April 2007 Archives


Japanese robotics expert Hiroshi Ishiguro has unveiled a robot doppelganger of himself.

Germinoid is a humanoid robot designed in his creator's image, down to the tiniest of details.

It sits on a chair and gazes around the room in a very human-like fashion, just like its creator.
There's some sloppy writing for you - the implication of the last sentence is that Ishiguro gazes around the room in a very human-like fashion. But I digress.

I saw this picture:

And immediately thought of this guy:

And I don't know which scares me more.


Also on yesterday's show, there was a news story about a bank in Beruit that is starting to offer loans for plastic surgery. Now, Kristi takes a LOT of abuse on the show, and she's a really good sport about it, but when the guys start razzing her about maybe needing plastic surgery herself, she finally fires back. Check out more than a second of stunned silence when she sticks it right between Chick's ribs.

I think my favorite part of that exchange may be where Tom immediately throws himself under the bus to try to distract from what just happened.


White Trash Wednesday

(I may be a week between entry days, but at least I'm getting WTW out on time.) I've heard of jonesing for a smoke, but this is ridiculous:

A north Idaho man accused of ramming his truck into his estranged wife's home Monday after unsuccessfully demanding that she bring him a cigarette has been arrested, police said. No one was injured.

. . .

Caroline Marienau, who said she's in the process of getting a divorce, said Eric Marienau parked his full-size Chevrolet Silverado pickup truck next to her house about 7 a.m., police said.

He went to the home's fence and began shouting for her to bring him a cigarette, Caroline Marienau told police. She said he began pounding on her front door, telling her if she didn't come outside with a cigarette that he would return with his truck and ram her house.

"Eric returned a minute later and rammed the front of the house near the garage area at a high rate of speed. He then backed up and rammed the front of the house at least two more times," Police Sgt. Christie Wood said. "The impact forced a 1993 Ford Ranger that was parked inside the garage to be propelled approximately four feet through a wall into the interior of the bedroom."
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Mr. Marienau has had previous interactions with the law-enforcement community:
Marienau has a lengthy criminal record, which seem to stem from when he shot himself in the head in 1977. Court records show he has a bullet lodged behind his right eye. In 2000, he was arrested for . . .
Place your bets, place your bets!

The book is now closed. The winning answers are...

. . . possession of meth and trafficking meth. In 1996, he was charged with three counts of felony forgery and two counts of fraud.

'Fraud' pays 3-to-1, 'Forgery' pays 2.5-to-1, and 'Meth' pays 0.2-to-1. The Fraud-Forgery-Meth trifecta pays 38-to-1.

It's White Trash Wednesday! Take the whole tour via the WTW blogroll on my sidebar.


A listener of Monday's Bob & Tom - who apparently pays even closer attention than I do - took the opportunity of the gang discussing Chick's 2005, um, rack-mounting, to point out that Tom predicted it almost a year in advance. The listener quoted the show date (August 24, 2004), and the gang replayed the relevant conversation from that day. Afterwards, they said this:

TOM GRISWOLD: ...according to this, on the 5th of July, 11 months after we had this discussion, the 5th of July, 2005, Chick in fact did fall through the ceiling from the attic into his wife's bathroom.

KRISTI LEE: Right. You guys were remodeling her bathroom, remember?

TOM: Not only, Kristi, did I luck into predicting it would happen,


CHICK MCGEE: You picked the right room

TOM: I picked the right room, AND the right injury, 'cause at the end there -


TOM: - I said "Chick's gonna fall and rack his 'nads" and you did just that. As you've said many times, your testicles broke your fall.

If you listen closely, you can hear Tom doing the 'I'm Right' dance in his head. Note that he takes credit for predicting everything involved, including that Chick would rack himself. Here's the original conversation from August 2004. Who really predicted that Chick would suffer what Heywood would call 'trauma to the groin?'


White Trash Wednesday

Courtesy of "Larry King" (voiced by, I think, Steve Salge) on yesterday's Bob & Tom:

Hey, you ever wonder if you qualify as White Trash? Here's a quick way to find out - if your favorite summer memory involves a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a hot makeout session with your step-niece in an above-ground pool, then welcome to White Trashville, population You, man.

Bonus - if you bought the pool with a disability check the factory gave you after you cut off a finger with a band saw while making a bong holder for your Camaro(*)!

(*) He actually said something that sounded like 'ca-MARE-u,' but remember that the gang often rags him about needing to use a larger font when he types up his bits. Maybe he's talking about a Subaru with an aero kit designed to look like a Z28. That'd be cool. Or dorky. Maybe both.

It's White Trash Wednesday! Take the whole tour via the WTW blogroll on my sidebar.


An offhand reference at MGoBlog a couple of weeks ago pointed me to icanhascheezburger.com, a site for animal pictures (mostly cats) with funny captions (mostly written in some mutant form of MMORPG/IM-speak). Most of them are pretty funny, some are hilarious, and some just absolutely kill me (especially the ongoing saga of the bucket (work bottom-to-top and back-to-front to get the whole story)). The site lets you submit your own 'lolcats' pictures, and even gives you a quick HOWTO do your own.

