At Least They Knew They Could Outrun Their Victims


Maybe Fort Wayne really is the dumbest city in America, because shedding excess dumb-itude to surrounding counties is the best explanation for these yahoos:

Three Elkhart County men remained in the LaGrange County Jail on Friday, accused of holding up a buggy and robbing its occupants of $1.

. . .

About 9 p.m. Thursday, the three men were riding in a Pontiac Grand Prix on South LaGrange County Road 200 West, according to a written statement from the LaGrange County Sheriff’s Department. The Grand Prix blocked the road so that a buggy could not pass.

The men – two of whom wore masks – jumped out of the car and held the family in the buggy at gunpoint while they demanded money, the statement said. A man in the buggy threw his wallet onto the road.

The men took the wallet and fled the scene, police said. It contained $1.

. . .

A Topeka police officer stopped the car and arrested its occupants, it said. Police also found the handguns, which had been thrown from the car.
I've been to Topeka, Indiana; when they say 'A Topeka police officer,' I'm pretty sure they meant 'The Topeka police officer...'

OK, let's total this up:

  • three handguns: $600.
  • take: $1.
  • Net: $-599.
Looks like they're down about $199.67 per guy. But, hey, amortize that over three years in jail, and it's a loss of only $66.56 per guy per year. Most airlines don't get that kind of ROI.


True story: when I was a little kid riding with the parents through Elkhart County when my Dad rear-ended a buggy with the Cadillac.

Thankfully-- miraculously-- no one was hurt, not even the horse.

But that buggy wasn't good but for firewood after that.

"Most airlines don't get that kind of ROI..."

Man,that's cold.

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This page contains a single entry by Chris published on April 17, 2005 5:53 PM.

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