July 2007 Archives

So I'm watching the Train Wreck de France, and one of their recurring commercials is for Bridgestone Tires' new 'run-flat' thingamajig. It shows some guy in a nice BMW screaming down the autobahn when he runs over a board with a four-inch nail in it. Blah blah blah, yada yada yada, and the guy's glad he's got new Bridgestone run-flats which allow him to (per the small print) "drive at 50mph or less for 50 miles or less."

How the commercial ended: The guy continues screaming down the autobahn. Cue the world's worst commercial music (think the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on LSD trying to sing, oh, I don't know, some really teeth-grating aria).

How the commercial should have ended: The guy continues screaming down the autobahn... until his overstressed run-flat tire fails spectacularly, sending him into a bridge abutment at 200kph.


Life Imitates How I Met Your Mother


Episode 2ALH05, Aldrin's Justice:

Ted's Office

The firm is about to unveil a design for a skyscraper to a big client, and Druthers is very excited about it. Druthers unveils it to the client, and the client automatically announces that the building is a penis. Everybody in the office knows it looks like a penis but Druthers, who did not see it at all. The client refuses to build a penis, and asks for other ideas. Druthers doesn't have any ready. The client is anger, and decides to leave. Ted stops him, and shows him his design.

San Diego, last week:

SAN DIEGO — The developer said his design for a 40-story resident tower proposed as a gateway to downtown San Diego looks like a flower. A city consultant said it looks like a giant phallus.

"With its rounded forms and swelling of the uppermost floors...this building structure is very phallic," wrote Gwynne Pugh, a Santa Monica architect hired by the downtown redevelopment agency to review building designs.

Update: Deidre Woodward of Luxist has much more, including a picture so you can decide for yourself.


White Trash Mother Of The Year

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White Trash Wednesday

That's right, folks, the adventures of 'Cletus' and 'Jolene' are back after a long layoff. Today's story comes from just down the road in Indy:

An Indianapolis mother says she did neglect her two children. Police found Nancy Dyer's three-year old son wandering I-465 on Dec. 30. At her trial Monday morning Dyer's attorneys and the prosecuting attorney agreed on a plea deal.
. . .
State police found her three-year-old son Damon wandering I-465 on Dec. 30. Police found Dyer in her apartment with her two-year-old daughter who had been eating food from the trash. Dyer told the judge she was asleep at the time.

Dyer admitted her guilt to a similar incident when apartment complex employees found that same three-year-old wandering in the parking lot just two days before they found him on the highway.
Kid's got the travelin' jones, no doubt about that. Geez, lady, buy a better lock!

One other thing - she has a three-year-old, a two-year-old, she's pregnant now, and

"I don't know that any time being served is going to solve anything for her," said [Dyer's father Chuck] Lindgren, 65. "I'd rather her go into some kind of program to enhance her parenting skills."

. . .

Her newborn will be her sixth child. Lindgren adopted a son who now is 15, and 11- and 13-year-old daughters live with their father in Florida.
I don't think 'parenting skills' will help. She's had five tries to get it right, and it doesn't look like she's figured it out yet.

It's White Trash Wednesday! Take the whole tour via the WTW blogroll on my sidebar.


It isn't exactly 'cut and run,' but it's definitely 'run and hide':

Also being drafted are several Republican-backed proposals that would force a new course in Iraq, including one by Sens. Susan Collins, R-Maine, and Ben Nelson, D-Neb., that would require U.S. troops to abandon combat missions. Collins and Nelson say their binding amendment would order the U.S. mission to focus on training the Iraqi security forces, targeting al-Qaida members and protecting Iraq's borders. [emphasis added]

And since they'd be banned from combat missions, if the ever actually found some terrorists, (paraphrasing Aliens), "What are they supposed to use, harsh language?"


On the one hand, Newsday said:

Organizers said Live Earth was the largest musical event ever held, as well as the biggest green event of any kind. [emphasis added]

On the other hand, ABC said

Live Earth's goal was to raise awareness and fight global warming. But with millions of fans attending nine shows across the world and generating more than 1,000 tons of garbage, the green concert has received mixed reviews.

This morning, people are wondering if a concert aimed at raising global awareness actually caused more global damage. One estimate said 100,000 trees needed to be planted to offset the carbon emissions released during the 24-hour event.
and dose.ca added
In Britain, tabloid News of the World also pointed out the hypocrisy of some performers, including Madonna, who has nine houses, a fleet of cars and a private jet, which makes her carbon footprint an estimated 100 times larger than the average Briton's.

So let's keep those 'awareness' concerts coming. At the rate they're going, by Live Earth V, we can have seaside concerts from Las Vegas, Atlanta, and Paris!


Today's Sign I'm Going To Hell

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On the bulletin board in the break area at work, there's a flyer for an OCD support group. It says they meet Tuesdays at 8:00 PM.

The first thing I thought of when I saw that was "..and again at 8:03, and again at 8:06, and again and again and again until we get it juuuuuuuust right."


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