I know that at most newspapers, the headline to a story is written by an editor rather than the reporter who did the story itself. I'm guessing the editor here didn't play any kind of bat-and-ball sport as a child; either that, or every child in the Pittsburgh area is baseballically underdeveloped and still playing T-ball at an age where everybody else has moved on to having somebody pitch a ball to them. T-ball (sic) coach gets 1-6 years for ordering beaning:
UNIONTOWN, Pa. -- A youth league baseball coach convicted of getting one of his players to injure a teammate was sentenced to one to six years in prison today.
Fayette County Judge Ralph Warman said the actions by Mark Downs Jr., of Dunbar, in June 2005 were "outrageous" and "extremely reprehensible" because he was coaching a league of children 7 to 9 years old.
Testimony indicated Mr. Downs promised $25 to one of his best players if he hurled a ball at Harry Bowers Jr.
There's a bright side to this story: it looks like Mr. Downs will have the opportunity to deal with a lot of bats and balls over the next few years - in a PMITA prison:
Mr. Downs' bond was revoked and he was taken to jail to await transfer to a state prison.
Which leads me into my second attempt to write a bit for Bob & Tom (the first is here):
[F/X PHONE RINGS]
BOB KEVOIAN: Morning, Bob & Tom Show...
"MORGAN FREEMAN": Hello there sonny, this is Morgan Freeman.
BOB: Hey there, Morgan, how 'ya doing?
"MORGAN": I'm well, thank ya very kindly. I just wanted to tell you about the baseball tournament we had last weekend here at Shawshank Prison. Our team had a new catcher, guy by the name of Mark Downs Jr.
TOM GRISWOLD: Isn't he the t-ball coach who just got sent to prison for ordering one of his players to bean a teammate?
"MORGAN": That's him. He was catching a bull queer they call Big Woody, who plays with a 32-ounce bat.
BOB: That's gonna leave a mark!
"MORGAN": Ohhhh, Marky. That was the longest at-bat of his life.
Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.
Do they even play baseball in Pittsburgh?
(Which would have been a very funny remark had my Cubs not finished behind the Pirates)