Dangerous Logic

Vacation's Over. Everybody Back On Your Heads.

I decided to take a few days off the daily blog-slog. I'm working on a Memorial Day weekend post, but, frankly, once you get past the wheelchair+golf cart chariot race and breaking into an electrical box in order to light the field for Night Jarts, it's pretty thin.

Anyway, look for a White Trash Wednesday post tomorrow.

If He'd Gotten Any Closer, The Automated Defenses Would Have Taken Him Out

I have told you before - if you attack a cop with your car, expect to get your ass shot:

(Angola-May 24) -- An Indiana State Police trooper who was being dragged by his arm after a routine traffic stop shot a motorist Tuesday.

State police say Trooper Andy Smith pulled two vehicles over at a rural intersection in Steuben County after he apparently saw them recklessly passing other cars in excess of 90 miles an hour.

Police say the driver of the first vehicle never hesitated when Smith ordered him to turn his car off. But they say when he approached the second one, a gray pickup, Clayton Bolding, 21, began to wrestle with the officer.

Police say Smith reached into the truck to try and turn the vehicle off, but the suspect hit the gas and started dragging the officer. Smith was able to reach his revolver and fired three shots, one of them striking Bolding, who then kept right on driving through the yard and into a red barn.

This is dangerously close to the Secure Undisclosed Location (where, in fact, we will soon be doing what we normally do on Memorial Day weekend), but all my neighbors' whereabouts were accounted for.

Update: I'm going to keep following this story, as details are changing:

Inconsistencies lie in the actions of Senior Trooper Lionel “Andy” Smith and his interactions with Clayton M. Bolding, 21, of Angola, before police say Bolding dragged Smith by his pickup and Smith fired several shots at the truck.

Sgt. Rodger Popplewell, spokesman for the Fort Wayne post, said May 24 that Smith reached into the pickup through the open driver’s door to turn off the engine after Bolding refused to comply with his instructions.

But a document filed in Steuben County Superior Court on Friday states that the vehicle was turned off when Smith opened the door and ordered Bolding to exit the vehicle.

The two tussled when Smith tried to handcuff Bolding and Bolding declared that he would not go to jail, the affidavit said.

. . .

Bolding pulled away and started the truck’s engine, and at the same time, Smith placed his left foot on the brake pedal and grabbed the steering wheel with his left hand, the affidavit said.

But Bolding put the truck in drive, stomped on the accelerator and drove 10 to 15 feet with Smith hanging on, half in and half out of the car, the affidavit said. Smith reached for his service weapon, then released his grip on the steering wheel and managed to get away.

“… At which time he had his gun in hand and fired approximately four rounds toward the vehicle until the vehicle cleared Trooper Smith and he perceived that the vehicle was no longer a threat to his safety,” the affidavit said.

No mention of the initial attempt to arrest was originally made. It's still damn stupid for Bolding to drive away from a state trooper, but it appears that our two subjects have a bit of a history already:

Of the nine times Bolding has received traffic citations in the past several years, Smith pulled him over twice, according to Steuben County court records. In May 2003, Bolding was found guilty of speeding, and in January 2003, Bolding was convicted of unnecessary use of a horn.

Which Gives The Concept Of Anakin As 'Loose Cannon' A Whole New Meaning

Lots of other people have done reviews of RotS that I can't hope to match (in particular, Dave), so I'll settle for the 'seeing stupid little things nobody else sees' thing that I seem to be known for.

Congress? Who said anything about Congress? I thought there was just a Senate; you mean there's a House too?

A strange and maddening juxtaposition of energy weapons and Stone Age-tactics.

Capital ships engaging at a range of what looked like a few hundred yards was tactically idiotic but gave a real 'wooden ships and iron men' feel that I think was Lucas' intent - especially when he showed two ships exchanging broadsides in a fashion strongly reminiscent of 18th century sea combat.

The shock and 'Ah!' of recognition when Bail Organa's ship is first shown.

How does a woman go from 'five months pregnant' to 'full term' in (at most) a couple of weeks? And does the Republic not have ultrasound machines? She's carrying twins and doesn't know it? And Anakin doesn't know it? Apparently you're not part of the Force until you're born...

And speaking of which, nobody dies in childbirth anymore, and don't give me that 'lost her will to live' crap.

Next Up: Graffiti On The Willis Bridge

Fort Wayne has a public art project called Mastodons On Parade, where over 100 local artists painted fiberglass mastodons to celebrate IPFW's 40th anniversary. After an unveiling party on April 30, the mastodons were distributed to various locations throughout Fort Wayne.

And here's where I'm beginning to wonder whether Fort Wayne really is the dumbest city in America, because less than a month later, three of them have been vandalized.

Why? What were you thinking? I'd like to ask the same questions J-G columnist Frank Gray wants to:

I can’t help but wonder exactly who committed the vandalism. If they get caught, I’d like to know. I’d like to put their name in the paper, just so they get credit. I’d like to interview them and ask them exactly why they decided to smash up one of the statues, let them explain exactly what their rationale was.

Were you drunk, or just in a bad mood, or bitter about who you are? Is this something you’d planned pretty carefully so you wouldn’t get caught?

Do you like to destroy things in general, or does it just bother you to see people cooperate in projects like the parade of mastodons? What other things in the city would you like to spoil? What else does the city have that you would like to take away?

The final question would be, where are you going to get the money to replace the mastodon you smashed up? Or will you just agree to buy it when it is auctioned off, promising to be the high bidder?

I should take some comfort in the fact that other cities that have done similar things have had vandalism problems, but that just means we'd have company in the 'Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!' department:

Auburn University in Alabama put tigers around its town, and people stole them.

In Lafayette, pigs were put on display around the town, and the damage to those was so extensive they had to be moved off the streets and into buildings to protect them, said Irene Walters of Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne.

Did Somebody Get The Number Of That Thought?

A couple of thoughts arrived in my head simultaneously from different directions this morning:

1. If you zap a guy wearing a bomb belt with a Taser, will the bomb go off?
2. Why was Anakin's nickname 'Anny' and not 'Ana?'

The resulting collision nearly knocked me off the elliptical machine.

I Think Tomorrow I'll Scoop Them On Frankenstein. Or Maybe Marsupials.

Dangerous Logic leads, CBS News follows. Back on April 10, the Taipei Times had a story on million-dollar mobile homes in Malibu. Two days ago, I did a WTW story on it. Later that night, the CBS Evening News also did.

First Rathergate, then Bob "Every-other-word-is-'uh'" Schieffer, now this. When they're getting scooped by some schmuck who uses Google to find a month-old newspaper article from Taiwan... wow. It doesn't get much lower than that.

Off To See The Emperor

I'm taking off now to go see Episode 3. I suffered through two crappy prequels to get here; the payoff damn better well be worth it. Hopefully Hayden Christiansen has learned to act in the last three years.

Update: Short answer: yes, it was; yes, he has.

Broadcasting From A Secure Undisclosed Location

I've listened to Bob & Tom for about ten years now, ever since they graduated from being just another Indianapolis morning show to syndicating their show to the rest of Indiana (with affiliates in Fort Wayne, South Bend, and Evansville). Back then, they were pretty Indiana-centric, talking a lot about the Pacers, the Colts, IU, Purdue, Notre Dame, and stuff happening around Indy.

Now that they've gone hugely national, they go to great pains to disguise where they're actually broadcasting from. There was a perfect example of this on yesterday's show, where comedian Ron Pearson is talking about an upcoming appearance with America's Favorite Survivor. Note how Tom squishes him when he's about to mention that Rupert is from Indy.

I'm not a nostalgic guy in general, but sometimes I miss the old B&T days, with bits like "Lord Help Our Colts," "Amish Bell," and "I Can't Drive 465."

Like Yelling "Free Krispy Kremes!" At A Weight Watchers Meeting

Kelly at Time to Lean has some good advice on animal sacrifices (timely, too, as I'm going back to the beach in 21 days and 20 hours (not that I'm counting or anything)):

Of course, being attacked by a shark is a relatively rare phenomenon. However, Yahoo offers up a tidbit of advice when you're near to shark-infested waters. Here's a summary if you're too lazy to read: Don't sacrifice animals in the ocean. Always helpful to remember when engaging in your day-to-day animal sacrifice activities.

We'd better do the chicken sacrifice in the hotel pool instead. I think I'd rather pay extra for filter cleaning than become shark shit.

What's Next? Jacking Up The White House And Putting A Metal Skirt Around It?

I had thought White Trashdom was something we in flyover country had all to ourselves. We make fun of it, but we relish it, because it's people behaving however they want and to hell with what everybody else thinks, and there ain't nuthin' more Murrican than that.

No more. I am saddened to say that White Trash has gone Hollywood:

After making a fortune from his skateboard firm, World Industries, Steve Rocco could have lived anywhere he wanted. He chose Paradise Cove, a woodsy neighborhood on a cliff overlooking the Pacific, where he bought a home for nearly US$500,000 and then spent more than US$1 million replacing it with a Craftsman-style cottage.

But Rocco's place is not exactly on millionaire's row. Paradise Cove is a mobile-home park.

"It's probably the best spot in the Southern California coast," he said.

Trailer parks may conjure images of retirees and low-income families in most of the country, but in Malibu parks that once drew the elderly, working class and bohemian are now being transformed into the new playground for the rich. Here new owners with the means to decorate with marble floors, recessed lighting and Sub-Zero refrigerators are replacing 1970s flat-roof aluminum metal-sided trailers with mobile homes in Craftsman, Cape Cod, Tuscan or Spanish villa styles that come with two-car garages.

It's White Trash Wednesday! Take the whole tour:

In Other News, I've Given Up Not Drinking Beer For Lent

I've got to start reading slower. Drudge headlined this link with "Social Worker: Boy Denied Abuse by Michael Jackson", and when I read it I thought "Poor bastard can't catch a break. Now he's being accused of not abusing a kid?"

More Pub We Don't Need

Great. In addition to being the dumbest city in America and having a city attorney whose conduct in January resembled a drunk driver's to three decimal places (without him even having to answer questions about it), Fort Wayne can now be known as the home of the George Washington impersonator busted with 200,000 child pornography pictures:

A Fort Wayne actor known in several states for his impersonation of George Washington at historical events was sentenced Tuesday to 87 months in federal prison for admitting he had received a digital image of child pornography.

Steven A. Black, 61, of the 200 block of West DeWald Street, made a brief, inaudible statement to U.S. District Court Judge Theresa L. Springmann before she accepted his plea agreement and meted out the recommended sentence.

. . .

According to a plea agreement, Black admitted to receiving one digital picture of a young girl having sex with an adult man. The prosecution told the judge in February that if the case had gone to trial, it would have presented evidence that suggested Black had at least 200,000 images.

Iron Chef: Battle Oxtail

Theme Ingredient: Oxtail
Iron Chef: Sakai
Challenger: Koji Hosogai, Head Chef, Poisson D'Or, Niigata.
Remarks: Photographer Tenmei Kanoh tasted but didn't judge. Warning: horsemeat (horsefat, actually) in use. Comments based on the Food Network's October 28, 2000 airing of this episode.

The challenger was Koji Hosogai, Head Chef, Poisson D'Or, Niigata. He is an expert French chef whose speciality is using local ingredients. Photographer Tenmei Kanoh, a frequent judge, says he's his favorite chef, and actually followed him around shooting a series of 'day in the life' photographs. Hosogai challenged Hiroyuki Sakai.

The theme ingredient was Oxtail (at about USD100 per), 3 each of whole raw, whole boiled in bouillion, chopped (into sections) raw, and chopped boiled. The boiled parts were available because cooking a raw oxtail can take up to three hours; obviously, this is not practical in an Iron Chef match. Guest commentators were actress Keiko Saito (mmm.... Keiko Saito) and the performer Korn. The other judges were Lower House member Shinichiro Kurimoto and fortune teller Kozuko Hosoki. Kanoh was present as a taster, but did not judge, although he kept trying to tip the scales in Hosogai's favor.

