August 2003 Archives

FFB Draft Hot Wash

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(It's an Army term describing an immediate after-action review, in case you're wondering). I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out. Our league has 14 teams (I picked 11th) and is a fairly typical performance-based league; the biggest difference is that RBs/WRs get two points per catch, making pass-catching RBs worth even more than a typical performance league. Anyway, on to my team:

  • QB: Steve McNair - in the next-to-last round after everybody else except one guy had their QB. Howe the HELL did he fall to me?
  • RB: Travis Henry - first round. I let Ahman Green go; we'll see how well that works.
  • RB: Curtis Martin - second round. This time, I let Jamaal Lewis go by.
  • WR: Peerless Price - third round. Quite surprised he made it to me at pick 39; I think Vick's injury scared people off.
  • WR: Mushin Muhammad - fifth round. He's having a good preseason; I hope the rest of the offense keeps defenses from doubling him.
  • WR: Drew Bennett - eighth round. My sleeper pick. He better be worthwhile - I passed on Tim Brown to get him!
  • K: Martin Gramatica - fourth (!) round. I'm really tired of having kickers that suck. Our league has a curse on whoever picks the first kicker in a given year - they almost never do well. I spit in the face of the curse!
  • D: Pittsburgh - sixth round. I was the third person to take a defense; I wanted Tampa Bay or Philly.

Strategic Pause

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In final stages of preparation for my fantasy football draft tonight, so nothing yesterday or today. Post-mortem tomorrow.

Out Of The Frying Pan...

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MSNBC is reporting that Hamas is taking measures to reduce their vulnerability to Israeli attacks. Things like minimizing cell phone usage, travelling by streets invisible from the air, and this:

"Only one militant should be in a car at a time."

They'd better watch out--that'll piss off the Earth Liberation Front. (Hat tip: Joe S.)

Bits 'n Pieces

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Just time for a couple of quick observations today.

First, the matricula counsular card, an identification card issued by Mexican consulates to Mexicans abroad (predominantly in the US), is gaining traction in the US as a means of establishing identity:

"But in recent months, Mr. Montes de Oca and other undocumented immigrants from Mexico have begun stepping out of the shadows. This summer, Indianapolis and seven other Midwestern cities started accepting an identity card issued by the Mexican government, offering Mexicans who are here illegally a startlingly new sense of legitimacy."
I don't know what 'undocumented immigrants' means. I think they misspelled 'illegal immigrants.'

I've written about this before, and I still think it's a bad idea. Any Mexican legally in the US should be able to get a US-based ID of some kind, and those illegally in the US don't deserve the same access to services. I'm not saying they shouldn't necessarily be in the US, just that we should either enforce the immigration laws we do have or change the laws. But to have police accept the card as ID:

"In Cincinnati, police officers accept the card from crime victims, witnesses and suspects."
and not immediately turn around and call La Migra just strikes me wrong.

Second, Haaretz reports that the US is analyzing the possibility of pumping Iraqi oil to Israel. That'll put the Islamikazes in full seething rant mode. I can hear them now: "Bush is stealing Iraq's oil to give to the Joooooooz!!"

Since I'll probably be traveling to the UK in a couple of weeks (current probability: 85%, unchanged from last report), I'm looking on the net for travel advice. I imagine a couple of things have changed since the last time I was there 23 years ago. So I hit Google with the phrase 'traveling to the UK', except I left out the quotes. It didn't matter, though, as I still found this excellent page where I got all kinds of inside info:

