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I Question The Timing

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First, Bu$hitlerburton staged 9/11 because they're evil neocons and they have to have an Enemy. Then they staged a fake terror plot in Britain because Lieberman lost to Lamont (a loss, it appears at the moment, that may not be permanent) and they needed to distract the sheeple from that. But people were beginning to wonder, so they staged a another fake terror false alarm to cover that, and since people of course immediately questioned that one, they staged another false alarm to cover it, but it didn't even complete its first run on the neocon-pwned media before it came into question.

Bu$hitlerburton knew that not even Osama's head on a plate (which, btw, has been in a freezer in the basement of PNAC headquarters since November of 2001) would be a sufficient distraction at this point, so they went all-in, Nuclear Final Option.

They rolled out Jon-Benet Ramsey's killer.

Microsoft .WORLD Development Proceeding On Schedule


So Bill Gates is donating another gazillion dollars to immunize poor kids. Given what we already know about Microsoft, the question you have to ask now is "What will they be immunizing them with?"

What, You Didn't Already Know That?

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This WaPo story talks about how the Federal Government activated an 'everybody scatter!' dispersal plan on 9/11 to ensure the Government would continue to function (at least as well as it ever does) if the terrorist attacks were a prelude to something bigger. Buried at the end of the article was this little gem:

The Washington Post reported in 2002 that as part of the plan, Bush has dispatched a shadow government of about 100 senior civilian managers to live and work secretly outside Washington. These officials have been rotating in and out of one of two fortified locations along the East Coast, according to three officials with firsthand knowledge, the story said.
Well, that ought to give the conspiracists something to get their panties in a bunch.

Mind Control Maintenance Run


Apparently the New World Order Managing Committee is displeased with what's going on here in the Fort, because they're sending some black helicopters our way:

American Electric Power Inc. plans to inspect its high-voltage lines by helicopter this week.

The aerial patrols through Indiana, Michigan and Ohio will take six weeks and are to begin Monday in Lima, Ohio. Patrols over Fort Wayne will run from April 12 to April 18 and will include Van Wert and Paulding counties in Ohio.

Patrols will be completed between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. six days a week, excluding Easter weekend, beginning April 9.

AEP checks the lines to maintain the transmission system on a semiannual basis.

The helicopters will travel at about 45 knots and fly between 50 and 100 feet above the transmission lines.
Lies, lies, all lies! This is just their cover story so they can have helicopters fly low and slow without alarming anyone! They'll undoubtedly be using portable mind control lasers to fix whatever they think might be broken!

What? The article didn't say anything about the helicopters being black? Of course not! That proves they are black!

Last week I made a brief reference to the Arab world's general refusal to accept that the Americans could have gotten their hero (their Nasser v2.0, if you will) without Treachery being involved ("Mr. bin-Kettle? Mr. al-Pot on line one for you"). I can't decide whether I think this is due to a general 'blame everybody else' mindset or to treachery being what they seem to understand best. When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail; when all you have is a poisoned stiletto, you approach everybody from behind. But I digress. What I'm trying to get to is that the yarn-spinners are now out in force. MEMRI has compiled a collection of some of the better ones.

First, we have 'The Americans Have Had Him All Along:'

"The Saudi daily Al-Riyadh believes that it is evident that there was a conspiracy. It wrote: ' . . . it can be thought that Saddam was in the hands of the Americans, and that his public exposure was a show produced with the aim of neutralizing the explosive situation, so that it would be possible to ease the emotional and military pressure by the American forces and give new momentum to the American president just when he needs this kind of event . . ..'"
Never mind that there's really no 'explosive situation' that needed to be neutralized at the time. Now if, say, somebody had broken a story that the President was getting knobbers from an intern in the Oval Office, now that would be an explosive situation. But that'd never, ever happen, would it?

Next, 'Never Ever Trust An Ex-Wife:'

"[Saudi daily newspaper] Okaz's theory is allegedly supported by an interview with [Saddam's second wife] Samira Al-Shahbanar which fortuitously appeared in the Sunday Times of London on December 14 and appeared the subsequent day in the London-based Arabic daily Al-Sharq Al-Awsat . [6] According to Al-Shabandar, Saddam has been in touch with her via phone approximately once per week. Okaz suspects that the conversations were tapped by the U.S. intelligence, and said that the last conversation was prolonged by Al-Shahbandar to give the Americans added time to pinpoint Saddam's hiding place. [7]"
And the Wahabbists are saying, "See, S-Dog, this is why you got to keep your bitches in line!" I know, I know, technically she's the second of his four wives, but having two more wives added after you kinda has to make you feel a little like an ex-wife. Seriously, though, it sure looked like the Mossad figured out Samira's secret identity and actual location (apparently she's living in Lebanon under the Ba'athist version of the Witness Protection Program) and tapped her phone. No treachery on her part required.

How about 'The U.S. Owns Saddam?'

"An editorial in the Iraqi daily Al-Shira' titled: "The Servant has Fallen in the Master's Cage" surveys Saddam's policies from 1963 until his capture, and suggests that he implemented these policies at the behest of his American masters. . ..

'The last service provided by this "super servant" was to surrender as 'a free service to America, and Bush in particular, in disgraceful pictures that would be used as stickers in the election campaign….'"
Now Saddam's the fall guy for everything, including, it would appear, parachute pants, New Coke, Vanilla Ice, the Macarena, and Magic Johnson's talk show! Damn, not even we hate him that much! One other thing - if I were staging Saddam's capture for election reasons, I'd do it on the first day of the Democratic convention.