Hosogai's dishes:

1. Oxtail royale and tartare toast. Minced oxtail was mixed with--get those barf bags ready--raw fat from the base of a horse's mane. It was served on toast and 'iced' with mayonnaise. Korn thought the dish would be 'thicker' (I think they meant heavier or greasier) than it turned out to be. Hosoki didn't like it at all--she thought the meat was 'too fluffy.'
2. Oxtail soup. This is a variant of one of Kanoh's favorite dishes. Minced oxtail (cooked this time, I think in red wine) was folded into ravioli-like noodles and served cold on top.
3. Oxtail risotto. Oxtail croquettes were served over the rice in a fatty netting. Korn loved this one.
4. Shochu sorbet. How oxtail figures in a sorbet dish was not explained. I think I speak for everyone when I express my gratitude for that.
5. Oxtail red wine stew. This dish had truffles, foie gras, and persimmons (to tenderize the meat). Saito thought it was too strong a dish.

Iron Chef Sakai's dishes:

1. Oxtail jelly and broad bean mousse. A small chunk of grilled oxtail that looked almost bacon-like served as a garnish. Korn loved how the broad bean matched with the oxtail. Hosoki liked it too.
2. Oxtail foie gras croquette. These were also served in a fatty netting, which Sakai advised the tasters to remove before eating since they'd already had one dish in fatty netting. Kurimoto liked it, but Kanoh said it 'lacked originality.'
3. Oxtail red wine stew. He used bone marrow to add a sweet taste, and used South African tea to tenderize the meat.
4. French-style rice porridge. Similar to Hosogai's risotto in that they were both oxtail over rice. Korn liked the challenger's version better. Remember that when you see the scores.

In a clean sweep for Sakai, Kurimoto and Hosoki both scored it 19-17, Saito 19-18, and Korn 20(!)-19.

Weekend Wrapup

Nothing really blogworthy by itself this weekend, so let's just roll up a few little things.

Hallelujah! Governor Daniels signed Daylight Saving Time into law, bringing Indiana into the 20th Century only five years after everybody else has entered the 21st (six, actually; we start observing DST next April). Now it's just a matter of whether we go Eastern, Central, or both; frankly, I don't really care which, now that we've gotten rid of Indiana Stupid Time.

The Freedom avoided a letdown after winning the battle of the unbeatens last week, beating Peoria 52-32. I've got a few pictures that I'll be adding later. Also, Sioux City lost again, giving Fort Wayne a two-game lead in the home-field advantage race. Yeah, I know, the season isn't half done yet, but still.

The Komets forced a split at Muskegon after blowing a two-goal lead in Game 1. They now own home-ice advantage in the Colonial Cup finals. If you're an out-of-town reader laughing at my parochialism, bear in mind that the UHL is the second-highest tier of pro hockey being played this year.

Ian is the worst liar in the history of Survivor. Of course, that's an admirable trait in real life, and it's endearing that his integrity was worth enough to him to intentionally forfeit a chance to be in the final two (particularly since Tom made him exactly that offer about ten hours before). I thought for sure he was going to propose to Katie at the reunion show, but it looks like they aren't even dating. Congratulations to Tom, who survived his vulnerable moments, seized control of the game at the end, and had the good sense to pick the thoroughly-unlikeable Katie as his final opponent. Katie, a word of advice: if you crack on everybody but the person you're speaking to, it doesn't take a great deal of intelligence on their part to conclude that at some point when you're talking to someone else, you're cracking on them (I can diagram this out if you need me to). If it weren't for Coby's deep-seated need to stick it to the jock (heh), you wouldn't have gotten any votes at all!

Iron Chef: Battle Tuna

Theme Ingredient: Tuna
Iron Chef: Kobe
Challenger: Shinya Tasaki, 1995 world champion sommeiler
Remarks: Comments based on Food Network's October 22, 2000 airing of this battle

The challenger was Shinya Tasaki, who is not a chef but was the 1995 world champion sommelier (wine steward). He chose Iron Chef Italian Masahiko Kobe, specifically because he is the youngest IC and he thought he'd have the best chance against him. The theme ingredient was fatty tuna (chu-todo) harvested from the Mediterranean. The contestants would also have access to Chairman Kaga's wine collection.

Guest commentators were actress Naomi Kawashima and actor Masumi Okata, this time with his mustache. Kawashima 'keeps a well-known wine diary,' and I think that means she is knowledgeable about wines, since she made several insightful wine-related comments. However, in true BDJ style, she asked "Are we going to have wine with the meals?" The other judges were Lower House member Shinchiro Kurimoto and the unstoppable Asako Kishi.

Tasaki opened with a bang, literally, as he used a sword to open a bottle of champagne. This practice is known as sabre service or sabreage. Normally, challengers bring sous chefs from where they work; Tasaki had chefs helping him but where they came from was not mentioned. It sure looked like he was coasting at the end--he spent the last two minutes writing a menu with wine list--but in the post-cooking interview he said that he didn't have enough time to taste-test any of his dishes.

Challenger Tasaki presented five dishes:

1. Tuna steak tartare (marinated in champagne) served with Kristal Champagne (1990). Kurimoto said the smoky flavor was key to this dish.
2. Tuna on rice (a white wine-based sushi, rather than vinegar) served with Riesling (1990). This was made sweet to counter Kobe's pasta dish.
3. Tuna stewed in red wine and bitter chocolate, served with Chateau Monteus (1992). Okata really liked this one.
4. Grilled tuna in truffle sauce, served with Margues de Murrieta (1968).
5. Tuna dessert cassis flavor, served with Pinon des Charentis. Kawashima and Okata both liked this one.

Kobe presented four dishes:

1. Tuna appetizer in eggplant served with Donna Cora (1995) sparkling wine. Kobe marinated the tuna for this dish in Cinzano to reduce the fishy flavor. Kurimoto didn't think the tuna was center stage here, but Kawashima liked it that way.
2. Tuna gnocci.
3. Ham rolls and cutlet soup served with Poggio alle gazze (1996). This dish featured spelt wheat, a very rare kind of split wheat found in Toscan cuisine. Kurimoto didn't like it; Kawashima did.
4. Tuna pasta grill, served with Solare (1990). This was a very interesting dish--the tuna was stuffed (but I missed what was in the stuffing), then was covered in two large sheets of pasta. Kobe then pan-fried it for a couple of minutes to harden the pasta crust, then baked it. Okata loved it; Kishi called it 'a noble ingredient.' Kawashima thought a white wine would have been a better match.

The verdict: Kurimoto 19-17 Tasaki, Kawashima 19-18 Tasaki, Okata 18-16 Tasaki, Kishi 19-17 Kobe.

It's All Gone To Hell Since March 2003, And It's All Our Fault

If I didn't know better, I'd swear that Andrew Gilligan still has a job at the BBC writing headlines. How else would you explain a headline like Iraqi living standards 'plummet', with the clear implication that it's all the US's fault, when compared to the actual text of the article?

In 2004, a year after the fall of Saddam Hussein, some 22,000 households were questioned about their lives.

The study paints a "rather tragic situation of the quality of life", said Iraqi planning minister Barham Saleh.

He blamed the former regime, but the insecurity which has followed its fall is also seen as playing a key role.
. . .
It is highly likely that most households now have a lower real income than almost 25 years ago, said the report, entitled the Iraqi Living Conditions Survey 2004. [emphasis added]

Well, let's see. 25 years before 2004? That would be 1979. What happened in Iraq then? Hm, let me think.

Ah, yes. Now I remember.

Iron Chef: Battle Girls' Festival

Theme Ingredient: None, really. Clams, kinda. All is explained later.
Iron Chef: Sakai
Challenger: Motohito Kondo, Master Chef, Hifumi, Kamakura
Remarks: Funniest. Battle. Ever. Comments based on Food Network October 15, 2000 airing of this battle.

Girls' Festival is a Japanese festival honoring, well, girls. That's about all I know about it except that it occurred on March 3 in 1998 (and I don't even know if it's a fixed date like Christmas or a floating one like American Thanksgiving).

The challenger was Motohito Kondo, Master Chef of Hifumi in Kamakura, a city described as 'an ancient seaside capital.' Kondo is a Tea Ceremony master and a sake sommelier (I didn't know there were sake sommeliers, but it makes sense), and was an especially good choice for this particular battle, since his daughter turned 11 on that day. He challenged IC French Hiroyuki Sakai, whom the show inexplicably continues to refer to as 'the Delacroix of French cuisine.' I see their point, but the expression doesn't parse. It'd make a lot more sense to me to refer to him as 'the Kurosawa of French cuisine.' But I digress.

Chairman Kaga revealed no theme ingredient per se, challenging the chefs to create dishes honoring Girls' Festival from whatever happened to be lying around Kitchen Stadium, stipulating only that clams were a 'must have' since clamshells symbolize chastity in Japanese culture (stop. stop right there.). Granted, that still gave the chefs plenty to work with, but Sakai did mention that working without a theme ingredient was harder for him than he expected.

Instead of the normal two guest commentators and two regular judges, there were actually three guest commentators: 17-year-old actress Yumi Adachi, actress Naomi Hosokawa (who also appeared in Battle Strawberry), and Yoko Akino (a semi-regular). The ever-cuddly Asako Kishi would join them for the judging. Fukui's take on this: "A collection of judges covering the whole spectrum from high school through middle age and beyond." Well, if they can spend an entire episode cracking on a challenger's marital problems, then I guess this is pretty mild by comparison.

The girls hazarded a guess that a blender full of milk, cream, sugar, and eggs would be made into ice cream. Gee, you can't put a thing past them. Adachi: "The ice cream is turning around and around!" Fukui, revealing a heretofore unknown pederastic side, asked Adachi if she knew what 'chastity' meant. She said she did but offered no details.

This reminds me of an R-rated joke, so scroll ahead a bit if that prospect bothers you.

A kid's walking home from school one day when he finds a pair of welders goggles on the sidewalk. He picks them up and continues walking, and before long a stranger pulls up next to him and offers him a ride home. Not being the sharpest tool in the shed, the kid accepts.

"That's a neat pair of welding goggles you got there, kid."
"Thanks."
"Say, kid, do you know what 'pederasty' means?"
"No."
"Do you know what 'sodomy' means?"
"No."
"Do you know what 'oral copulation' means?"
"Mister, I just found the goggles - I'm not a welder!"

Back to live action. Fukui sounded disappointed that Adachi didn't want to discuss chastity. He also noted that Ohta wasn't breaking in as much as usual. Ohta's explanation: "With today's guests, it's hard to get a word in edgewise."

'Ama-me' was described as "A recently introduced (whatever that means) vegetable from Okinawa." 'Hishi-mochi' is a stacked dish wrapped in foil and baked in a long, narrow pan, then cut into diamond shapes that look much like baklava.

Challenger Kondo brought seven dishes to the table:
1. Sake cocktail. A low-alcohol sake was used, and the cocktail was deemed acceptable for Adachi.
2. Clam hors d'ouevre with soft roe and whitefish. Kishi quashed this one as being 'for adults.'
3. Marinated clams and vegetables. I think this is where the ama-me appeared. Akino: "Here you have a chunky texture and a slippery texture." Stop. Stop right there.
4. Girls' Festival stew with steamed rice cake. The rice cake was tri-colored: reddish pink, white, and brown, and it looked very much like Neapolitan ice cream. The different colors signify something that I couldn't write down fast enough.
5. Salmon grilled with sake. This was his main course. All the panelists thought the dish was too heavily herbed.
6. Abalone rice.
7. Sake with peach ice cream. flower_goddess thought that he was trying to get Adachi drunk since all the dishes used sake in some fashion.

Iron Chef Sakai fired back with five dishes:
1. Red snapper and tuna combo featuring hot bean paste. Stop. Stop right there. Kishi thought it was a bit hot for Girls' Festival.
2. Blowfish (stop. stop right there.) soft roe risotto. Akino thought the clams were a bit tough. Kishi would have liked to see it in a sake sauce rather than a white wine sauce. I don't think there was any sake left after Kondo was done with it.
3. Clam and vegetable soup.
4. Scallop spring rolls. Akino: "I'm enjoying this cream sauce very much." flower_goddess fell out of her chair laughing. Kishi: "This dish doesn't have much impact."
5. Peach Festival sorbet. Adachi: "It wobbles in my mouth!" Woo hoo! What a closing statement!

