Like Yelling "Free Krispy Kremes!" At A Weight Watchers Meeting


Kelly at Time to Lean has some good advice on animal sacrifices (timely, too, as I'm going back to the beach in 21 days and 20 hours (not that I'm counting or anything)):

Of course, being attacked by a shark is a relatively rare phenomenon. However, Yahoo offers up a tidbit of advice when you're near to shark-infested waters. Here's a summary if you're too lazy to read: Don't sacrifice animals in the ocean. Always helpful to remember when engaging in your day-to-day animal sacrifice activities.

We'd better do the chicken sacrifice in the hotel pool instead. I think I'd rather pay extra for filter cleaning than become shark shit.


You say "shark shit" like it's a bad thing.

Hey Chris; yes, as a purveyor of safety info, the hotel pool shan't cause you many problems. If you sneak in after hours, under the cover of darkness, you might be able to sacrifice the chicken and skip the filter charge. I know from experience.

I think I can make that work; Plan B will be to try to make it look like a seagull accident.

How do you keep the chicken from making a racket and waking up the other guests?

That's a hard one, but it's part of the art of ritualistic poolside animal sacrifice. You do the chicken dance (i.e. beaks, beaks, beaks, beaks, wings, wings, wings, wings, waddle, waddle, waddle, and clap those hands!) immediately before the sacrifice and it puts the chickie in a witchy trance. Then, with your wide-eyed and silent chickie, you go about the ceremony.

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This page contains a single entry by Chris published on May 19, 2005 12:17 PM.

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