Naturally, I've done a few, and although none got selected for publication at ICHC, one of the perks of having a blog is that you don't really have to accept rejection. Pix after the break (and when you're done here, go look at Chess's).

So PBS ran this show last night called Operation Homecoming, a documentary featuring first-hand accounts of American troops who have fought in Southwest Asia.

Here's a print ad for the show, sponsored by a (cough) nameless American company:

What's wrong with this picture?

[H/T DefenseTech, where they give you the answer]

Not Exactly The Office Lexicon, But Whatever

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mangum: (v.) To falsely accuse someone of a heinous crime with the malicious intent to destroy that person's life.

Idea from John Podhoretz.


And speaking of 'Asshole,' we played that game at my house last Friday for the first time in a long time. It's a 'get rid of your cards and drink' game, slightly (SLIGHTLY) similar to The Great Dalmuti, where the order you get rid of your cards in one round determines your rank in the next. First one out is President, second is Vice President, all the way down through various respectful, semi-respectful, and insulting titles down to the last guy, who is the Asshole.

One of the things that makes this a 'hood game is that the President gets to make a rule, the violation of which results in the offender having to drink. We have a variety of standard rules, including one we call the 'DA' rule (no first names AND no swearing), named after DA who can be counted on to do this at least once per hand:
Anybody: "Whose turn is it?"
DA: "Joe's."
Anybody: "No first names. Drink one."
DA: "Dammit!"
Everybody: "No swearing. Drink two."

I had gotten people to sprain their tongues once by making the rule "No saying 'I,' 'me,' or 'you,' but I didn't go far enough. Lawn-boy's wife (who, now that I check my notes, never got her own nickname - I'll have to fix that), when 'elected,' made the rule "No pronouns."

I have never drank so much in a game of Asshole, ever. And neither had anybody else. We were all so accustomed to using pronouns instead of names that we all sounded like Bizarro Superman at the end. It only got worse when she got re-elected and got to add another rule. NOW she threw in "no first names," because by then we had kind of half adapted to using first names instead of pronouns.

Nobody remembers a whole lot about how the game went after that.

Y Not Bubba? 'Cuz It Be Dam Stoopid!

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It's a free country - that's why you've got the right to change your name, and why I have the right to laugh at you when you change it to something stupid:

A southeast New Mexico man has changed his name to Y Not Bubba, and why not?

According to the easy-going truck driver, at birth he was given up for adoption and has spent the next 14 years in and out of foster care, so he decided he wanted a new name, for a new future.

. . .

"Why not Bubba? Everybody knows me as Bubba, so why not Bubba, and that's kind of how the name stuck," he said.
By that logic, I should probably change my name to 'Asshole.'

White Trash Wednesday

After a brief flirtation with being on time, White Trash Wednesday returns to Thursdays with a double feature. First up - the latest chapter in the Anna Nicole Smith saga.

You may have noticed that I've pretty much left Anna Nicole alone on WTW. That's because, as I have to admit, I've got a bit of a soft spot for her. Her estranged mother, Virgie Arthur, on the other hand, is a completely different story. I trust her about three percent more than I do Howard K. Stern (which puts my trust level riiiiight around zero percent).

So I don't know which part of this clip from Wednesday's Bob & Tom show was my favorite:

  • Tom referring to her as "Fat, ignorant, stupid - she's got it all!"
  • Vergie pretending to care about the baby in any context other than the money, or
  • Tom finishing up by saying "This is the woman who the mother of the child never wanted to see again."

It's White Trash Wednesday! Take the whole tour via the WTW blogroll on my sidebar.


...Six Times Is Just A Pain In The Ass

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[Title reference: "Once is an accident, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action."]

When going home from work here at the Imperialist Capitalist Running Pig-Dog Military Industrial Complex, the first turn after I leave the lot is a left at a light that has the green arrow for about ten seconds every three minutes (and a red for the ENTIRE rest of the cycle).

Six times in a row over the past several days, I've turned out of the lot to see that arrow mocking me, because it takes me ten seconds to get to the intersection.

I have really got to invest in a traffic light controller and a wireless box for my car.

Congratulations To The MSU Hockey Team!


I was still at Michigan State when they won their last NCAA Hockey championship in 1986. Since their previous championship was 1966, it seems like they were due again, and damned if they didn't come through, beating heavily-favored Boston College 3-1.

Brian Boyle's deflected goal at 6:50 of the second-period put BC on top. It looked like Boyle would get the backbreaker early in the third on a two-on-one, but MSU goalie Jeff Berg jumped the pass, slid across the crease, and robbed him with a top-notch glove save. This seemed to put the spark back into the MSU team, and a few minutes later, Tim Kennedy caught Boyle cheating up after a neutral zone faceoff, blowing by him and beating Cory Schneider up high to tie the game.