Fukui's voiceover before the last commercial break: "Which man measures up?" OK, I was wrong. That was the closing statement. The verdict? 3-1 to the Iron Chef: Adachi 18-17, Akino 20-19, and Kishi 18-17. Hosokawa voted 19-18 for Kondo.

Iron Chef is always funny, but this one is by far the funniest of the thirty or so eps I've seen. I don't know if the double entendres were purposeful, and I don't care. If you ever get a chance to see this episode, DO IT!

Short Attention Span Posting

Distracted by lots of shiny things so far today, and it shows:

The UAE cleverly catches a codeine smuggler using a dastardly new method: her own bloodstream!

A Schneider on Security post about whether showing 'all car bombings, all the time' on the news is the proper way to cover OIF attracts some truly chowderheaded comments:

piglet: He [Tiernan] only wants us to forget that there was no terrorism in Iraq before Bush took the "war on terror" there, and that the terrorists have been able to get huge amounts of explosives because the US army didn't care to guard them.

Since my definition of terrorism includes thugocracies, I would contend that Iraq was under terrorist rule from 1979-2003.

Michael Ahlers: All of this assumes the bombings in Iraq are acts of terrorism in the first place. The attacks seem to be aimed at strategic targets, not those which will impose a huge number of civilian casualties.

Bombs in markets. Coordinated attacks where a IED goes off, then terrorists ambush the first responders. Yeah, sure, strategic. Pull my other leg.

I have found my new favorite website: PETA Kills Animals (H/T doubleplusgood infotainment).

I was going to touch a few other bases, but something shiny just crossed my field of vision so I'd better post this while I'm still thinking about it.

It's A Right Turn To The Airport, So Turn Left

A couple of quick thoughts on last night's TAR finale.

1. FINALLY, they went someplace I've been to; specifically, Potters' Field Park in London:

The Tower Bridge is in the background (it's NOT the London Bridge, which is several hundred yards upriver to your left, and is just a regular concrete bridge now that the original is in Arizona), the Tower of London is across the Thames just out of the left side of the picture, and just off the right side of the picture is where David Blaine hung out for 40 days in the fall of 2003 (I was there on day 3 of his stunt and didn't know what all the fuss was about until I got to the hotel that evening and saw it on the news - it was still Britain's top story at that time).

2. Once the doors of an airliner are closed and the jetway is pulled back, that flight has DEPARTED. I've never heard of the pilot saying, "Uh, never mind, hook us up again so we can let two more people on." I have to admit that it sure looks suspicious, like the producers bribed American to allow two teams on the first flight so that we wouldn't have a boat race ending, and I say that as someone who really wanted Uchenna and Joyce to win.

Now Hiring; Only "Raven"s Need Apply

According to Freakonomics, here are the five most popular 'Low-End White Girl Names' in the 1990's:

1. Amber
2. Heather
3. Kayla
4. Stephanie
5. Alyssa

What a coincidence: substitute 'Jasmine' for 'Stephanie' and you've got the dancers roster at our local titty bar! Incidentally, but probably not coincidentally, Amber is the name of the model for my WTW logo!

I learned the above while perusing the book at the store (not the part about the dancers), but Slate has an excerpt that discusses the whole baby naming thing in a lot more detail. I especially like this observation:

There is a clear pattern at play: Once a name catches on among high-income, highly educated parents, it starts working its way down the socioeconomic ladder. Amber, Heather, and Stephanie started out as high-end names. For every high-end baby given those names, however, another five lower-income girls received those names within 10 years.

I have also commented on babynaming stupidity here and here.

It's White Trash Wednesday! Take the whole tour:

Iron Chef: Battle Chinese Cabbage

Theme Ingredient: Chinese Cabbage
Iron Chef: Chen
Challenger: Cui Yufen, Head Chef, Han-mei-fang, Tokyo
Remarks: ironchef.com was also used as a reference for this battle, mainly because I lost the second page of my notes. Comments refer to the Food Network 11/11/2000 airing of this battle.

Mao Zhedong once said "Chefs who create great food are treasures of the state." He established the Special Grade Certificate of State-Certified Chefs to certify the best chefs in the country. The top rank are referred to as Culinary Craftsmen. Three of these chefs work at Han-mei-fang, a Chinese restaurant in the Akasaka district of Tokyo. Ji Wenchen, Special Grade Chef, specializes in stir-frying. Hao Huizhi, Special Grade Chef, Culinary Craftsman, specializes in appetizers. The most highly regarded is Cui Yufen, also a Special Grade Chef, Culinary Craftsman. She is the head chef at Han-mei-fang, and had previously served as a chef catering to Mao Zhedong and Zhou Enlai. She challenged Chen, who seems to have been picked on a lot lately. The theme ingredient was Chinese cabbage, a staple of Chinese cuisine. This battle wasn't as simple as Chinese vs. Chinese; Chen is a Szechuan-style chef, and Yufen's speciality is Imperial cuisine, also called Peking-style. The guest commentators were actress Kayoko Kishimoto and singer Shinji Tanimura (making his first appearance in two years). The other judges were Lower House member Shinichiro Kurimoto (doesn't this guy ever actually spend any time in the Diet? On second thought, the country's probably better off this way) and the dominatrix, err, food critic, Asako Kishi.

Cui Yufen rocked the house with six dishes whose presentation knocked the judges' socks off:

1. Chinese cabbage in crepe, Imperial style. Shredded cabbage was wrapped in crepes and served with fried eggroll skins as garnish.
2. Prawns wrapped in cabbage. The prawn heads were boiled and the liquid drained off to produce a 'shanton' broth. Pickled cabbage was served as a side dish.
3. Rockfish stewed in naitan. This is a premier dish in Imperial Chinese cuisine, often served to visiting dignitaries. The fish is deep-fried, then cooked in naitan, then served on a fish-shaped plate. The name of the soup, naitan, is literally translated into Japanese as 'swimming lady.'
4. Mustard cabbage and diced pork. Chairman Mao's favorite. The judges seemed to cough when they ate it (too spicy?) but said they liked it.
5. Cabbage soup. A clear soup with cabbage chunks; Zhou Enlai's favorite.
6. Diced pears and cabbage hearts. For reasons not disclosed, Chinese Chinese cabbage isn't as bitter as American Chinese cabbage, so you can get away with using it in a dessert.

Chen countered with five:

1. Cabbage hors d'oeuvre with mushrooms. Something (can't remember) was used to control the sourness.
2. Cabbage spring roll. "The soft and fluffy texture creates a new harmony with the chenpi." I don't know what chenpi is, and they didn't explain. Chen used sheets of bean curd instead of dough to wrap the spring rolls.
3. Chinese cabbage stew with crab meat. "Grated carrots and crab meat add depth, body, and visual impact." This is the dish that he's cooking in the show open--the one where it looks like he almost dropped it on the floor. The orange color comes from carrots.
4. Cabbage, pork belly, and red snapper cooked in a clay pot. He made a fiery broth featuring (for Chen, what else?) hot bean paste, saying it was his hottest sauce ever.
5. Sauteed cabbage and soup. "The crispy texture of the cabbage matches with an oyster sauce." Sesame seed oil and boiled rice were served on the side.

Cui Yufen won the battle 4-0. Kurimoto 20-19, Kishimoto 20-19, Tamimura 19-18, and Kishi 19-17. 78 points total for Cui; I don't think I've ever seen a challenger score that high. Even the great Ron Siegel (Battle Lobster) only totalled 77. Note also Kishi giving the challenger a two-point margin; that's almost unheard of.

Somebody Has To Win, Even If They Try Not To

We took a few minutes before the reception Saturday to watch the Kentucky Derby. Of course, by know everybody knows that the winner and second-place horse were both REALLY long shots, but when I saw that the fourth-place horse was another long shot, I started wondering what the superfecta would have paid, and if anybody won it. The answers are, in order, 'over $860K' and 'yes, seven winners':

Hertzog bought one of seven $1 tickets to hit the Kentucky Derby superfecta, which yielded the highest payout in Derby history. Two of the other winning tickets were sold in New Jersey, one each was sold at Philadelphia Park and Suffolk Downs and two others came through clearinghouses in Maine and Nevada, said Churchill Downs spokesman John Asher.

The gigantic payoffs came after 50-1 long shot Giacomo sprang the second biggest upset in Derby history, edging 72-1 longer shot Closing Argument. Afleet Alex, one of the favorites with odds of 4.5-1, finished third. Another long shot, 30-1 Don't Get Mad, was fourth.

And winner Chris Hertzog has a story of his own:

Hertzog figured all was lost as he sifted through the trash at Turf Paradise, frantically searching for his winning Kentucky Derby supefecta ticket. The Phoenix firefighter gave up after two hours, wondering how he could've let $864,253.50 slip away.

''I couldn't believe I lost this once in a lifetime payday,'' the 39-year-old Hertzog said in a statement released through the track on Monday.

According to Turf Paradise, the mutuel clerk who sold him the ticket came to the rescue on Sunday, finding the misplaced slip of paper next to the machine where Hertzog had placed the wager the previous day.

''Don't you just love happy endings?'' Hertzog said.

. . .

Hertzog made 100 $1 bets _ 50 superfectas and 50 trifectas _ all in random computer-generated quick picks. When he thought he'd lost after the Derby, he left the tickets on a table and walked off.

Later, according to Turf Paradise, a track official told mutuel clerk Brenda Reagan that her machine had spit out a superfecta winner. Track owner Jack Simms told Hertzog, but when he returned to the table, the tickets were gone.

''I couldn't believe it,'' he said.

Maintenance crews gathered all the garbage bags in the clubhouse and Hertzog and others picked through them with no luck.

The next day, Reagan noticed two tickets lying next to her machine, according to track officials. One of them was Hertzog's winner.

''When I punched Chris' tickets, there were so many that they bunched up and these two must have fallen on the side,'' she said in a release from the track.

After taxes, Hertzog walked away with over $604,000.

Iron Chef: Battle Bean Sprouts

Theme Ingredient: Bean Sprouts
Iron Chef: Chen
Challenger: Takeshi Ohkubo, Head Chef of Kinachi China in Ginza
Remarks: $10,000 worth of Daioh sprouts was used. Comments based on the Food Network 12/8/2000 airing of this battle.

Kihachi Kumagai is the CEO of the Kihachi Group, a chain of about twenty Western- and Chinese-style restaurants throughout Japan. He has said that there are three basic styles of cuisine: Japanese, Chinese, and Western (which I consider to be a very racist statement, especially if you consider this hypothetical converse: "There are three basic styles of cuisine: French, Italian, and Asian."). This was his group's third try to topple an Iron Chef; they were 0-2 coming in. His chosen man for this battle was Takeshi Ohkubo, Head Chef of Kinachi China in Ginza. He went after Chen, so we had yet another Cantonese-Szechuan battle. The theme ingredient for this battle was bean sprouts, called "the shark fin of the field". 5kg each of three different kinds of sprouts were provided: Daioh sprouts, which run USD2000 per kilo (eesh!--typical sprout prices are USD5-10 per kilo) and are grown in only one place in Japan, regular bean sprouts, and soybean sprouts. Guest commentators were actress Akiko Hinagata, last seen in the Valentine dessert battle, and singer Takao Horiuchi. The other judges were alleged Lower House member Shinichiro Kurimoto and chanson singer Yoshiko Ishii.

Ohkubo put together six dishes in this battle:

1. Stir-fried bean sprouts with cheese and egg whites. Cream, corn starch, egg white, bean sprouts, abalone liver, stir-fried rice, and soybean sprouts (heads only). Kurimoto called this dish "A great way to start."
2. Bean sprouts shabu-shabu. This dish used Daioh sprouts.
3. Stir-fried bean sprouts and basil. The sauce was made with basil, chili oil, fish soy sauce, hot bean paste, sugar, sesame seeds, tofu, garlic, regular soy sauce, and ginger (whew!). Horiuchi thought it was a "luxurious dish;" Hinagata liked it too.
4. Bean sprouts and yuba, Peking duck style.
5. Red snapper grilled in bean sprouts. Molojan (I think; I don't know what that is) stuffed red snapper covered in sprouts, garlic, leeks, and olive oil, then wrapped in foil and grilled in a manner similar to a salt-crust grill. Kurimoto: "Fantastic; great stuff;" Horiuchi concurred.
6. Stone-grilled bean sprouts. The sprouts on top were raw, designed to be cooked by hot oil in the stone bowls. This may have been the clincher, although it looked like the tasters were getting hit with drops of hot oil. They all liked it. Horiuchi declared "game over" after tasting it.

