An oldie but a goodie this week on WTW - Redneck Neighbor, the story of a man fed up with his Caucasian-Refuse-American neighbor (and proof that you can be White Trash without being poor):
October 1997 - 1st Home beautification project
It's dark outside, I'm standing in front of my house and my neighbor does the following: He gets in his car, drives it up to the house on the other side of my house (this house is still being built). He backs his car up to the construction site and opens the trunk. He calmly proceeds to load up the trunk with bricks and 2x4s. Pretty clever, huh?
The following night, at around 9:00pm he decides it's time to build a mailbox post. It's very nice. He used the stolen 2x4s from the previous night. It looks like it's made out of 2x4s except he didn't steal any that were long enough so he nails a couple of them together to get the correct height - I mean, it has to look just right! The mailbox post is not very sturdy so he braces it with an additional 2x4 (at an angle). Click here to see the mailbox (no bracing 2x4 though).
He uses the bricks as edging for his flower beds. They look nice. Especially with the newly planted bamboo trees and the ten gallon fish tank (no fish, just water).
. . .
Mom moves in!
Nothing wrong here. Mom seems like a very nice lady. Unfortunately, my wife wakes me up to bad news again. "Something weird is happening at JD8’s house. His dog is chasing some chickens around the back yard." Unfortunate indeed. Just as I peek out the bathroom window, I see JD8’s mom come out and throw some chicken feed in the middle of the yard. About nine chickens gather around, frantically pecking at the food but Cujo crashes in and spoils the moment. My morning is spoiled as well.
Remember the old "covenant rules" of our neighborhood? Well, there's a sentence in there about livestock (fancy word for chickens and goats). We don’t live in the country – we live in the city. After a quick phone call to our city's "Special enforcement" folks, they promise to come out and give JD8 a warning. The chickens are gone within a couple days. Can you say chicken feast?
Apparently this guy isn't alone in chronicling the misadventures of his neighbors.
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