Karma And Other Concepts I'm Fond Of

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Fair warning: this post is mainly about Survivor, and is rated R for language. If you're not a fan, but adult language doesn't bother you, pick up your reading where indicated on the extended entry.

I bet Lex is wishing he kept Ethan and Jerry around. Ethan is a good friend and could have been counted on to stay loyal, while Jerri had no loyalty at all to anybody other than Lex. If Chapera had gone into the merge with Lex, Ethan, Jerri, and Kathy, they would only have had to swing one Mogo Mogo person for the vote to come out in Lex's favor. Maybe it didn't matter; I don't know. What I do know is that Lex was an idiot for taking Rob up on his offer, and he was even more of an idiot to think that Rob would hold up his end of the deal. If there's one thing you can count on about Rob (who is playing pretty much the same way he did in Marquesas (although not as overtly aggressive), but this time there's no stronger counter-alliance to squish him early), he sticks to deals as long as they benefit him and not one second longer.

For Rob even to make the 'You take care of Amber, I'll take care of you' offer to Lex is a sign that Rob was motivated by pussy. Guys will do just about anything to get the strange they want, and once they got it, they don't never ever wanna lose it.

[Non-Survivor fans can pick up here] 'Motivated by pussy' is one of my favorite concepts. As a teenager, I once rode a crappy bike 25 miles uphill because I was motivated by pussy. It can affect men of all kinds, in any era, prince, president, or king. Never underestimate the ability of a man to do something stupid because of lust.

I first heard that expression on the Bob & Tom Show, in a fake Bill Clinton speech digitally assembled from bits of other speeches:

Good evening. This afternoon, in this room, from this chair, Monica Lewinsky moved onto my staff and my private parts - even Presidents have private parts - and that is why I am spanking Monica Lewinsky tonight. Indeed, I have a relationship with Miss Lewinsky that's nobody's business but ours.

In fact, it's love with Miss Lewinsky, not only fucking Monica Lewinsky, but, in fact, a fucking that no American citizen would ever want to watch. But I told the Grand Jury today, and I say to you now: I fucked with the people, including even my wife. I deeply regret that.

I can only tell you I was motivated by pussy, and I say to you now: I intend to lie, to hide or destroy evidence. I must do whatever it takes to get on with fucking Monica Lewinsky. And so tonight, I ask you to turn away from the spectacle of me or my fucking wife.

It is time to stop the prying into my relationship with Monica Lewinsky. It is private. It's nobody's fucking business but ours. Thank you, and good night.

Another concept I first heard about on Bob & Tom (a Mr. Obvious bit) is the idea of "'Fuck you!' money," having enough money so you can afford to tell your boss, "Fuck you!" I someday hope to have Fuck You money (I doubt I'll actually tell my boss "Fuck you!" since he's a pretty decent guy).

The last concept we'll discuss today is 'scoreboard,' which I first heard from sports talk show host Jim Rome. Basically, it means this: you can rationalize however, blame whoever, analyze whatever, and it doesn't matter. At the end of the day, the scoreboard tells you everything you need to know; indeed, it is the trump card to almost every sports argument. It works in a lot of other places outside the sporting arena, too: elections, Survivor, TV ratings, and more. Just remember not to call 'scoreboard' until the game's actually over. Boston Rob, I'm looking at you.

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This page contains a single entry by Chris published on April 9, 2004 12:20 PM.

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