Recently in Bob & Tom Category

Normally, I really enjoy it when Bill Scheft comes on Bob & Tom. However, he was pretty focussed on talking about the writers' strike (he's the 'strike captain' among the Letterman show writers), which turned Tuesday's appearance into 24 minutes of laugh-free radio(*). If I wanted to watch Meet The Press, I'd roll out of the rack before one on Sundays. Of course, that would require me to radically change how I spend my Saturday nights, which ain't gonna happen.

By the way - American Gladiators (re)premiered earlier this week, and 12 million people watched. If I were in the writers' guild, this would scare the hell out of me.

(*) OK, I laughed twice. But that's still way below average.


In-Jokes Explained, #1

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Bob & Tom often employ a kind of forbidden-joke shorthand. They regularly throw out punchlines that aren't themselves dirty, but, if combined with the rest of the corresponding joke, would bring the FCC down on them like the Hand Of God (or at least the Hand Of God-Botherers).

For the whole joke behind "Where do you think they held the auction?" go here. For "Hey, lady, your sign fell down," go here.

No charge. Just another public service I'm happy to provide.


A Real Whiz-Bang Home Remedy

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White Trash Wednesday

You've heard of the expression "Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining?" How about "Don't piss in my ear and tell me I've got an infection?" Listen to this clip from hour 1 of last Tuesday's Bob & Tom.

It's White Trash Wednesday! Take the whole tour via the WTW blogroll on my sidebar.


Can I get a translator for this clip from an interview with Ozzy Osbourne on Monday's show? I don't speak Burnout.


Name That Hymn


Late in hour 3 of yesterday's Bob & Tom show, the gang was discussing religious music. Kristi had just read a story about some stone carvings in an Edinburgh church that may turn out to have been encoded music. As an aside - thanks to Fark, I will now forever think of her as one commenter referred to her: "the news reader who can't read," because now I notice that she trips over words A LOT. True to form here, she pronounces 'Edinburgh' to rhyme with 'Pittsburgh.' But I digress.

Anyway, Tom opines that a lot of religous music is a real downer, and Bob tries to cue up a song that doesn't quite work. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even the song he was trying to play. Listen to this clip and see if you can A) Name That Tune, and B) Name The Tune Bob Was Going For. I think I know both.


Also on yesterday's show, there was a news story about a bank in Beruit that is starting to offer loans for plastic surgery. Now, Kristi takes a LOT of abuse on the show, and she's a really good sport about it, but when the guys start razzing her about maybe needing plastic surgery herself, she finally fires back. Check out more than a second of stunned silence when she sticks it right between Chick's ribs.

I think my favorite part of that exchange may be where Tom immediately throws himself under the bus to try to distract from what just happened.


A listener of Monday's Bob & Tom - who apparently pays even closer attention than I do - took the opportunity of the gang discussing Chick's 2005, um, rack-mounting, to point out that Tom predicted it almost a year in advance. The listener quoted the show date (August 24, 2004), and the gang replayed the relevant conversation from that day. Afterwards, they said this:

TOM GRISWOLD: ...according to this, on the 5th of July, 11 months after we had this discussion, the 5th of July, 2005, Chick in fact did fall through the ceiling from the attic into his wife's bathroom.

KRISTI LEE: Right. You guys were remodeling her bathroom, remember?

TOM: Not only, Kristi, did I luck into predicting it would happen,


CHICK MCGEE: You picked the right room

TOM: I picked the right room, AND the right injury, 'cause at the end there -


TOM: - I said "Chick's gonna fall and rack his 'nads" and you did just that. As you've said many times, your testicles broke your fall.

If you listen closely, you can hear Tom doing the 'I'm Right' dance in his head. Note that he takes credit for predicting everything involved, including that Chick would rack himself. Here's the original conversation from August 2004. Who really predicted that Chick would suffer what Heywood would call 'trauma to the groin?'


And A Whole Lot Of What?


Listen very carefully to this clip from hour 4 of Friday's show, right after Bob says "Y'know, there's gonna be some fightin'."

It's a bit of a train wreck, as the gang and guest Eric Shorts are all simultaneously trying to tell this old joke.

Let's just say that it sounds like Shorts skips ahead a bit.


Something's weird about the MP3s of yesterday's Bob & Tom show - the last segment of the last hour was really slowed down. Whether this was something on Premiere's end, or some weirdness when I downloaded it, I don't know, but it had the effect of lowering everybody's vocal range - and it made Kristi sound a LOT like Jim Gaffigan!

Kristi extolling the benefits of her Sleep Number bed (MP3, 0:05)


Late in hour 1 of Friday's Bob & Tom, the gang was discussing whether each of them could fit their fist in their mouth. The conversation descended quickly from there:

CHICK MCGEE: Can you put a cue ball in your mouth? You shoot pool without a stick with your mouth?

KRISTI LEE: No! God, no! What is wrong with you people?

CHICK: (makes spitting noise) Eight ball, corner pocket. All right, what about, uh, not using your mouth? Using something else?

TOM GRISWOLD: Let's move on now. Um, we were also, uh . . .

CHICK: That's one time Kristi and I bonded; we saw that same movie.

KRISTI: Oh, my God.

BOB KEVOIAN: I saw a movie with a woman, she was a pitching machine.

TOM: This all sounds very exciting.

CHICK: She could really bring the heat!

But they for some inexplicable reason stopped one step short of the gutter. I would have bet cash money that Bob was about to say

But she got thrown out of every game - she threw nothing but spitballs!



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This page is an archive of recent entries in the Bob & Tom category.

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