"I'm sorry for the way things are in China . . .."

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I can honestly say I never thought I'd headline a post with a John Denver lyric. Ever since his unfortunate demise, I can't listen to one of his songs without mutating the lyrics: "Grandma's feather bed" becomes "Pacific ocean bed", "Rocky Mountain High" becomes "Gas tank runnin' dry", that kind of thing. For the right price, you can hear his voice from beyond, if that's what you're into. But I digress.

The point behind today's headline is that we didn't get the apology right in the EP-3 hijacking. Here's the apology I would have written:

Dear Comrades, We're sorry your pilot was such an idiot. We're sorry that we let him hide his little fighter under our great big aircraft. We're sorry he squished himself like a bug trying to force our aircraft down on Hainan. We're sorry you didn't let us help you find him. We're sorry that nobody else in the world recognizes your claim to territoriality over the entire South China Sea. We're sorry you can't control your electronic emissions sufficiently to prevent an aircraft in international airspace from picking them up. And finally, we apologize in advance for the damage we're about to do to your runway to make it unnecessary for you to dispose of the aircraft. Sincerely, Dubya.

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This page contains a single entry by Chris published on April 11, 2001 9:42 PM.

Mrs. Wang, The Peoples' Liberation Army Air Force Regrets To Inform You That Your Husband Is Missing Because He Was Stupid was the previous entry in this blog.

When The Call Comes To Ascend, Will You Answer Your Chakraphone? is the next entry in this blog.

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