Pretty Soon All Mascots Will Be Inanimate Objects. Or Stereotypical White Guys.


The angle everybody's missing on the NCAA banning Native American nicknames/mascots - once they're all gone, PETA will demand that they ban animal nicknames, too.

And 'Fighting Irish' will still be allowed. Because they're white.

Update: Geez, that didn't take long:

Jacksonville State and the University of South Carolina have ruffled some feathers at PETA and the animal rights advocacy group is asking Myles Brand to do something about it.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to the NCAA president on Wednesday asking him to extend the recent ban on nicknames considered hostile or abusive to ethnic groups so that it would outlaw the Gamecocks.


What's next? Animal names will be next, then ANY living thing, pretty soon the only thing left will be inaminage objects.

"Today's game is between the University of Texas Microwaves vs. the Ohio State Recliners"

Oh, wait, some wacko groups would oppose microwaves, claiming they cause sterility, and recliners promote laziness. We'll be left with geometric objects.

"The Michigan State Parralelograms had a tough time against the Purdue Dodecahedrons last week."

Wait, did I really type "inaminage"? What I meant, of course, was "inanimate". I must be hungover.

Anyway, the NCAA is just the tip of the iceberg. Do we really want to see the effects of this spreading to the professional gridiron? Do we really want to see the Detroit Carebears vs. the Green Bay Smurfs meeting on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field?

I think PETA would scream bloody murder over 'Carebears,' and the Animated Character Anti-Defamation League wouldn't tolerate 'Smurfs.'

And that's not even mentioning the stadium named after a human, or that 'frozen tundra' would be offensive to temperaturally-challenged Herbal-Americans.

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This page contains a single entry by Chris published on August 12, 2005 4:31 PM.

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