"Underpants are called "wellies" and friends are called "tossers." If you are fond of someone, you should tell him he is a "great tosser"-he will be touched."
Funny how language changes -- when I was there, 'tosser' was slang for 'chronic masturbator.' It must be one of those juxtaposition things like the kids do nowadays, where 'deaf' means 'really loud and excellent' and 'stupid fat' means 'very very good and actually thin.' But there's more:
"Few foreigners are aware that there are several grades of meat in the UK. The best cuts of meat, like the best bottles of gin, bear Her Majesty's seal, called the British Stamp of Excellence (BSE). When you go to a fine restaurant, tell your waiter you want BSE beef and won't settle for anything less. If he balks at your request, custom dictates that you jerk your head imperiously back and forth while rolling your eyes to show him who is boss."
We'd call it 'prime,' but I guess "different strokes" applies here. And if I have any free time on the weekend I'll be there, this little recreation looks like it might be satisfying:
"One of the most delighful ways to spend an afternoon in Oxford or Cambridge is gliding gently down the river in one of their flat- bottomed boats, which you propel using a long pole. This is known as "cottaging." Many of the boats (called "yer-i-nals") are privately owned by the colleges, but there are some places that rent them to the public by the hour. Just tell a professor or policeman that you are interested in doing some cottaging and would like to know where the public yerinals are. The poles must be treated with vegetable oil to protect them from the water, so it's a good idea to buy a can of Crisco and have it on you when you ask directions to the yerinals. That way people will know you are an experienced cottager."
Finally, there's this little secret, which I'm sure will let me skip the regular customs lines (which is a good thing as I've heard they can be quite long):
"One final note: for preferential treatment when you arrive at Heathrow airport, announce that you are a member of Shin Fane (an international Jewish peace organization-the "shin" stands for "shalom"). As savvy travellers know, this little white lie will assure you priority treatment as you make your way through customs; otherwise you could waste all day in line. "
Do you think it'll matter that I'm not Jewish?

The Etymology of 'Euro-Weasel'

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MiF pointed me to a Chicago Boyz post by French expat Sylvain Galineau, who has some advice for the French on how to think about America. It also is a good summing-up of why a lot of Americans are leery of any kind of pan-European political entity:

"And remember every time you babble about it: the UN is an American creation; and the right to punch well above our [French] weight in that venue has been granted to us by them and their allies, those who actually won World War II by obliterating a tyranny the like of which Americans are incapable of. Because Americans are people who escaped tyrannies, famines, political persecution, imperialism, colonialism, intolerance, communism, genocide and all the other wonderfully sophisticated things Europeans engineered over the past few hundred years. And they built a unique nation out of their deep, first-hand, collective understanding of what not to do. So listen. Carefully."

Final Thoughts on The Amazing Race

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Well, I almost called the final four in exact order. Too bad David & Jeff got stranded in Sydney; it would have been cool to have the three teams separated by only a few minutes at the end, like last year. How big a mistake was it for D&J to head straight to Sydney (besides the obvious answer "Big enough to knock them out of the running, dumbass!")? First, heading for a bigger airport as soon as possible without all-the-way-through tickets in your hand is generally considered a bad idea. Second, I think they would have been better off staying in contact (i.e., on the same flights wherever possible) on the basis that they would beat the other two teams in a footrace. If this opinion puzzles you, take a close look at how Reichen runs (what do you mean, you haven't been capturing and zaprudering every episode all along?). He looks like a shambling Frankenstein speeded up maybe 20%. He has the gait of someone with bad knees and/or ankles, and when I had achillies tendonitis about ten years ago, that's exactly how I looked like when I tried to run.

I could tell from last week's previews that nobody was really going to flip their SUV, but Chip got pretty damn lucky that he didn't get stuck, or get a flat tire, or hit something--anything that might have delayed them long enough to not be able to get a plane ticket. Dammit.

It looked like Reichen & Chip and Kelly & Jon finished sometime around 8:30 Mountain time (based on Reichen saying "It's about 8:00, traffic is starting to pick up" as they approached the final park), but I'm not sure how much time they spent on the bikes. I don't think it was very long, and I think they could see the finish line from the bike pickup, because they didn't seem to be in any hurry on the bikes. So that means that when David & Jeff get to the volcano at 5:30 AM local (three time zones back), and their clue said that the other two teams had finished, they must have just finished.

The Amazing Finale

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Well, the finale of The Amazing Race is tonight, and I'd like to point out (again) that I called the final four -- and the final three -- before the series started. Soooo... lets compare what I said then to what I think now.