It looked like both teams were getting ready for overtime in the last minute, but MSU picked up a turnover at their own blue line and came back with a three-on-one. Although Justin Abdelkader clanged his first shot off the crossbar, MSU kept the pressure on. Abdelkader redeemed himself on a one-timer off a nifty feed from Kennedy behind the net, scoring the game winner with 18.9 seconds to go. Chris Mueller added an empty-netter with under two seconds remaining to finish the scoring.

Although no couches were burned last time MSU won the hockey title, times have changed, so you never know. YouTubage after the break.

Crankretariat Coming Up Hard On The Outside

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White Trash Wednesday

I can't decide whether the moral of this story should be "Don't bring a horse to a demolition derby" or "Don't bring a car to a horse race:"

An Alabama woman was arrested for riding a horse while under the influence of a controlled substance and using the animal to ram a police car.

Sylvania police arrested 40-year-old Melissa Byrum York around midnight Sunday. She was charged with seven counts that included DUI, animal cruelty and second-degree assault.

John Seals, the arresting officer, said he had to get back in his car and follow York after she allegedly coaxed the horse into a trot. Seals pulled his car in front of the horse to try to get her to stop. She allegedly rammed the horse into the car and went about 50 more yards and tried to jump off, but York caught her foot in the stirrups.

And the punch line?

Police said they also seized a small amount of marijuana, some crystal methamphetamine and several pills.

It's White Trash Wednesday! Take the whole tour via the WTW blogroll on my sidebar.


Unless You See One Holding A Gun, Then It's Cool

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I forgot to mention this last week when I discovered it - The Unit is a lot more interesting when you Tivo it and skip over all the backstory scenes with the wives.

Of course, the wives are why my wife watches it with me, so I suppose I shouldn't complain.

I sometimes watch 24 more or less the same way - I skip over any scene with a female Palmer in it. Those subplots just don't do it for me.


While researching today's WTW entry, I found this video of a lion 'embracing' and 'kissing' the woman who rescued him.

I got news for you, lady - he ain't kissing you, he's tasting you!

I'm Lucky I Could Even Find My Office

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You ever get anything out of order in your morning routine, then spend the rest of the day feeling like you've got your skivvies on sideways, mentally speaking? 'Cos that's where I am right now.

At least I remembered to shower before dressing. If only I'd remembered to dry everything off before that, too...

And A Whole Lot Of What?


Listen very carefully to this clip from hour 4 of Friday's show, right after Bob says "Y'know, there's gonna be some fightin'."

It's a bit of a train wreck, as the gang and guest Eric Shorts are all simultaneously trying to tell this old joke.

Let's just say that it sounds like Shorts skips ahead a bit.


After the jump.

Today's 'Great Name For A Rock Band'


Naked Chocolate Jesus:

The Easter season unveiling of an anatomically correct milk chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ, dubbed "My Sweet Lord" by its creator, has a Catholic group infuriated.

"This is one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever," Bill Donohue, head of the Catholic League, said Thursday. "It's not just the ugliness of the portrayal, but the timing - to choose Holy Week is astounding.

. . .

The artwork was created from more than 200 pounds, or about 90 kilograms, of milk chocolate, and it features Christ with his arms outstretched as if on an invisible cross. Unlike the typical religious portrayal of Christ, the Cavallaro creation does not include a loincloth.
Donohue blows a gasket (which he apparently does quite often); me, I just shrug. Of course, Christians are easy targets here - Piss Christ, elephant dung Mary, whatever - people complain, and a few mentally unstable people make death threats, but most people react like I do. If the sculptor had any balls, he'd create 'Naked Chocolate Mohammad.'

And then go into hiding.

Fusion vs. Green Bay Blizzard, 3/31/07

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The FreedomFusion were victorious in their debut, winning 36-28 over the defending-conference-champs-in-name-only Green Bay Blizzard.

Random thoughts:

  • QB Cody Hodges must work through his reads pretty fast - there were at least two times he seemed to surprise the receiver with the ball, like the receiver knew he was the third option and really wasn't expecting it (to their credit, I'm pretty sure all of those were caught).
  • Speaking of Hodges, he seemed pretty well dialed in considering that he's only been with the team since Monday. Imagine what another week of familiarity with his team might do.
  • One of the things you have to watch out for when a longtime star player becomes a coach is whether or not he can actually, you know, coach. 'Touchdown' Eddie Brown looks like he's well on his way, based on how the team looked in their debut (indeed, for most of the players, it was their first af2 game at all). I didn't see much of the confusion that you might expect from an expansion debut.
  • There was also one little bit of what I think was 'coachmanship' - the Fusion had the ball 4th and goal inside the Green Bay 10 with seconds left in the fourth quarter. They sent out the field goal team, but let the clock run out on the quarter. When the quarter break ended, they ran out the offense and caught Green Bay by surprise, making them burn a time out - one that might have proven crucial in the final minutes. Not only that, they got a touchdown on the play!

I should have some pictures up on Flickr tomorrow.



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This page is an archive of entries from April 2007 listed from newest to oldest.

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