But the big one, the one that makes the rest of the tinfoil-hat-brigade look meekly down and mumble "Ah, I don't know. Dude is just out there." is this beauty, courtesy of Abd Al-Bari Atwan, the Editor-in-Chief of the London-based Arabic daily Al-Quds Al-Arabi:

"First, the pictures distributed by the Americans about Saddam's hideout show a palm tree behind the soldier who uncovered the hole where Saddam was hiding. The palm tree carried a cluster of pre-ripened yellow dates, which might suggest that Saddam was arrested at least three months earlier, because dates ripen in the summer months when they turn into their natural black or brown color. Atwan concludes that the arrest was "a staged show and the place of arrest [was] completely elsewhere."
Anybody else read this and think 'The moonwalk pictures were faked because you can't see stars in the background?" Like the lack of stars, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this:
"An agricultural expert told the London-based Arabic daily Al-Sharq Al-Awsat that there are some types of dates which mature in the winter months after rainfalls (December 17, 2003)."
"Second, if there were two rooms connected with the hole in which Saddam was captured, what explains the fact, asks Atwan, that Saddam 'appeared filthy and looked like a man who did not bathe in weeks, if not in months.'"
Because he just got there after a long taxi ride! The taxi was right there in the yard - for all we know, the meter was still running!
"Third, statements about Saddam's alleged cooperation were contradictory. Ambassador Paul Bremer said that Saddam was cooperating, while Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said that he was not."
I'm pretty sure that Bremer was referring to Saddam cooperating with his 'booking,' while Rumsfeld was referring to him not cooperating with his interrogation.
"Fourth, Atwan alleges that there were bruises on Saddam's face and over his brow. In addition, Saddam behaved like a robot while he was being examined. The videos showed Saddam touching his cheeks but Atwan was able to surmise that Saddam was probing his face "as if he just woken up from coma.""
There are reports that Saddam spit at one of the soldiers who captured him and got buttstroked for his trouble. He was probably checking to see if he still had all his teeth. I'm OK with that.
"This led Atwan to suggest that the probing may be due to the use of nerve gas while Saddam's hideout was being raided, not unlike the gas used by the Russians against the Chechen rebels who took over the Bolshoi Palace [theatre] and which paralyzed them for hours. The alleged use of gas may explain why Saddam did not resist, and hence there is a need for "impartial experts…to analyze the dirt in the hideout and the surrounding area to reveal the truth.""
Why am I thinking that an 'impartial expert' wouldn't be satisfactory to Atwan and vice versa? And speaking of Atwan:
"Abd Al-Bari Atwan has been a consistent and vocal supporter of Saddam's regime as well as of what he still refers to as "Sheikh" [a religious leader] Osama bin Laden. The relationship between Atwan's newspaper and its sources of funding are not known. What is known for certain is that his newspaper, which is a commercial paper, does not accept advertisements, and questions have always been raised in the Arab press as to how a paper with a relatively small circulation can afford offices in a big building in London without accepting advertisements. "
The Palestinian splodeydopes' OPTEMPO dropped significantly after we shut off the Saddam money spigot; it'll be interesting to see what happens to Atwan's rag.

The conspiracy head cases have grabbed onto another 'sign': currency origami that explains, well, I don't know exactly, but it all has to do with September 11. Actually, the page is a spoof on it; the original (serious?) link is here.

And to think that back when I was a kid, it was a really cool thing to fold a dollar bill so that George's head looked like a mushroom...

Aw, Rats!


Sure, the mind control paranoiacs probably have a screw loose, but we're closer to it than you think.

Out: Cement overshoes. In: Staged plane crashes

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Today is the sixth anniversary of the plane crash that killed former Commerce Secretary Ron Brown and thirty-some others, and many suspicious questions remain unanswered. I forget where I originally got this version of the story. I don't think any of it played out like the conspiracy theorists say, but with Clinton you never know...

And speaking of conspiracies, did Web satirist Karl Mueller (pseudonym: Gus) predict September 11 by accident (read paragraph 6, then check the article date)?

Tinfoil Hats Are So Last Season...

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Saw an interesting show on MSNBC yesterday. MSNBC Investigates: Back From The Dead featured near-death experiences and possible explanations, both scientific and spiritual. The part that got my attention was a segment on experiments conducted by psychologist Dr. Michael Persinger at Laurentian University in Sudbury, Ontario. Apparently, the presence of certain electromagnetic fields near the brain can induce basically all the things normally associated with a near-death experience: floating, bright light, tunnel vision, childhood memories, deific/satanic visions, the whole bit. If a small college in Canada can come up with this, imagine what the uncounted resources of the Black Helicopter folks can accomplish. It's only a matter of time before the Orbital Mind Control Lasers become a reality. As usual, the conspiracy theorists are way ahead of me on this one, as they are certain the concept has long since been weaponized. Not to worry, though. The tinfoil hat crowd has you, um, covered. This year's de rigueur fashion in Personal Electromagnetic Protection is a modified water polo cap.

Quick take, from LangaList: Man, those MIT folks have taken the fight against dictionary password attacks to a whole new level.

It Was President Clinton, On The Mountain, With The Airplane...

Or was it the Green Berets, on the airplane, with the pistol? Or was it Chinese Intelligence, at 35,000 feet, with a thermite bomb? Step right up and offer your theory in this high-stakes game of Clue, with former Commerce Secretary Ron Brown playing the role of Mr. Boddy. Five years ago yesterday, the VIP aircraft carrying Brown and 34 others crashed into a mountainside near Dubrovnik, Croatia, and all 35 ended up dead. Note that I didn't say the crash killed them all; that's because there's some dispute over exactly what transpired, and why. I have one version on my own web site; there's another that goes several steps beyond those claims, and yet another that blames the Chinese!


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