Chen also presented six dishes:

1. Raw spring rolls. Chen removed the heads and tails of the sprouts for one dish (I think it was this one), which made it more like 'royal' cuisine.
2. Stir-fried bean sprouts and stewed shark fin. [Chinese rice wine added] Kurimoto said the dish "matches well with the sauce. Truly a great dish."
3. Soft stir-fried bean sprouts. Omar lobster, lobster brain, egg white, evaporated milk, chinton soup, cornstarch, naitan soup fried to a merengue-like consistency, then topped with all three sprouts and chicken soup powder (?!?).
4. Bean sprout soup. Soybean sprouts, chinese rice wine, chili oil, chinese pickles, chinese ham, chinton soup, and naitan soup. Well-received by all tasters.
5. Bean sprout fried noodles. The noodles were first steamed, then fried to get the right consistency. Horiuchi thought the noodles were too crispy and the sprouts got lost in the dish, but Kurimoto liked it.
6. Bean sprouts in wine jelly. Red wine, sugar, honey, and Daioh sprouts made up this dish.

Chen lost this battle, marking the first time he'd ever lost two in a row. Voting for the challenger were Hinagata (19-18), Horiuchi (20-19), and Ishii (18-17); Kurimoto scored it 19-18 for Chen.

Hitch 'Em Up, Move 'Em Out

The weather was glorious for BB and Mountaineer's wedding on Saturday (alluded to here): upper 70's with sun-and-clouds and a nice breeze. flower_goddess coordinated the event, and (per usual) had everything ready to go by W-10 minutes, including as many official pictures as we (by which I mean 'I') could take without prematurely colocating bride and groom.

Unfortunately, nobody briefed the Justice of the Peace on the importance of punctuality; he arrived at W+10.

Despite the personal satisfaction that would have been derived from reading the Riot Act to a judge (not to mention scoring 2300 Irony Points), we refrained from doing so because it's hard to coordinate a wedding from the county lockup. And this guy didn't look anything like any judge I've ever known: fiftyish with flowing blonde hair and a tanned, weather-worn face that made we wonder whether he'd spent the past thirty years on a longboard off Dana Point. I half-expected him to be wearing board shorts and Tevas under his robe, and for the ceremony to go something like this:

"Sistas and brahs, we're gathered here on this most excellent Saturday afternoon to hook up BB and Mountaineer. BB, do you take Mountaineer to be your dude?"
"Sha."
"Awesome. Mountaineer, do you take BB to be your emma?"
"Totally."
"Righteous. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Kahuna and Betty. Surf's up!"

But no. It was a fairly conventional outdoor civil service; the biggest surprise was unfortunate ground conditions that forced BB to abandon her shoes and go barefoot down the aisle (and her dress was long enough that nobody saw it).

The reception was excellent but uneventful by Neighborhood standards; despite the fact that the single police officer originally present was augmented by two compatriots as the night went on, nobody got a bracelet ride (at least as far as I know). We capped things off with the mandatory drunken circle-dance sing-along with 'Friends In Low Places.'

Iron Chef: Battle Lobster

Theme Ingredient: Lobster
Iron Chef: Sakai
Challenger: Ron Siegel, Master Chef at Charles of San Francisco
Remarks: My comments are based on the October 29, 2000 airing of this episode, so take that into consideration when reading. Sakai was riding a 6-battle winning streak, but he had lost his previous two lobster battles.

I've really been looking forward to this episode; friends of mine who've been watching longer than I have say it's one of the best ever. The challenger was Ron Siegel, Master Chef at Charles of San Francisco. He was personally recommended by Mayor Willie Brown, who said "Dining on his food is like viewing a fine Picasso." Ron himself certainly isn't lacking for confidence. In the pre-battle interview, he said "And I feel like you picked the right person and I'm going to bring the gold back to the USA." Ron's speciality is California-style French cuisine, which balances salty and sweet flavors. He challenged Sakai, who had won his previous six battles but had lost his previous two involving lobster. Chairman Kaga selected lobster as the theme ingredient because it is a very popular item in California cuisine. Forty lobsters from Canada were used.

Actress Aiko Morishita, in her first appearance as a guest commentator, thought Kitchen Stadium was really intimidating. She has had lobster before, but, in true Bimbo Du Jour style, can't remember how she cooked it. Singer Kazuhiko Katoh, dressed more conservatively than his previous appearance (but sporting a fez-like hat he called a 'pajama hat') was the other guest commentator. He likes lobster sashimi. The other two judges were photographer Tenmei Kanoh and 'fortune teller' Kazuko Hosoki.

In keeping with Iron Chef tradition of soaking the show for all it's worth (Chen in particular is famous for opening a case of caviar whether he plans to use it or not, since the show lets him take the rest back to his restaurant), Sakai planned to use a large quantity of Matsutake mushrooms (20 of them, total price USD1500!). Siegel's sous chefs were Japanese, which was a problem because he knew only two words of Japanese: doke: 'get out of my way,' and isoke: 'move it'. Hattori noted that depending on the inflection, those could be considered 'roughneck' words and that whoever taught Ron them should be held accountable. Ron nicknamed his sous chefs 'Teddy' and 'Katz' and was eventually able to get things straight with them. According to Ohta, Siegel used 3-5 times as many herbs as other chefs on the show use; he said this was because the vegetables he had to work with weren't as aromatic as he was accustomed to, so he had to cheat a bit.

Siegel's dishes:

1. Egg royale. This was lobster custard served with caviar and a burdock stalk in eggshells over rice. Katoh and Kanoh both thought the presentation was more Japanese than French, and were pleased that Siegel could do that. Hosoki liked it too.
2. Lobster cream soup with scallops & truffles. Both Kanoh and Katoh liked this very much.
3. California salad with lobster, basil oil, tomato concasse, and avocado. Siegel boiled the lobster tails in about five pounds(!) of butter, without skewering them to keep them straight, and the curved look was interesting. Hosoki thought it was 'the ultimate.'
4. Lobster ravioli with sweet corn sauce. He used five different herbs to season this dish. Hosoki thought it was 'very good, really good'. Morishita said she wasn't expecting much of him but stood corrected. Kanoh said he'd thought the Japanese had the best taste buds in the world, but had his eyes opened.
5. Lobster & foie gras in fig sauce. The sauce was port wine boiled with figs, then the figs were removed and butter added and reduced. The foie-gras was grilled first, then pan-fried. I've heard that Chen was sampling this sauce after the show.

Sakai's dishes:

1. Seafood gratin soup. This was served with lobster-stuffed wonton on the side. Katoh and Kanoh compared this to Siegel's lobster cream soup.
2. Lobster and matsutake combo. Sliced lobster tail and thinly sliced and lightly pan-fried truffle were sandwiched between sliced matsusake mushrooms. Morishita liked the change of pace to Japanese style after so many French dishes. Katoh didn't like the matsusake mushrooms so much.
3. Lobster mousse with truffles. Sakai used scampi prawns to sweeten the dish and served it with a sauce made from morels, exo sauce, boiled lobster heads, saffron, and olive oil. Hosoki: "This is our eighth lobster dish, and my tongue is a bit tired, but this is wonderful." Morishita: "I'm getting full, but I can't stop eating this."
4. Lobster salad, Japanese flavor. The sauce for this was strained pureed carrots with orange juice.

The verdict? 4-0 to Siegel: Kanoh and Morishita 20-19, Katoh 18-17, Hosoki 19-18. Sakai noted that he knew the tasters liked heavy flavors and leaned his dishes that way; it may have backfired on him as he lost his third lobster battle in a row. In a break from normal show layout, Ohta interviewed the judges afterwards; Kano said the soup was key and that Siegel's, which used lobster sweetbread (a part around the throat that goes away as the lobster gets older) was 'perfect.' Katoh was impressed with his taste and combination of elements, and Hosoki said he was bold, with sophisticated and elegant presentation.

Take Your Break, Comrade... Or Else.

If you work at the local GM plant, and you choose to work during your break, your union bretheren won't like it:

General Motors Corp. and UAW Local 2209 are investigating an April 29 complaint that a union member wielded a two-by-four at co-workers who were voluntarily working during their break time at the southwest Allen County plant.

According to a report filed by the Allen County Sheriff’s Department, a witness told responding officers that “there is an ongoing problem” at the plant. “Those that choose to work during their breaks are harassed and intimidated by others who are in the union but do not agree (with) working during breaks,” the report states.

But why would you want to work during your break? Because there's extra money in it!

Working during breaks isn’t new, [president of United Auto Workers Local 2209 Don] Swegman said. When the production line is behind schedule, employees in that area are offered the chance to work during their breaks for overtime pay, which amounts to time and a half.

[GM spokeswoman Pam] Reese said the opportunity to earn extra money varies depending on the production schedule but doesn’t always fall on the same department. Swegman agreed.

The local union president said the company is within the parameters of its contract with the union when it makes such work available. [empahsis added]

It's extra money, the company's cool with it, the union's cool with it. What's not to like?

But some GM workers apparently resent those who choose to work during breaks. Union workers traditionally refer to people who cross picket lines to work as “scabs.” According to the police report, the workers who were intimidating others were calling them “scabs.”

I must have missed the point where the union rank-and-file decided to become communists, because the only possible explanation for this is that they want to punish people who work hard. And speaking of communists,

Catherine Mulder, an assistant professor of labor studies at Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne, said anytime that many people are working together, tensions will crop up.

“There are going to be personality conflicts,” she said. “It doesn’t seem like a big issue to me. It could happen in grammar school. It could happen anywhere.”

In fact, Mulder said, union shops often have less conflict than non-union shops because members have a sense of solidarity and well-defined work rules meant to ensure that people are treated fairly rather than rewarded based on how much management likes them.

Hey, prof, did you even hear what you said? '[R]ather than rewarded based on how much management likes them?' What about 'punished by their co-workers for trying to excel?'

This is yet another reason why unions have far outgrown their usefulness.

Iron Chef: Battle Banana

Theme Ingredient: Banana
Iron Chef: Kobe
Challenger: Hironobu Tsujiguchi, chef at Mont St. Clair in Jiyugaoka. Winner of 1998 World Cup of Desserts.
Remarks: $6000 worth of chocolate also used. Kobe's first dessert battle.

For the episode that aired Valentine's Day 1998 in Japan, Iron Chef staged a dessert battle. Hironobu Tsujiguchi won the 1998 World Cup of Desserts, the youngest patassier (dessert chef) to do so. He's also won seven other world-class competitions. He cooks at Mont St. Clair in Jiyugaoka. He challenged IC Italian Masahiko Kobe, who had not yet been in a dessert battle. Tsujiguchi was even more confident than Ron Siegel was, saying "I'm definitely going to win!" Bananas were the theme ingredient, and $6,000 worth of top-quality French chocolate (half of it melted in a big pot) was also available. Ten bunches of ripe Taiwan bananas, five of unripe Taiwan bananas (conventional supermarket-style), five of monkey bananas (smaller), and five of brown bananas (which need to be cooked because they're too bitter to be eaten raw) were used. Kobe remarked that he's unaccustomed to working with chocolate, which I think is odd for a European-style chef, but they don't celebrate Valentine's Day in Italy so he didn't have much to go on there. Kobe got out-sprinted to the ingredient stand, the first time I can remember that happening. Actress Akiko Hinagata (in her first appearance) and ballet dancer Tetsuya Kumakawa (in his first appearance) were the guest commentators. Lower house member Shinichiro Kurimoto and the stalwart Asako Kishi were the other judges.

Tsujiguchi propped his helpers in the post-cooking interview, one of the only chefs I've heard to do so. His theme was 'Valentine's Day Desserts for the 21st Century':

1. Caprice chocolates and bananas. Hinagata said 'He doesn't have too much here, so it's easy to eat!'
2. Grilled banana with chocolate. Split whole bananas stuffed with butter and a vanilla bean and grilled with thyme (a new trend in France). Kishi compared it favorably to a dish from her childhood, while pointing out that the challenger's version was definitly 'a dish for adults.' Kumakawa made one of many references to his own youth here. I was ready to boot him back to grade school after the seventh or eighth one.
3. Corona chocolate dessert. Earl Gray tea was used as the base, and it was garnished with Japanese honeywort.
4. Melting chocolate dessert. This was a variant of one of the dishes he used to win the World Cup. He used bitter chocolate and vanilla from Tahiti and garnished it with hard candy 'sculptures,' which the tasters loved. For some reason, Hinagata was surprised that the accompanying cake, which had been baked, was so hot.

