March 10, 2005

Pit Bulls Is Stupid

A pit bull - sorry, 'Staffordshire bull terrier,' which is pretty much the same thing (the U.S. version commonly called a pit bull is more accurately known as an 'American Staffordshire bull terrier,' or 'AmStaff,' or 'LetGoOfMeYouStupidFucker') - was so crazed by its 'chase and attack' instinct that it impaled itself sword-swallower-like on a stick just two inches shorter than it is:

Two-year-old Millie nearly choked to death on the piece of wood after it was thrown by owner John Hurst, 65.

It stuck in the ground at an angle like a javelin and the Staffordshire bull terrier ran straight on to it at full speed with her mouth open.

Shocked John and his wife Wendy, also 65, frantically tried to pull the half-inch-thick stake out.
OK, maybe 'impaled' isn't quite the right word, because technically it went straight down the canine Braniac's esophagus:
Special cameras and X-rays revealed the wood had gone straight down her throat and through the passage to her stomach — the oesophagus — MISSING her vital organs.

Mr Tyler [the vet] said: “For a dog to get a stick stuck this far down is unheard of. If it had gone out of the oesophagus it would have killed her.”

Millie escaped with just a small scratch in her belly after a delicate op to remove the stick using forceps.
See, this is why I could never be a vet. I'd be inclined to say 'Sorry, this thing is obviously too stupid to live, and the next mistake it makes could hurt a human, so I guess it'll have to die.'
She is fit again only a week after the accident in fields near the Hursts’ home in Denmead, Hants.

Wendy said: “It is amazing. The stick is nearly as big as she is. We’d have been heartbroken if she died.”
But I bet your neighborhood would have been safer.

Posted by Chris at March 10, 2005 04:26 PM

Category: Dangerous Stupidity
Comments

I think I'd have said, "Pet or meat?" And maybe hated myself a little bit for doing so.

Posted by: Sara Thomas at March 15, 2005 01:01 PM

Dog-kebab! Yes!

Posted by: Chris of Dangerous Logic at March 16, 2005 06:22 PM