the top Super Bowl snack is now vegetables:

The news came from market researchers, the NPD Group, who said vegetables were eaten at nearly 30 percent of all dinners on Super Bowl Sunday for the last five years, beating out potatoes, sandwiches, salads, salty snacks, and even the venerable pizza and chicken wings.
I question their methodology. I reckon they surveyed the ten Communist families who eat dinner instead of watching the Super Bowl like they're supposed to, and they found that three of them actually eat their vegetables.

Alternative explanations:

  • Vegetables are merely a Dip Delivery System.
  • Not every SB party has all the Usual Suspects (chips/salty snacks, pizza, wings, etc), but they all have some tofu-for-brains who thinks bringing a veggie tray counts as a dish to pass.
  • They count salsa as a vegetable.


I think you're on the right track with #3, salsa as a vegetable, but you haven't extrapolated enough.

Bloody Marys have tomato juice... and potato juice, for that matter. Both vegetables.

Er, tomato is a fruit, technically.

But the celery swizzle stick in it counts.

Okay, true, the current wisdom states that the tomato is a fruit; but ketchup is a vegetable according to the FDA. And my car keeps telling me that "a door is a jar."

The world's trippin' man.

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This page contains a single entry by Chris published on February 2, 2006 12:20 PM.

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