Kobe's theme was 'Whispers of Love':

1. Chocolate dip, three flavors. Wine, green tea, and herb base were the three dipping sauces for the grilled banana in this Thai-style presentation. Hinagata liked the tea dip. Kishi liked that it was char-broiled.
2. Banana pudding and chocolate. Unripe green bananas and balsamic vinegar added flavoring elements.
3. Banana peperoncino. Designed to clear the palate, it includes banana and white chocolate. Kurimoto called it 'punchy' and liked its placement at this point of the tasting but thought it would be too strong if served alone.
4. Cocoa ravioli. He formed the ravioli into a heart shape, and used pureed banana and gorgonzola cheese for the sauce. Kaga thought the color was 'unappetizing,' and Kurimoto didn't like the color either, although he loved the sauce. Kishi called this one another dish for grownups.
5. Chocolate banana gratin. The chocolate he used in the gratin was designed to make it a bit bitter, to draw out the sweetness of the dipping sauce. Kurimoto saw what he was trying to do, but didn't like it.

Tsujiguchi won 3-1: Kurimoto 17-16, Hinagata 18-16, and Kumakawa 18-14(!). Kishi scored it 19-17 Kobe. This marked the first time a challenger beat an Iron Chef in a dessert battle.

So Maybe They Want To Read About More Than Just Cod Roe

I'm getting another batch of fresh hits on my Cod Roe Iron Chef recap, so I think it's time to bring the rest out of the archives. Back in 2000, I wrote about two dozen Iron Chef episode recaps for Pyroto Mountain, a combination trivia/political game and online community. I've haven't played Pyroto for years, but I still have the recaps. I'll be converting them into blog entries over the next few weeks, starting with Battle Banana, which I expect to have later today.

And of course this is as good a time as any to mention my IC parody episode.

Now It Can Be Told

The Jeopardy method of studying from your notes, where you form questions based on your notes and use them as test prep later, is one facet of the Cornell Notetaking System (I've also written about it here). It also works for most textbooks. Now that the semester's ended, I present the questions I derived from most chapters of CISSP All-in-One Exam Guide, Second Edition by Shon Harris. Out of deference to those readers who don't care about the CISSP exam (and also because it's about 900 questions), I present it below the fold. You can also visit it directly as a text file.

==> Note:  the level of detail of the questions of p222-p240 is higher (i.e., less detailed) than elsewhere, due to the requirements of the class I was orignally taking with this book.  


===== Chapter 4 - Access Control

107
- What is 'access?' A subject?  An object?
- What are access controls? (also 108)
108-109
- What are the three main security principles?
- What is availability?
- What is integrity?
110-111
- What is confidentiality?
- Why should a company encrypt only critical data, as opposed to everything including the cafeteria menu?
- What three steps need to happen to allow a subject to access an object (and describe each step)?
- What are logical access controls?
112-113
- What are the three authentication factors?
- How many authentication factors are used in strong authentication?
- What is biometric?
- What is it called when a biometric system rejects an authorized individual?  Vice versa?
- What is the CER, and how does it pertain to the accuracy of biometric authentication systems? (also 114)
114-115-116
- What are some barriers to the acceptance of biometric authentication?
- What are the characteristics of these biometric authentication systems:
  > fingerprint (and what's the key term here?)
  > finger scan
  > palm scan
  > hand geometry
  > retina scan
  > iris scan
  > signature dynamics
  > keyboard dynamics
  > voiceprint
  > facial scan
  > hand topology
117
- Why are passwords considered a weak security method?
- Why shouldn't automatic password generators just pump out a 20 character string of random characters?  What's a good guideline for a password generator?
- How should the password file on an authentication server be protected?
- What's a dictionary attack?
- What's the usefulness of displaying the date/time of a user's most recent login when they log in?
- What's a clipping level?
118-119 
- What is a password checker?
- What is password aging?
- What is a cognitive password?
- What is a dynamic password?  What other name is it known by?
- What's a token device?
- What are the two types of synchronous token authentication?
120-121
- What are the differences between synchronous and asynchronous token authentication?
- What is a passphrase and what does the application transform it into?
- What is the difference between a memory card and a smart card?
122-123
- What's the difference between authentication and authorization?
124-125
- What are some criteria used to define access?
- From a security standpoint, what is the best default action for access?
- What is the least-privilege principle?
- What is 'need-to-know?'
126-127
- What is single sign-on and why is it so difficult to implement? (also 128)
128-129
- Describe the 'scripting' implementation of single sign-on.
- What is Kerberos?  What kind of cryptography and security does it use?
- What is a Kerberos KDC?
130-131
- In Kerberos, what is a principal?
- What is the purpose of a ticket in Kerberos?
- What is a realm in Kerberos?
- Give an example of the Kerberos authentication process.
- In Kerberos, what's the difference between a secret key and a session key?
- What is a Kerberos AS and TGS?
- If a Kerberos implementation is configured to use an authenticator, what additional security measure is taken and what attack does it combat?
132-133
- What are some drawbacks to Kerberos?
- What is SESAME and how is it different from Kerberos?
- What is a PAC and PAS in SESAME?
- How do thin clients enforce access control?
- What is a network directory service?
134-135
- What are LDAP, NDS, and Active Directory?
- What is an access control model?  What are the three main types?
- How does DAC restrict access to data?
136-137
- How does MAC restrict access to data, and what system is it based on?
- How does RBAC restrict access to data, and what other name is it known by?
138-139
- Which model is best suited for companies with high employee turnover?
- What are role-based, task-based, and lattice-based access?
140-141
- What is rules-based access control?
- What is a constrained user interface, and how is a database view related to it?
- What is an access control matrix, and what model is it usually found in?
- What is a capability table, and how is it different from an ACL? (also 142)
142-143
- What is content-dependent access control?
144-145
- What is centralized access control administration?
- What is RADIUS?  Describe an example of it in use.
- What are TACACS, XTACACS, and TACACS+?  Describe an example of it in use.
146-147
- What is Diameter and how does it improve on RADIUS and TACACS?
- What is decentralized access control administration?  Why would a company use it instead of centralized administration? (also 144)
- What are the advantages of a hybrid administration scheme?
148-149
- What are the three categories of access control?  Give some examples of each.
- What is a security policy?
- What is separation of duties?
150-151
152-153
154-155
- What is a control zone, and how is it different from just having a dedicated machine room?
156-157
158-159
- What are the types of access control?  Give an example of each. (also 160)
160-161
162-163
- What is an audit reduction and why is it useful?
164-165
- What are some 'best practices' in the access control arena?
166-167
- What is object reuse and how can it be a security risk?
- What is Tempest?
168-169
- What is IDS?  What are the two kinds?
- What is signature-based IDS and what is its major weakness?
- What is behavior-based IDS, and how does a TIM factor into it?
170-171
- What is a honeypot?
- What's the difference between enticement and entrapment?
- What's a sniffer, and how can either side use them?
172-173
- What's a dictionary attack?  What are some countermeasures?
- What's a brute force attack? What are some countermeasures?
174-175
- What's wardialing?
- What's logon spoofing?  What are some countermeasures?  What's a trusted path?
- What is penetration testing?

===== Chapter 5 - Security Models and Architecture
185
- What is a security model? (also 210-211)
- What are the three main attributes of computer security?
188-189
- How does a buffer overflow attack work?
190-191
- How is memory management important to computer security?
- What is secondary storage?  Virtual storage?
- What is paging?
192-193
- What are protection rings?  What's the general term for processes that execute in the inner rings?  The outer rings?
194-195
- What runs at ring 0? 1? 2? 3?
- How does an application running on a lower ring access functionality provided by a higher ring?
196-197
- What operating states can a process be in?
198-199
- What's the difference between multithreading and multiprocessing?
- In terms of device management, why is WinNT safer than Win9x?
- What is a deadlock?
200-201
- Where are the three main areas security can happen when a user accesses data?
- As the complexity increases, does security become more or less certain?  Why / why not?
- What does it mean for a component to be trusted?  
- Should you design a system such that all components can be trusted?  Why or why not? (also 203)
202-203
- What is the TCB?
- What is the security perimeter?
204-205
- What is the reference monitor?
- What is the security kernel?  What does it have to do?  How does it relate to the reference monitor concept?
206-207
- In security terms, what is a domain?  What is an execution domain?
208-209
- What is hardware segmentation and how does it contribute to security?
- What is a security policy?
- What is the security kernel?
- What do multilevel security policies do?
- What is the concept of least privilege?
210-211
- What is layering and how does it provide security?
- What is data hiding and how is connected to layering?
- What is abstraction?
212-213
- How does the state machine model apply to security?
- Why is failing in a secure state important?
- What is a multilevel security system?
- What is Bell-LaPadula and what are its three main rules?
- What is an information flow security model?
- What is the simple security rule?  By what other term is it known?
- What is the *-property rule?  By what other term is it known?  Why is it important?
- What is the strong star property rule?
214-215
- What is the Basic Security Theorem?
- What security service does Bell-LaPadula provide?
- What are some criticisms of the Bell-LaPadula model?
- What is the Biba model?  What are its two main rules?
- The rules of the Biba model seem counterintuitive.  Why are they the way they are?
216-217
- In general, what does a 'simple-' rule describe?  A 'star-' or '*'- rule?
- What is the Clark-Wilson model and what does it emphasize?
- What is 'access triple' and why is it called that?
- What is separation of duties?
- What are the three main goals of integrity?  Which one(s) is/are emphasized by Clark-Wilson?  By Biba?
- What generic model were both Biba and Bell-LaPadula built upon?
- What is the noninterference model and how does it enforce confidentiality?
218-219
- What is the Brewer and Nash model?  What other name is it known by?
- What issues do the Graham-Denning and Harrison-Rizzo-Ullman models address?  How do they differ?
[great summary on 219]
220-221
- What is dedicated security mode?
- What is system-high security mode?  How is it different from dedicated security mode?
- What is compartmented security mode?  How is it different from system-high?
- What is multilevel security mode?  Which model is an example of it?
222-223
- What's the difference between assurance and trust?
- What is TCSEC?  What other name is it known by?
- What's A-level security? B? C? D?
- T/F: B1 is a superset of B2?
- What are the four main topics of the Orange Book?
- What seven different areas do they break down into?
224-225
- What is NCSC?  TPEP? EPL?
- What is C1?
- What is C2?
- What model are Division B levels based on?  What other evidence must be present?
- What is B1?
- What is B2?
226-227
- What is B3?
- What's the difference between A1 and B3?
- What are some of the limitations of the Orange Book?
228-229
- What's the TNI?  What is its other name?
- What Red Book ratings are available?
- What replaced TCSEC?
- What is ITSEC?  Where is it used? What are its two main attributes?
230-231
- What is the fundamental difference between ITSEC and TCSEC?
- What are the rating scales for ITSEC?
- What is the TOE?
- What are the Common Criteria? Who developed?
- What's the biggest difference between Common Criteria and the Orange Book?
- What is EAL?  How many packages are there?
232-233
- What is a protection profile?
- What is the security target?
234-235
- What's the difference between certification and accreditation?
- What is ISO I7799?  What was it originally called?
236-237
- What's the difference between open systems and closed systems?
- What are covert channels and why are they security risks?
- What is a covert storage channel?
- What is the Loki attack?
238-239
- How can you try to detect covert channel attacks?
- What's a backdoor?  What other name is it known by?
- What are some countermeasures against backdoors?
- What's an asynchronous attack?
- What's a TOC/TOU attack?
- What's a race condition?
240-241
- What's a buffer overflow?  How can it be exploited?
- What are some countermeasures against buffer overflow attacks?

