The Shot Heard Round The Kennel


If you're a regular Bob & Tom listener, you're probably familiar with the animal conspiracy to bump us off the top of the food chain that only Tim Bedore is brave enough to write about. Nervously, I watch the news, wondering if each day will be an evolutionary Pearl Harbor. We had a bit of a scare back in early December, but things died down after that.

Or did they? Now we've got elephants enjoying a nice shish-ke-Bob in Vienna and Malaysia, and if that isn't bad enough, gun-wielding dogs:

A hunting dog stepped on a loaded shotgun, firing a blast into the arm of a Klamath Falls man, authorities said.

Matthew Harper, 27, was taken to a Klamath Falls hospital on Sunday and then transferred to Oregon Health & Science University in Portland, where he was in critical condition, the (Klamath Falls) Herald and News reported Monday.

I always thought the no-opposable-thumbs thing would be enough to keep all but the other primates at bay, but that limitation can now be worked around.

Be afraid. And make sure your dog can't get the key to your gun cabinet.


I think the hunter had been training his dog to bring down the squirrels on his own, so that the hunter could spend more time in the duct-taped barcalounger swilling Pabst Blue Ribbon.

First the apes, now the dogs.

What's next? Dolphins?

(An Onion classic).


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This page contains a single entry by Chris published on February 22, 2005 5:30 PM.

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