  • Jon & Al. What I said then: "They work well together, have travelled a lot, and seem to have a pretty good sense of humor." What I think now: the sense of humor clearly showed through (the mugging for the cameras didn't bother me at all -- it's their day job, what do you expect?), but what really impressed me was the way they treated everybody they came into contact with in a respectful fashion. There's no doubt in my mind that they were the class team of this race, and I bet if the other teams were asked "Which team (besides yourselves) is most deserving of the money?" the clowns would be the #1 answer.
  • Kelly & Jon. What I said then: "Kelly "admits to being high-strung and obsessive" so it's clear that she's being set up as TAR4's Flo. Jon is a well-travelled jock." What I think now: Jon certainly hasn't had to carry her like Zach did Flo, that's for sure. Jon's smarter (most of the time) than he looks (most of the time); he really seems to have gotten under Reichen & Chip's collective skin, and I think it pays off tonight with some kind of stress-related mistake on their part. Fair play? It's arguable, but I think so. Nonetheless, I find them both so personally irritating that the only redeeming factor to them winning would be Flo getting knocked off her perch as the only woman to win.
  • David & Jeff. What I said then: "Both these guys like to work out. Great--this year's set of Body Nazis." What I think now: basically, I wanted to hate them because they were beautiful. Unfortunately for my finely-tuned sense of indignation, they've turned out to be decent people and good racers. Yeah, they've been shown bumbling around a lot making little mistakes, but contrast that with the clowns, who are gone because of their one big mistake -- the only one we were really shown, at least. They've generally kept their cool and been good to each other (Jon & Kelly, I'm looking at you) and the people they meet (Reichen & Chip, I'm looking at you). Of the remaining three, I want them to win.
  • Reichen & Chip. What I said then: "Their bio hints at some possible interpersonal touchiness, but I think that's just the mandatory downside stuff. On paper, they've got all the necessary skills, and if they have agreeable personalities, they'll join the Clowns among my favorite teams. " What I think now: nope, it sure wasn't throwaway 'mandatory downside stuff.' I have never seen such a combination of arrogance and thin skin. They're kind of the anti-David & Jeff -- I wanted to like them, but their behavior turned me the other direction. At Mach 3. I think the biggest question of the finale will be whether Chip avoids the stroke he seems to be building up to.
  • Incidentally, the travel probability I alluded to yesterday is now up to 85%. But that'll probably change before I blog again.

OK, So Maybe It Was O-Dark-Hundred

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I don't know what the hell I was thinking yesterday, because at 4:30 this morning it was pretty much fully dark. It was overcast, which explains some of it, but not much. I must have been sleeping on the drive in, and dreaming of a time later in the morning.

I sure hope I didn't hit anybody.

Reporting For Duty At O-Not-Quite-Dark-Hundred

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I'm on temporary assignment away from the regular day job helping to write a prototype as part of the proposal for this UK MoD project, which is very similar conceptually to the regular day job. We're working with a British company on the prototype -- they're doing the GUI and we're doing the heavy thinking underneath it -- and we need to coordinate with them on a daily basis. In fact, there's a small chance that I'll be traveling to the UK as part of this effort (this time yesterday, it was a pretty large chance, but the probability changes so frequently that for all I know I'll have plane tickets in my hand by close-of-business today).

Anyway, in an effort to improve the work-hour overlap between us and them (we're six time zones apart), we've been asked to start coming in at 5:00AM. Brutal, but do-able. Did you know that at 4:30 AM in mid-August in northeast Indiana, there's enough light to see? You still need headlights to drive, but, damn! That just ain't right. The reason is that northeast Indiana is about as far east as you can get and still be in the Central time zone. In the summer, at least, since as I've discussed before, most of Indiana has not yet mastered the art of setting its clocks ahead one hour in the spring and back one in the fall. Being farther east in your time zone = earlier sunrises.

Selective Memory

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Somebody at ESPN Classic has it in for Michigan. They're showing (almost) non-stop classic college football all weekend, and Michigan is in six of the games. But look at the list:

It's not the first time this has happened, either. Last November when Classic aired 'Classic Rivalries - Michigan/Ohio State,' Michigan lost three of the four games they showed (including the 1974 one--again).

I don't know what the Ba'ath insurgents think they're going to gain from shifting their attacks from US/UK troops to infrastructure, although it's impressed the NYT:

"The attacks raised new concerns that the insurgents who have been singling out American soldiers may be widening their strikes to include civilian targets and economic sabotage. The explosion at the water pipeline was the work of saboteurs, investigators said, and the fire along the pipeline appeared suspicious as well."