===== Chapter 6 - Physical Security

p253-254
- What are some mechanisms of physical security?
- Why is physical security more challenging today than in the '60s and '70s?
- Why are physical computer incidents today raising costs for companies?
- What is the layered defense model, and why is it important?
- What are some physical security vulnerabilities?
p255-256
- What is an EAC token and what is it used for?
- What is a critical-path analysis?
- What kinds of controls fall under the physical security umbrella?
p258-259
- What are some of the issues with selecting a facility site?
- What are some of the issues with designing and building a facility?
p260-261
- What is an internal partition and what is its main vulnerability?
- Where in a building should data centers be located?  Why?
p262-263
- In the past, personnel were needed in computer rooms for proper operation.  Why isn't that the case now, and what changes in computer room design are now possible?
- Why should there be only one, dedicated, entry to a secured computer room?
p264-265
- What main threats do physical security components combat?
- Why is a cost-benefit analysis of physical security important?
- What physical security procedures use security components that are already part of the environment?
p266-267
- Why shouldn't you try to back up every piece of data on every computer?
- What is an SLA and why are the details important?
- What is MTBF? What is MTTR?  Why is knowing both necessary when evaluating hardware for purchase?
p268-269
- What are the three main methods of protecting against power problems?
- What's the difference between an online UPS and a standby UPS?
- What are the two primary sources of backup power?
- What factors should be considered when evaluating secondary power?
- Define the following: EMI, RFI, (transient) noise, inrush current, clean power
- What can induce EMI?  RFI?
p270-271
- Define spike, surge, fault, blackout, sag/dip, brownout
- What two kinds of devices are typically used to ensure clean power?
p272-273
- What are some preventative measures for power management?
- How does job rotation or cross-training serve as a kind of backup?
- What steps should typically be taken when a technical employee leaves or gives notice?
p274-275
- What is a positive drain?
- What are five preventative steps against static electricity?
- What's the proper range for relative humidity?  What are the risks if it is too high or too low?
- What's the proper temperature range?  What are the risks if it is too high or too low?
p276-277
- What is a closed-loop circulation system?
- What is positive pressurization?  Is it desirable for data centers?
- What are the four classes of fire?
p278-279
- What are the three kinds of fire detectors?
- What are the two different kinds of heat-activated sensors?
p280-281
- What distinugishes plenum-rated cable from other kinds?
- For each class of fire, what is the type of fire what is the suppression method?
- What are some dangers of using CO2 as a supression agent?
- Why is Halon no longer made?
p282-283
- What are the four types of water sprinkler systems and what are their distinguishing characteristics?
- What is another name for a 'wet pipe' system?
p284-285
- Summarize emergency planning.
p286-287
- What are the two main modes of perimeter defense?
- How can personnel assigned to sensitive areas help with perimeter defense?
- What is a disadvantage of a lock-and-key system?
p287-288
- Describe the following options for cypher-lock systems: door delay, key-override, master-keying, hostage alarm.
- Describe the following device locks: switch controls, slot locks, port controls, peripheral switch controls, cable traps.
p290-291
- What is piggybacking?
- What are the two types of wireless proximity readers?
- What are the three kinds of system sensing cards?
p292-293
- What is PIDAS fencing?
- At what height and characteristics is a fence considered serious for area denial?
- What are bollards and where are they used?
- What is the NIST standard for perimeter protection for lighting critical areas?
p294-295
- Describe the five types of perimeter scanning devices.
p296-297
- What is a mantrap?
p298-299
- What information should be kept in the audit log of access control systems?
- What is fail-safe?  Fail-secure?


===== Chapter 7 - Telecommunications and Networking Security
312-313
- What is a PSTN?
- What is ATM?
- What is TCP/IP? (also p325)
- What is a network protocol?
314-315
- What are the layers of the OSI and TCP/IP models and how do they map together?
- What is an open network architecture?
- What is encapsulation?
316-317
- What is the purpose of the application layer?
- What protocols work at the application layer? (also p323)
- Does the application layer include the actual applications?
- What is the purpose of the presentation layer?
- What protocols work at the presentation layer? (also p323)
318-319
- What is the purpose of the session layer?
- What protocols work at the session layer? (also p323)
- What's a good analogy for the session layer?
- What are the three phases of session layer operation?
- What is dialog management?
- What is the purpose of the transport layer?
- What protocols work at the transport layer? (also p323)
- What's the difference between the functions of the transport layer and the session layer?
- What is UDP?
- What is SPX?
320-321
- What is the purpose of the network layer?
- What protocols work at the network layer? (also p324)
- What is ICMP? RIP? OSPF? BGP? IGMP?
- What is the purpose of the data link layer?
- What protocols work at the data link layer? (also p324)
- What are the two sublayers of the data link layer?
- What is FDDI?
- What is SLIP?  PPP? RARP? L2F? L2TP? ISDN?
322-323
- What is the purpose of the physical layer?
- What protocols work at the physical layer? (also p324)
324-325
- The 'IP' in TCP/IP provides "____________ routing services."
326-327
- What are the two main tasks of IP?
- Is TCP a connectionless protocol or a connection-oriented protocol?  What does that mean?
- What is UDP?  Is it a connectionless or connection-oriented protocol?  What does that mean?
- What is best-effort?
- Apply the postal system analogy to the Data, IP, and Network components of IP.
- Is TCP simplex, half-duplex, or full-duplex?
- What are some tradeoffs of using UDP vs. TCP?
- What is a socket?
328-329
- What are port numbers up to 1024 called?  Why?
- What ports are the following protocols usually mapped to: Telnet, SMTP, HTTP, SNMP, FTP?
- Differentiate between TCP and UDP according to reliability, connection, packet sequencing, congestion control, usage, and speed/overhead.
- What is the three-way handshake? Describe it in action.
- What is a SYN packet?  A SYN/ACK packet?  An ACK packet?
330-331
- What is the term used to describe the data at each layer of the TCP model?  The UDP model?
- What are the major differences between IPv4 and IPv6?
- How many bits for addressing does IPv4 use?  IPv6?
- What is a class?  What is a subnet?
332-333
- What is baseband?  What is broadband? (also p334)
- What is an analog transmission signal?
- Why are digital signals more reliable over long distances?
- What is the local loop (or last mile) and what's different about it?
- What is asynchronous communication?  Synchronous communication?
334-335
- Do modems use synchronous or asynchronous communication?
- Is CATV a baseband or broadband medium?
- What is the physical arrangement of computers and devices on a network called?
336-337 (for more topology info, see p338)
- What is a ring topology? What's the difference between physical ring and logical ring?
- What is a bus topology?  What are the two main types and how do they differ?
- What are two vulnerabilities of a simple bus topology?
- What's a star topology?
- What is a main vulnerability of a star topology?
- Most LANs nowadays are star topology.  Why?
- What's a mesh topology?  Full mesh?  Partial mesh?
- What defines a LAN as opposed to a WAN? (also 338)
338-339
- What's the difference between a LAN and an internetwork?
- What is attenuation?  What causes it?
- What is Ethernet?  What IEEE standard applies?
- What topologies does Ethernet traditionally use?
- What are Ethernet's characteristics?
340-341
- What is a BNC?  What types of Ethernet use it?
- What is 10Base2?
- What is 10Base5 and what distinguishes it from 10Base2?
- What is 10BaseT and what distinguishes it from the others?
- What topology does 10BaseT usually use?
- What is 100Base-TX also called? (also 342)
- What is 1000Base-T also called?
342-343
- What is token-passing and what LAN technology uses it?
- What is the central hub in a Token Ring LAN called?
- What is the transmit speed for Token Ring?
- What does the active monitor do?
- What is beaconing?
344-345
- What is FDDI?  How fast is it?  What IEEE standard applies?
- How does it provide fault tolerance?
- What is a ring wrap?
- How long can a FDDI network be?
346-347
- How is the bandwidth of a cable different from its data rate?
- What are some advantages and disadvantages of coaxial cable?
- What is the difference between STP and UTP?
- What is crosstalk?
- How does the twist of the wire improve its usability?
- What are some disadvantages of UTP?
348-350
- What are some advantages and disadvantages of fiber-optic cabling?
- What is cable noise?
- What is attenuation?  How do you minimize it?
- What is crosstalk?  How do you minimize it?
350-351
- What is plenum space?  Why is it relevant to cabling?
- What is a pressurized conduit?
- What is unicast?
- What is multicast?  How is it done across routers?
- What is broadcast?
352-353
- What is MTU?
- What is a token?
- Can token-passing networks have collisions?  Why or why not?
- What is CSMA/CD?
- What is contention?
- What is collision?  What does a system do when it detects one?
- What is the back-off algorithm?
- What is CSMA/CA and how does it differ from CSMA/CD?
354-355
- What is a collision domain?
- What is latency and how does it happen?
- A subnet will be on the same broadcast and collision domain if it is not separated by what?
- What is polling?
356-357
- What is ARP and how does it work?
- What is a MAC address?  How many bits?  What's the layout?
- What is ARP table poisoning, and what kind of attack is it?
- What is RARP and how does it work?
- What is a DHCP server and how does it work?
- What is BOOTP and how does it work?
- What's the difference between ARP and RARP?
358-359
- What is ICMP and what does it do?
- What is a repeater?
- What is a hub, and what other name is it known by?
- What is a bridge and why is it used?
- What is the difference between a local bridge, a remote bridge, and a translation bridge?
360-361
- What are the functions of a bridge?
- What's the difference between a bridge and a router?
- What's transparent bridging?
- What's source routing? (also 386)
- What is an internetwork?
- What is STA and what is it used for?
- What's a security risk associated with source routing?
362-363
- A router can connect similar networks.  Can it connect dissimilar ones (e.g., Ethernet LAN and Token Ring LAN)?
- What does a router use to filter traffic?
- What actually happens inside the router when it receives a packet?
- What is TTL and what's it used for?
- What happens if the destination network requires a smaller MTU than the packet being routed?
- What are the differences between routers and bridges?
- What is routing?
- Where does the sending computer send the packet if the destination computer is on a remote network?
364-365
- How were routing tables originally built, and why aren't they done that way anymore?
- What are ASs and how do they come into play in routing?
- What's a border router?
- A switch functions as a combination what and what?
366-367
- What's a VLAN?
- What's a gateway?
- What's IPX?
- What's a NAS?
- What standard do all mail servers understand?
370-371
- What's a PBX?
372-373
- What's a firewall?
- What is a DMZ and how is it used?
- What's packet filtering?
- Are packet filtering firewalls considered 'stateful?' Why/why not?
374-375
- What are pros and cons of packet filtering?
- What is stateful inspection, and what are some characteristics of a stateful inspection firewall?
- What's a firewall state table?
- What's a proxy?
376-377
- How can a proxy fight attempts by an attacker to probe a network?
- What are some pros and cons of proxy firewalls?
- What is a dual-homed firewall?
- What two functions should be shut down on a dual-homed firewall for security reasons?
- What's an application-level proxy?
378-379
- What's a circuit-level proxy?
- What is SOCKS?
380-381
- What is dynamic packet filtering?
- What is a kernel proxy?  What makes it different from the others?
- What are the characteristics of a 'bastion host' firewall architecture?
- How can a system be configured as a bastion host?
382-383
- Should all systems in DMZs be running as bastion hosts?  Why/why not?
- What is a screened host?
- What is a screened subnet?  Why is it superior to a screened host or standalone firewall?
384-385
- What should the default action of any firewall be?
386-387
- What is masquerading or spoofing?
- What's a zombie?
- What should a firewall do when it encounters a fragmented packet? What's the catch?
- What are some disadvantages to firewalls?
- Some firewalls perform authentication.  How does this help?
- What's a honeypot?
388-389
- What's the difference between enticement and entrapment?
- Why is suppressing broadcast and collision domain formation important?
- What's a NOS?
- What's a redirector?
390-391
- What is DNS?
- Who maintains the authoritative root databases?
- Who allocates IP addresses?
- Where do DNS servers live?
- Why are internal DNS servers usually split up?  What is this called?
- The DNS server that holds the file for a zone is called the  for that zone?
- What is a resource record?
- If a router does not know the necessary path to the destination of a packet, what does it do?
- If a DNS server does not know the necessary necessary resource record to resolve a hostname, what does it do?
392-393
- What are the seven most common top-level domains?
- What seven top-level domains did the International Ad Hoc Committee create?
- What is a directory service, and what model and protocol is it built on?
394-395
- What is a metadirectory and what is it used for?
- What is a schema?
- What's Microsoft's directory service?
- What's Novell's directory service?
- What is an intranet?
- What are the non-routing class A, B and C networks?
- What is an extranet?
396-397
- What is EDI?
- What is NAT?  How does it help provide security?
- How does NAT distinguish between IPs of all the computers connected downstream of it, if all are accessing the WWW at the same time?
- What is a MAN?
398-399
- What is SONET?
- What is self-healing?
- What is multiplexing?
400-401
- What's the bandwidth of a T1 line? How many telephone calls can it carry?
- How many T-1 lines can a T3 carry?
- What is ATM?  Describe its relationship with SONET in terms of a highway analogy.
- What is OC?  What's the throughput of an OC-1 line?
402-403
- What is SDH?  Is it compatible with SONET?  
- What are the bandwidth of E1 and E3 lines?
- How could an SDH network communicate with a SONET network?
- What is a dedicated link and what other names is it known by?
- What is TDM and who uses it?
- How many bits in a time slot?  How many time slots in a frame?
- How many T1 frames go in a second?
- What's it called when a T1 line is split between more than one customer?
- What's the main driver in the cost of a dedicated line?
- What is S/WAN?
404-405
- What is a CSU/DSU?
- What is DTE?  Give an example of a DTE object. (also 408-9)
- What is DCE?  Give an example of a DCE object. (also 408-9)
- What's the difference between circuit switching and packet switching? (also 406-7)
- What scheme does ISDN use?
406-407
- What is frame relay?
- What is CIR?
408-409
- What is the frame relay cloud?
- What's the difference between PVC and SVC?
- What is X.25?
- What is an HDLC frame and how large is it?
- Why was X.25 good for its time but obsolete today?
410-411
- What is ATM?
- Are ATM and frame relay connectionless switching technologies?
- What's the difference between packet switching and cell switching?
- How large is an ATM cell?
- Is ATM a good choice for voice and video transmission?  Why or why not?
- What is SMDS? 
- What is SDLC? What's its primary use?
- What is HDLC? What is it an extension of?
- What is HSSI? What's its max bandwidth?
412-413
- What is a multiservice access technology?
- What is the Signaling System 7 protocol?
- How does VoIP get around some of the barriers present in today's PSTN?
- What's the term used to describe packet loss or latency in a VoIP call?
- What's an H.323 gateway?
414-415
- (good WAN comparison table on 415)
416-417
- Remote access can be a huge security problem.  Why allow it at all?
- What is a NAS?
- What is a RAS?
- How can a call-back mechanism be defeated?
- Is it a good idea to have modem-pool access filtered through a firewall?
- What is wardialing?
- What's the local loop?
- What is ISDN?  What are the three implementations of it in use today?
418-419
- What is DSL?  What's its bandwidth? What are the two biggest disadvantages?
- What's the difference between symmetric and asymmetric DSL, and which one is better suited for home use?
- What's the biggest drawback of cable modems?
- What's the security risk behind DSL and cable connections being 'always-on?'
420-421
- What's a VPN?  
- What's a tunnel?
- Why would you use an encapsulated but unencrypted tunnel?
422-423
- What is PPP? What protocol did it replace? How does it use PoPs?
- What are PAP, CHAP, and EAP?
- Is PPP alone sufficient to bring serial data to, say, a corporate network?  Why/why not?
- What is PPTP?  How does it use MPPE?
- What is a GRE header, and how does it work in PPTP?
424-425
- What is L2F, and why did Cisco then create L2TP?
- What is PAP? 
426-427
- What is PAP's major security drawback?
- What is CHAP?  How does it overcome PAP's major security drawback?
- Is CHAP vulnerable to man-in-the-middle attacks?  Why or why not?
- What is EAP, and how is it different from CHAP and PAP?
428-429
- Modem pools should be set up to answer after how many rings?  Why?
- What is a possible effect of two machines on a network having the same MAC address?
- What is a single point of failure and what's the best defense against it?
430-431
- What is RAID?
- Name and describe the following RAID levels: 0-6, 10.
- Why is RAID 10 not called RAID 7?
- What are the characteristics of these RAID classifications:
  . Failure Resistant Disk Systems
  . Failure Tolerant Disk Systems
  . Disaster Tolerant Disk Systems
- What is HSM?
- What is SAN?
- What is clustering, and what is its advantage over just having secondary servers? (also 432)
432-433
- What's the relationship between frequency, bandwidth, and distance?
- What is CSMA/CA?
- What is spread spectrum?
434-435
- What is FHSS?  What two problems with wireless communication does it address?
- What is DSSS? 
- What is a chip?  A chipping code?
- What are some advantages DSSS has over FHSS?
436-438
- What is the IEEE wireless LAN standard?
- What is the frequency range and bandwidth of these wireless standards:
  . 802.11b
  . 802.11a (and how is it different from .11b?)
  . 802.11g
  . 802.11h (and where is it used?)
- What are the characteristics of these standards?
  . 802.11e 
  . 802.11f 
  . 802.11i
  . 802.11j
  . 802.16
  . 802.15
439
- What is WAP and why is it necessary?
440-441
- What is WTLS?  What are the three classes of WTLS?
- What is the 'gap in the WAP?'
- What is an infrastructure WLAN and how does it differ from an ad-hoc WLAN?
442-443
- What's a channel?
- What's a SSID?  When is it required?  Why should it not be relied on as a security mechanism?
- What two ways can a wireless device authenticate to an access point, and what is the difference between them?
- What is WEP and how secure is it?
- What is wardriving?
- What is NetStumbler?
- What are NetSnort and WEPCrack?
- What are some security best practices to implement a wireless LAN?

