Anna Kournikova To Miss Rest of Season With Hyperextended Beauty

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Anna Kournikova To Miss Rest of Season With Hyperextended Beauty

The injury-plagued career of sexpot and sometime pro tennis player Anna Kournikova took another downturn today, as her physician announced that she is out for the year with hyperextended beauty. "Anna cannot continue playing tennis for the forseeable future with the shape she is in," said Dr. Raoul Gentry of the Human Aesthetics Institute in Los Angeles. "She has struggled with this condition for many years. It is a handicap that other top players, such as Lindsey Davenport and Jennifer Capriati, do not have." Among the specific symptoms cited by Gentry are an inability of male judges and linesmen to follow the ball when she is on the court; being blinded by flashbulbs every time she bends over; constant exhaustion from the abnormally high-class off-court lifestyle she is forced to lead; and her silky, golden-blond hair getting tangled in her tennis racket, interfering with her ability to strike a pose.

Although the condition is generally self-curing with age, there are drastic steps Kournikova could take to treat it now. Before she does, there are quality-of-life issues to consider. Said Gentry, "Her tennis career won't last forever, and then what would she have? You read all the time about pro football players who are basically crippled by age 40 due to sacrifices they made for the game they played. This would be no different. Anna would spend the rest of her life hideously scarred from such a treatment." When asked what kind of treatment would leave that kind of scarring, Gentry said "Basically we just carve a bunch of scars into her. That pretty much takes away the beauty."

Kournikova was in conference with her cosmetologist and could not be reached for comment.

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This page contains a single entry by Chris published on May 22, 2003 4:26 PM.

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