Call me cynical, but I think they're tired of losing ten guerrillas for every coalition casualty they inflict, and water mains and pipelines are less likely to shoot back. Of course, Jim Dunnigan beat me to that thought by a day:

"The Baath Party appears to be shifting it's efforts from American troops, who have been increasingly successful in defeating these attacks, to destruction of civilian infrastructure and intimidation of Iraqi civilians."
Dunnigan goes on to say the first thing I thought of when I heard about the attacks--that the saboteurs are only hurting Joe Six-cup-of-tea Iraqi:
"Coalition mass media is constantly pointing out the need for Iraqis to choose which side they are on and act. Increasing cooperation from Iraqi civilians, in terms of information and volunteers for local security and rebuilding projects, has apparently also attracted the attention of the Baath Party leaders. The Baath plan to create chaos and a general uprising against the coalition (which Baath would exploit to return to power), won't work if the Iraqi population unites against Baath."

Cleaning Out The Mental Scrap Box

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Crampons are like tire chains for your feet--they're arrays of spikes that strap on to your footwear and give traction on ice. But doesn't the name--'crampons'--sound more like a menstrual pain reliever in suppository form: "Crampax brand crampons--70% faster acting than Midol! New lemon scent!"

New Office Lexicon entries: acluistic and beating.

Hot Time, Summer In The City...

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samizdata.net reports that things may heat up in Iraq soon, for the same reason riots used to happen in the US--hot people without air conditioning get cranky. I say 'used to' because the ideal breeding ground for riots -- a large-scale blackout on a hot summer day -- just happened, but there weren't any riots except in Ottawa (!) -- not even in Detroit!

Anyway, back to Iraq, where a critical stage is fast approaching:

"It's riot season. This used to happen under the old regime this time of year as well, but a) it wasn't reported, and b) it was smaller because they used to shoot people. But the lack of electricity and other utilities that is the underlying problem was the same. It's over 135 degrees outdoors, there's no electricity for fridges and air conditioning in many areas, so people are pissed off. And it's very humid when the wind blows from the south. Every revolt in Iraqi history, including Ba'ath one, takes place at this time of year."
We'll keep our fingers crossed.

Qui Bono?

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From the BBC comes this story of a really freak accident that killed a British university professor:

"Investigations are under way after a reversing car crashed through a sea wall and fell on to a sunbather on an Isle of Wight beach.

Academic Harvey Flower, 58, from Beckenham, Kent, died when the car fell on to him as he was reading on the beach at Shanklin.

The Rover car was on the town's Esplanade when it struck a Vauxhall Astra parked nearby at just before 1800 BST on Thursday.

It then crashed into a beach hut, before going over the sea wall and falling six feet on to the beach below."
Weird, no? Well, according to the article, the deceased was a Professor of Material Science, and if we dig a little deeper into the article, we find this:
[in a statement released on behalf of his family] "'In his field, he was a respected world expert on Titanium and his knowledge of the subject was sought by academics and scientists around the world.'"

Who stands to gain from the death of a world expert on a light, strong metal? People who make their living with other light, strong metals, that's who! Be vigilant; the Aluminati may be making their move!

Update: Here's how you can protect yourself (hat tip: chessandlena.com).

Small Victories

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Well, what do you know! The TSA's No-Fly List finally bagged somebody other than David Nelson! From the Seattle Times (via Shark Blog):

"Two Pakistani men are being held in Seattle after an airline employee at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport found one of their names on a terrorism-related no-fly list Saturday night.

One of the men, 36, carrying a British Columbia driver's license, paid cash for a one-way ticket to New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport. After the airline employee called 911, the man left the counter, abandoning his ticket.

The other man, 29, who had a New York driver's license, also paid cash for a one-way ticket to Kennedy Airport on a different airline, police reports show.

Port police detained both men, then turned them over to the FBI."

On the other hand, these guys don't look like Al-Qaida first stringers:

"'Of course, you wonder about these guys,' [Brian Jenkins, a terrorism expert and senior adviser to the Rand Corp. in Santa Monica] said. 'They're not particularly clever, coming to the airport to buy one-way tickets and to pay cash.'"

Strange Ad-fellows

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I was doing some research for another entry when I stumbled across In These Times, a website containing "Independent News and Views" (where 'independent' is of course defined as 'leftist') with articles such as 'How To Sell A War,' 'Michael Moore Stars At The Academy Awards,' and 'Web of Lies' (three guesses what that one's about). No, I'm not linking to any of them; they'll have to get their Google score somewhere else. Anyway, I happened to notice this banner ad above the story I was reading:In These Times advertises conservative books!