===== Chapter 8 - Cryptography
p457
- What is cryptography?
- Since most crypto algorithms can be broken, what's the point?
p458-459
- What is a substitution cipher? Monoalphabetic substitution?  Polyalphabetic substitution?
p460-461
- What is DES and how does Lucifer play a role in it?
- What is the Clipper Chip and what were some problems with it? (also p470-472)
P462-463
- What is the unencrypted message called?  The encrypted message?
- What is a cryptosystem?
- How are algorithms used in cryptography?
- What is a keyspace, and what are its characteristics?
- Should the algorithm for a cryptosystem be kept secret?  Why or why not?
p464-465
- What factors comprise the strength of the encryption method?
- What is 'work factor'?
- What four of the Big Five does cryptography contribute to?
- What different emphasis wrt crypto might military, financial, legal institutions have?
p466-467
- What is key clustering?
- What is a transposition cipher?
- What is frequency analysis and how is it used?
p468-469
- What is a running key cipher?  
- What is a concealment cipher?
- What is steganography?
p470-471
- What is Kerckoff's Principle?
- What is EES?
- What is key escrow?
p472-473
- By what name is key escrow also known when describing a software cryptosystem?
p474-475
- What is symmetric cryptography?  What are symmetric keys also called?
- How many different keys would be needed for N people to communicate without more than two people sharing any one key?
- What is an 'out-of-band' method?
- Which of the Big Five does symmetric cryptography contribute to?
- What are the main strengths/weaknesses of symmetric cryptography?
p476-477
- Are the following stream or block ciphers: DES, 3DES, Blowfish, IDEA, RC4, RC5, RC6, AES?
- What is asymmetric cryptography?  By what other name is it known?
- What are asymmetric keys also called?
- What is an important distinction between the public and private keys?
- Which of the Big Five does symmetric cryptography contribute to?
- What is a secure message format?
- How is authentication accomplished with asymmetric crypto?
p478-479
- What is an open message format?
- What is a 'secure and signed message format?'
- What are some strengths and weaknesses to asymmetric crypto?
- Between the list of algorithms on this page, and the list on p476, which are symmetric and which are asymmetric?
p480-481
- What's the difference between a block cipher and a stream cipher?
- What's the distinction between confusion and diffusion?
- What is an S-box?
p482-483
- What is a keystream generator?
- What are the characteristics of a good stream cipher algorithm?
- Are stream ciphers better suited for HW or SW implementations?  Why?
- What is DEA?  What's its effective key size, and why is it different than its full key size?
484-485
- What is 3DES?
- What is AES?  What algorithm does it use?
- What block size does DES use?
- How many rounds of transposition/substitution does DES use?
- What are the four DES operation modes and how are they different?
486-487
- Why 3DES and not 2DES?
- How many computation rounds does 3DES use?
- How much stronger than DES is 3DES?
- How much slower?
- Define and explain the three different operation modes of 3DES.
488-489
- What is IDEA?  What's its block size?  Key size?  Number of rounds?
- What is Blowfish?  What's its block size?  Key size?  Number of rounds?
- What is RC5?  What's its block size?  Key size?  Number of rounds?
- What is RSA?  What Big 5 functions can it perform?
- What provides the strength of the RSA algorithm?
- What's a one-way function?  How does it apply to the RSA algorithm?
490-491
- What is El Gamal?  What is it based on?
- What are ECCs?  What are they based on?  What advantages does it have over RSA?
492-493
- What is public key crypto? Describe a message exchange using it.
494-495
- What is a session key?  Describe a message exchange using it.
- What is a disadvantage of reusing the same secret key over and over?
- What is the Diffie-Hellman algorithm used for?
496-497
- What is PKI? What's the difference between it and public key crypto?
- What is a digital certificate?
- What is a certificate authority?  Name two well-known CAs.
- What is a registration authority? (also p498)
498-499
- What is a CRL?
- Why might a certificate be revoked?
- What is the current standard for creating a digital certificate?
- Describe an example of all components of a PKI working together.
- What's another name for a directory of public keys?
500-501
- What security services does PKI provide?
- How can crypto detect if a message has been modified in an unauthorized way?
- Why aren't parity bits a sufficient means of ensuring message integrity?
- What's a one-way hash?  How does it differ from an encryption algorithm's 'one-way function?'
- What's a message digest?
502-503
- What is a weakness of using a simple message digest to verify integrity?
- What is a MAC? How does it work?  What is its weakness?
504-505
- What kind of authentication does MAC provide (two different terms)?
- How is system authentication different than user authentication?
- What is a digital signature?
- Go through an example of sending a digitally-signed message.
506-507
- Encrypting a message provides which security service(s)?
- Hashing a message provides which security service(s)?
- Digitally signing a message provides which security service(s)?
- Encrypting and digitally signing a message provides which security service(s)?
- What are DSS, DSA, ECDSA, and SHA?
- How large a message digest does SHA produce?
- What does it mean if a hashing algorithm is 'collision free?'
- Re-create Table 8-2.
- What is a 'birthday attack?'
- What are features of a good hash function?
508-509
- What are characteristics of MD4, MD5, MD2, HAVAL?
- Describe the digital signing process using SHA and DSS.
510-511
- For a hash algorithm with n-bit output, using a brute-force attack, how many messages could it take to determine the input from a given output?
- For a hash algorithm with n-bit output, using a brute-force attack, how many messages could it take to determine two messages with the same output?
- What is a one-time pad?  What is its major advantage?  Its major flaw?
512-513
- What does it mean that cryptography is based on a 'trust model?'
- What is a KDC?
- What is KEA?
- Describe a good way to manage backups of crypto keys.
514-515
- What are the rules of key management?
- For link encryption and end-to-end encryption, answer the following:
  > What is it?
  > What part of the packet is encrypted?
  > What are its advantages?
  > What are its disadvantages?
  > Which part (higher or lower) of the OSI model is it performed in?
- Where is end-to-end encryption usually initiated?
- What is traffic-flow security?
- What is link encryption? What part of the packets are encrypted?
- What is end-to-end encryption? What part of the packets are encrypted?
- What are the advantages/disadvantages of each?
516-517
- What are the tradeoffs of hardware v. software encryption?
- If a company's security needs are as given below, what cryptosystem / scheme is the best choice:
  > only encrypting the occasional email message?
  > encrypting all network traffic, both internal and external?
  > single sign-on?
- What is MIME?
518-519
- What is S/MIME?  What security services does it provide?
- What is PEM?  What security services does it provide?  Why hasn't it really caught on?
- What is MSP?  What security services does it provide?  Who uses it?
- What is PGP?  What security services does it provide? 
- What is a PGP 'web of trust?'  
520-521
- What is a PGP key ring?
- What disadvantages does PGP have when compared to a CA model?
- Is PGP a complete cryptosystem?  Why or why not?
- What is the main security issue with browser plug-ins?
522-523
- What is a stateless protocol? Is HTTP a stateless protocol? Is S-HTTP?
- How is S-HTTP different from HTTP?
- What security services does S-HTTP provide?
- What is the difference between S-HTTP and HTTPS?
- What is SSL and how is it different from S-HTTP?  What security services does it provide?  Where on the protocol stack does it reside?
- Describe an SSL session.
- Does SSL provide security for the data once it is received?
- How does a user verify an SSL connection?
524-525
- What is SET?  Why hasn't it caught on?
- Describe an SET transaction.
- What are cookies?  Why are they used?
526-527
- What potentially damaging information can be in cookies?
- What is SSH? 
- Describe an SSH session? 
- What is IPSec? What two basic security protocols does it use?
- What is AH?
- What is ESP?
- What two modes can IPSec work in?
528-529
- Describe an IPSec session.
- What is an SA, and how does it work?
- Are SAs directional or omnidirectional?
- What is the SPI?
- How does AH use MAC?
- What security services do AH and ESP provide?  Why would you choose one over the other?
- Which would you choose to set up a VPN?
- Which would you choose in a NAT environment?
530-531
- What is an ICV? What part of the packet is used to calculate the ICV in AH?  ESP?
- Does IPSec dictate how hashing and encryption algorithms are to be used?
- What is IKE?
- What is ISAKMP?  OAKLEY?
- What is a passive attack?  An active attack?
- What is a cyphertext-only attack?
- What is a known-plaintext attack?
532-533
- What is a chosen-plaintext attack?
- What is a chosen-ciphertext attack?
- What is 'adaptive' when applied to all the above attacks?
- Why are public crypto algorithms generally better than private/proprietary ones?
- Why would you want to keep your crypto algorithm secret?
- What is the man-in-the-middle attack?  Describe it in action.
- What protocol is vulnerable to MITM?
- How can MITM be prevented?
534-535
- What is a dictionary attack?
- What is a replay attack?
- What is a side-channel attack?

