Recently in Roadgeekery Category

Did you settle for the Smart fortwo passion...

2008 smart fortwo passion coupe

...because you couldn't justify the extra $26,000 for the Smart Crossblade Limited?

2003 smart fortwo Crossblade limited edition

Well, don't despair, because if you bought one of the 43 fortwos recalled for defective paint, you could end up with a Crossblade at any moment:

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), the faulty paint was applied to the Smart’s chassis and Tridion safety cell framework. Apparently, the paint is a delaminating risk, and if the paint comes apart near the portion where the windshield and roof are adhesive-mounted, they could separate from the rest of the car [emphasis added]. According to NHTSA, "This could cause a crash if the roof or windshield separated from the vehicle while in motion.”

New plan:

  1. Buy a fortwo passion coupe.
  2. Borrow a pressure washer.
  3. Apply pressure washer to windshield/roof adhesion areas until...
  4. ...you can sell the resulting "Krossblade" on eBay for $39k.

[first derivative H/T AutoblogGreen]

Tags:

Status Quo + Your Highway Dollars = Status Quo

| No Comments

There's this three-way stop just down the road from my house (Auburn @ Cook, for you locals) where one of the legs immediately transitions to a bridge over I-69. It is a major bottleneck at morning rush hour, with traffic backed up more than a quarter mile in both directions of Auburn Road, as people are trying to get to the junior high and high schools on Cook. It's a moderate bottleneck at afternoon rush hour, with dozens of cars lined up on Cook trying to turn either way onto Auburn.

Before: 2-lane bridge, 3-way stop with one lane in each direction.

Do: Destroy bridge, cutting off easy access to east Fort Wayne for thousands of people and gerhosing the traffic patterns of thousands more. Spend three months rebuilding the bridge higher. As an exclamation point, close the whole intersection for two weeks at the end to rebuild it, essentially making Auburn Road a mile-long cul-de-sac.

After: 2-lane bridge, 3-way stop with one lane in each direction.

...Six Times Is Just A Pain In The Ass

| No Comments

[Title reference: "Once is an accident, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action."]

When going home from work here at the Imperialist Capitalist Running Pig-Dog Military Industrial Complex, the first turn after I leave the lot is a left at a light that has the green arrow for about ten seconds every three minutes (and a red for the ENTIRE rest of the cycle).

Six times in a row over the past several days, I've turned out of the lot to see that arrow mocking me, because it takes me ten seconds to get to the intersection.

I have really got to invest in a traffic light controller and a wireless box for my car.

I Love My New Cameraphone

| 5 Comments

The SLVR I won from Pepsi is my first phone with a camera, and it got its first use in anger yesterday.

The drugstore I frequent has two drive-through windows. The approach to those lanes is two cars wide, but is not signed or striped as two separate lanes. What a lot of people do when they approach with both windows in use but no other cars waiting is to hedge their bets, straddling the (imaginary) center line and pulling into the first window that opens up. If, by chance, somebody else pulls up before either window opens, local etiquette holds that the hedger has to then pick a lane, and the new arrival gets the other lane.

But this bluetooth-headset-wearing hedger in a tan Camry decided that 4:00PM was a good time to ignore that convention, placing himself perfectly so there wasn't really enough room to go around him on either side (which I would have done anyway if I'd had my '93 Nissan instead of my wife's larger (and much nicer) car). He even yelled at some poor lady who tried to move up next to him.

So, Mr. Hedger,



you win Jackass Of The Day!

(full disclosure: runner-up is me, because I was still fuming over it fifteen minutes later, and I think I stole a purple Blazer's turn at a 4-way stop on the way home)

And You Can't Back Up While In One, Either!

| 2 Comments

It's the beginning of the fall semester here at IPFW, all the new freshmen are clogging up my campus, and none of them knows how to drive in a roundabout. This should be mandatory reading for any incoming freshman.

One more time, people:

  • You cannot turn left into a roundabout.
  • You cannot turn left into a roundabout!
  • YOU CANNOT TURN LEFT INTO A ROUNDABOUT!

OK, that was three more times. Sorry.

I can't wait until the less motivated half of the freshman class quits.

This is the only bridge off Oak Island.  So why do they need this 'Hurricane Evacuation Route' sign?

The picture quality isn't the greatest. The sign says 'Hurricane Evacuation Route.'

AND DON'T THINK I AIN'T WATCHING!

| 1 Comment

Also seen on the drive home yesterday, especially in the first two hours: about fifty minivans with cartop carriers. Of course, they're all headed for my island (in my mind, with apologies to James Taylor), so I have this Public Service Announcement for them:

YOU SONS-A-BITCHES BETTER TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY BEACH, BECAUSE I'M COMING BACK NEXT YEAR AND IF IT ISN'T SQUARED AWAY, I WILL PERSONALLY FUCK YOU UP!

Pages

Powered by Movable Type 4.34-en

About this Archive

This page is an archive of recent entries in the Roadgeekery category.

Remark Of The Day is the previous category.

Splodeydope watch is the next category.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.