Yet Another Reason Not To Live On The Left Coast

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If you don't get wiped out in the Big One (either here, here, or even here), torched in a wildfire, swept away in a mudslide, or irritated to death by freaks, you now have a new concern: Washington's Mount Whitney is overdue to blow its top:

"Clear sightlines have made it possible to gaze at Rainier and appreciate it less as an intermittent aesthetic pleasure and more for what the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) warns that it really is.

'A monumental threat,' said William E. Scott, scientist in charge of the Cascades Volcano Observatory, a USGS center that monitors volcanoes from California to Alaska.Volcanologists determined in the late 1990s that the mountain is far more unstable than previously thought, and they have since persuaded local emergency management officials to launch an early-warning system and a major public-awareness campaign. Tens of thousands of people are being told to 'enjoy the volcano in your back yard' but to be prepared to run away from it — fast. The town nearest Rainier has about 40 minutes to flee. Inside the national park that encircles the mountain, scientists in recent months have shortened the run-for-it survival time to five minutes."
And when it goes, it'll be worse than Mount St. Helens because the area is more densely populated:
"The volcano has a long, spotty history of spontaneous collapse and massive mudflows called lahars.

About 150,000 people now live atop lahars that have rioted down the slopes of Mount Rainier over the past 5,000 years. The lahars ran all the way to what are now the ports of Tacoma and Seattle, distances, respectively, of 50 and 75 miles.

No volcano in the lower 48 states packs so much risk so close to so many people, Scott said. Mount St. Helens, which erupted in 1980 and killed 57 people, is more active than Rainier, but it is not near large population centers."

Tears Of The Nitpicker

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I was watching Tears of the Sun last night, and something in the final scenes bothered me. WARNING: this totally spoils the end of the movie. You have been warned.

Always Wear Your Seat Belt...

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...especially if you think your driver's about to go car-mageddon on somebody (hat tip - ObscureStore):

"Two drivers who fought a deadly mile-long road-rage battle last spring that killed a passenger in one of the cars have been charged in the man's death.

Both drivers, including the girlfriend of the victim, should be held accountable, Hennepin County Attorney Amy Klobuchar said Wednesday while announcing charges against the drivers in a Brooklyn Park crash that killed 25-year-old Marvin Lindsey. She stood just feet from the median of U.S. 169 where a small memorial stands for Lindsey.

"These two were basically engaged in mutual car-to-car combat along the highway that ended in the death of Mr. Lindsey," Klobuchar said of the April 27 crash.

Mark Raymond Bair, 29, and Beth Ann Rademacher, 25, were each charged with felony criminal vehicular homicide in the death of Lindsey, a passenger in Rademacher's car.

...

It took several months for state troopers to reconstruct the accident scene and to gather evidence from many witnesses, who gave the following account of the road battle:

Witnesses said they saw a Chevrolet Lumina run a red light at 117th Avenue and abruptly turn into the southbound left lane of U.S. 169, causing several cars to brake suddenly. An Oldsmobile Cutlass was one of the cars driving south on 169.

Bair drove the Oldsmobile and Rademacher drove the Chevrolet.

When the two cars soon stopped next to each other at a red light at 114th Avenue, Bair got out of his car and began yelling at Rademacher, who in turn got out of her car and yelled back, according to the charges filed in Hennepin County District Court.

A witness said she saw someone from the Chevrolet throw a pair of scissors toward the Oldsmobile. And at one point, witnesses said, Bair yelled a racial epithet at Rademacher and Lindsey, an African-American.

At the next light, Bair again got out of his car and threw a screwdriver at the Chevrolet, the charges allege.

For the next mile or so, the two cars swerved at each other, Klobuchar said.

Eventually Rademacher lost control of her car, swerving onto the left shoulder and rolling several times into the median, where Lindsey was thrown from the car. He died shortly after the crash."


When I'm king, an incident like this will be good for twenty or thirty felony counts of Dangerous Stupidity. But we're not done yet. Ravingbarker's sister is upset that Ravingbarker was also charged:

"'I think it's very unfair. I don't think they looked at everything they should have,' Paulson said. 'My son was in the car. He said words were exchanged, but that they were just driving along and the guy kept swerving at them.'"