Next Time, Get Tear Gas-Proof Makeup, Fool

AQ #3 busted in Pakistan:

Pakistan has shared with the United States initial results of its interrogation of reputed al-Qaida No. 3 Abu Farraj al-Libbi, who stayed silent for hours after his capture this week before confessing his identity, an intelligence official said Thursday.

Hey, I thought KSM was the #3 guy. Oh, wait, now I see - it's like the AP rankings: if you lose (get busted), somebody else takes your spot. Anyway, what's with his face?

Did his mascara run or something? And look at his eyes - those are some seriously dead eyes.

H/T INDCBill (as if he needs it). Furthermore, Arthur Cherenkoff has a photo essay demonstrating just how bad pissing off the U.S. can be for your health.

The Latest Thing In Lead-Lined Jockey Shorts

Ever dreaded going to a meeting where you expect to be chewed out? You'll want a pair of these (the link is subscriber-only; the text below is from the print edition):

Marines concerned about injuries to sensitive areas of the body [hee!] may someday have the option of special ballistic protection - as long as they don't mind lugging around more pounds.

The Marine Corps has developed a small number of armored shorts as a potential option to protect Marines in certain jobs from lower torso injuries due to small-arms fire and shrapnel from improvised explosives.

. . .

A batch of the $1,500 armor shorts has been field-tested by turret gunners in Iraq. So far, the feedback is that they may be too heavy to be practical.

The oversized Kevlar shorts are worn over the cammies, covering a Marine from the waist to four to six inches above the knees. Because of their 11.5-pound weight, they include a harness that goes over the shoulders.

Sounds like my hockey pants!

...And The Volvo You Drove In On!

Ace notes yet another example of the exempt media doing sloppy fact checking when the alleged fact is to their ideological liking, and compares it to the longstanding dilemma of whether to argue with a professor whose politics run counter to yours, or just spew back what s/he wants to hear:

If you had liberal professors in college, you know this for a fact: Yes, you could argue with them when it comes to final exam time. And, if you present a perfectly-argued essay with very few gaps in logic and sufficiently backed up by evidence, they might even give you a good grade.

But they are going to be reading your essay much, much more carefully, and little slips here and there are going to cost you.

On the other hand... if you just parrot back to the professor the crap she was spouting all semester, you can turn in a rather shoddy effort and get an A.

If you're principled, you may have chosen the former course. If you were me, on the other hand, you almost always chose the latter.

In the Fall term of my senior year in college, I took a freshman sociology course. The professor was an unreconstructed Marxist (two of our alleged textbooks were Feminazi Chowderheads Bitching About Capitalism, Vol DCLVI and It's Not About East vs. West, You Capitalist Pig!, and it was clear ten seconds into his first lecture that the cause of every problem the Third World ever had, has, or will ever have is the fault of Ronald Reagan.

Now I had a dilemma. In that lecture hall with me were about two hundred first-term freshmen, their minds empty. Did I dare let this Commie bastard get away with pumping their heads full of shit, thus guaranteeing another generation of clueless activists, or did I just say "Reagan's fault. Okey dokey." and regurgitate all his shit right back at him?

Let's just say I took the Ace approach. I had two other classes that term (one of which was a compiler construction class), I was working 35-40 hours a week, and I just wasn't going to have the time to deconstruct the little Lenin like he deserved.

I had a small slice of revenge at evaluation time, though. I wrote him an evaluation that went something like this:

I will get a 4.0 in this class, but it isn't because I learned anything. I recognized immediately that I could get an easy 4.0 just by parroting back what you wanted to hear, and, frankly, engaging you in classroom debate wouldn't have been worth my time. The hardest part of this whole class was figuring out how to make "It's all Reagan's fault!" fill up two bluebook pages per essay question without making it look like I was repeating myself. You'll never know which of your 'prize pupils' was merely your echo board (hint: there was more than one of us); alternatively, if you find out who I am and give me anything less than a 4.0 as political punishment, I'll be in your department chair's office filing a protest before the envelope with my grade report hits the floor, because I did 4.0 work all term and I can prove it.

White Trash Academy

'Dja ever wonder where our rural bretheren learned (sorry, 'learnt') their meth-cooking skills? Well, if they're anywhere near Elma, Washington, they could just go to high school and take Recreational Pharmacology 101:

ELMA - A local woman went 'through the roof' when a deputy took his anti-drug message to high school.

She says he showed students how to make methamphetamines, and she has the video to prove it.

Grays Harbor County sheriff's deputy shows class, "And the reaction will start occurring down there and start bubbling up."

It is part chemistry class and part drug enforcement as a member of the Grays Harbor drug task force talks to Elma High School students about making Methamphetamine.

Deputy shows class: "Then you'll have a little bit down at the bottom, the white stuff, and that's your meth."

And this is not a new thing, either:

We [KOMO-TV] showed the same video to Grays Harbor County Undersheriff Rick Scott. He says it's the same demonstration the drug task force has been putting on for several years, but they'll review it.

The Sheriff's department is playing the MacGyver card (being vague on details or leaving a step out, so they don't show millions of viewers exactly how to, say, build a thermonuclear device out of three paperclips and a box of Cream-O-Wheat):

The sheriff's office says they don't give specifics about the recipe . . .

but that has its own problems:

. . . and they emphasize how explosive the process is.

Given that we haven't seen a series of meth lab explosions in Grays Harbor County, it doesn't look like they've created an annual pool of Darwin Award contestants, but still. It's only a matter of time before somebody accidentally figures out how to build a meth bomb.

H/T chain: PunditGuy via Malkin via hubs and spokes via Garfield Ridge.

It's White Trash Wednesday! Take the whole tour:

A 29th Birthday Party. 29 Hex, Yes, But 29 Nonetheless

flower_goddess's birthday party turned out to be a relatively nominal event, especially when compared to the standard of our other Big Four parties (my birthday, Halloween, and Christmas). I mean, nobody was caught by his wife making out with another neighbor's wife, nobody set their hair on fire, we didn't have a front-row seat for a dozen-car police response to a 911 call across the street, and none of Fort Wayne's finest showed up in our driveway. That's not to say that interesting things didn't happen, but they'll be below the fold.

For example, my son demonstrated an aptitude for home invasion by inadvertently (so he says) breaking down our front door while fleeing, well, never mind what he was fleeing. Personally, I think he was in cahoots with the pets, as all three immediately made a break for The World the moment he came through the door, splitting off in different directions at the end of our sidewalk. Fortunately, we had sprung for upgrades when we had the pets chipped. No pansy-ass commercial-grade ID microchips for us - we went mil-spec and got the 24 model with instant satellite tracking. One call to CTU and our pets were quickly corralled and returned. Now, the agents who returned the pets were attacked and killed once they left our house, but they didn't die on our property so my lawyer tells me it isn't our problem. A couple of drywall screws into the frame, and the door was good as new (or at least as good as Lowest Bidder Builders made it in the first place).

The nephews and niece-in-law were down for the occasion, so in their honor I cracked open the mini-keg of Molson's that somebody got me for my birthday last fall. I am pleased to report that it survived eight months in the fridge without any damage to the flavor. There may be some long-term health impacts from the rust, but who knows? I can say that we'll have at least five test subjects for the study if Johns Hopkins or any other research group is interested.

Of course, as described in Saturday's entry, the Tequila Train was making frequent stops at Dangerous Logic Galactic HQ. I told flower_goddess that she was under no obligation to attempt to drink all the gift tequila herself, but the next time she takes my advice will be the first time she takes my advice, so she learned her lesson the next day. Eventually, the group drink of choice became Jagerbombs, with more Jager than Bomb, if you know what I mean. Actually, you probably aren't sure what I mean, since that expression parses exactly opposite to reality. Perhaps I should rephrase it: "...the group drink became 'Jagerbombs, hold the Red Bull.'"

To top it all off, I spent a good chunk of Sunday morning bent over the toilet.

Fixing a broken lever arm in the tank.

All is not lost, though. flower_goddess's actual birthday is Wednesday, and by rule that means it's her birthday all week long. Tomorrow night we're headed to Draughts to see Truck Stop Cutie, a good local cover band (who should be better now that they've added a keyboard player), and since Wednesday is dollar beer night, and TSC has an... interesting... fan base (including at least one woman who is stalking both Mountaineer and, um, somebody else), it should be a good time. I expect to be sober again in time for BB and Mountaineer's wedding next weekend.*

* We had the rehersal for the wedding two weekends ago, outdoors at the Lakeside Park Rose Garden. Since it was 35 degrees with snow flurries and light sleet, BB laid it out more or less like this (events are described in real time): "Groomsmen over here, bridesmaids over here, meet up meet up meet up, picture picture picture, me down the aisle, Mountaineer in from this side, picture picture picture, blah blah blah husband and wife, turn, picture picture picture, back down the aisle, picture picture picture, done. Now let's get the hell out of here because my feet are freezing!"

It's not our fault she chose to wear capri pants and flip-flops.

More Blegging

Astute readers will recognize Thursday's post as a thinly disguised bleg for links; after all, when I first signed on to the Ecosystem as an Insignificant Microbe, I would have loved for a Adorable Little Rodent to link to me out of the blue.

Actually, I'm exercising a little literary license here; when I signed up for the Ecosystem, I was pleasantly surprised to find two Ecosystem sites already linking to me (spankysplace and One Little Victory (now part of Liberty and Pie)).

Without further ado, I introduce the Dangerous Logic Class of May 2005:

• Mia's Torture Chamber, if for no other reason than this post, which made me think of one of my favorite Chick McGee lines: "If you [are a man who] want[s] to have sex with two women, rent both of them."
• Homo Insapiens, even though he(?) doesn't have a blogroll at all. I was hooked by the reference to Britain regarding the Chunnel as "a 32 mile long, rigid, concrete, steel-reinforced barge pole that ensures that the UK will never drift closer to Europe."
• Dan of Life In The Great Midwest interrupts a bike ride to make fun of a Commie in the People's Republic of Madison.
• Red Hot Cuppa Politics has a punch line to the Rise Of Generation Y.