Here's the deal, lady: your nutbag sister got her boyfriend killed because she

  • A. Ran a red light,

  • B. Reacted badly to initial criticism of same,

  • C. Threw (or had someone in her car throw) a pair of scissors at the other guy,

  • D. Reacted badly to subsequent criticism of same,

  • E. Engaged in a rollicking game of swerve-chicken...

  • F. ...which she lost. Finally,

  • G. She couldn't get her boyfriend to buckle up.


Oh, yeah, she's pregnant, too. Now there are some genes that I want propogated.

The deputies responded to a breaking and entering call at the golf course. They dismounted and cautiously approached on foot, surprising the suspects as they were loading the last of their loot. Desparate to escape, the suspects gunned their pickup truck and drove straight at one deputy, trying to run him over. The deputy dove out of the way and fired four shots at the fleeing vehicle, disabling it. The suspects fled on foot but were caught by other deputies a few minutes later. The stolen goods were recovered...

Returnable beverage cans.

From my hometown paper, the Allegan (MI) County News:

"This was the fourth similar burglary at the golf course. Police believe [the suspects] were responsible for the three preceding ones.

The suspects kicked in the door to a shed attached to the clubhouse. On a previous burglary, $450 worth of returnable cans were stolen."

--Allegan County News, June 19, 2003, p. 3

At 10 cents per can, that's 4,500 cans! And since you can't return the cans if they're crushed, that's a lot of space. Although the theft is unusual, it's not unheard of:

"'When you steal something, you would typically get 10 cents on the dollar for what it's worth at a fence,' [Sheriff's Department Lt. Ron] Johnston said. 'With these, they're readily convertible into cash.'"

Well, sure, but if you were a store clerk, wouldn't you think it just a bit suspicious if someone tried to return 4,500 cans? And what's up with the golf course being robbed of that many cans (I'm guessing) three times? You'd think they'd have learned their lesson by now.

Much Ado About Something, But The Right Thing?

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Ted Bowen, a Canadian government official (I think; he's described as a "NDP caucus researcher" who writes government memos) resigned under pressure this week for referring to President Bush using Molly Ivins' favorite sobriquet: "shrub." In an internal government memo designed to increase efforts to convince the US to re-open the border to Canadian beef (after being closed in May when a cow in Alberta was found to have BSE), canada.com reports:

"While the memo itself seemed innocuous enough, it contained the subject line: 'Re: Petition to President Shrub.' A post-script on the letter explained that "shrub" was a dismissive nickname for Bush used by American writer and columnist Molly Ivins."
Apparently, the memo made its way into media hands last Wednesday, and Bowen was suspended without pay and asked to resign the next day. Since I spent the Clinton era referring to the president as 'Slick Willie' and worse, I really don't find the use of 'shrub' all that troubling. What does bother me, though, is something else the memo allegedly said:
'"The letter urged members to use 'whatever creative flimflam you can come up with' to circulate a petition from the government urging Bush to re-open the American border to Canadian beef." [emphasis added]

I know that 'creative flimflam' is government's stock in trade; it's just troubling to see it expressed so openly.

Trading Places Redux

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Thanks to some new detailed commodities trading information (and actual details of the scene) I've recently received, I'll soon be updating the Trading Places piece. Executive summary: I got the process more or less correct but my numbers were off by several orders of magnitude (always a risk when working with brown numbers). There's also a bit of Hollywood License at work vis-a-vis trading circuit breakers (actually, the lack of them). Hat tip: Carl Speare.

We're Keeping Our Money And Staying Home!

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Merde in France reports that a dip in U.S. travel to France has made front page of the Liberation. I'd like to point out this babelfish-ed quote:

"Barbara Kiming, director commercial minimizes the fall: 'approximately 5 %'. With the Carlton hotel of Cannes, 'the Americans represent approximately 20 % of our customers. And one passed roughly speaking from 20 to 15 %.'"
(OK, so babelfish doesn't go French->English all that well) Anyway, I don't know where Barbara learned her math, but from my perspective, if the American share of her business went from 20% to 15% of the total, that's a drop in American business of 25%, not 5%!

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