December 13, 2003

Most People In Retail Are Morons

OK, not really, but sometimes it seems like that. Take today: my son and I went to the local [names changed, a bit, to protect the stupid] 'GameInsane' store (you know, the one that's connected to 'CapitalOfTheMovieBiz Video') to trade in his old DreamCast. I had a hard time letting it go, since I was halfway through an undefeated season for Michigan on NCAA 2K1. But I digress. Anyway, we get there at about 10:30, and the place is already pretty busy. We get the thing traded in and get ready to leave, then my son decides he wants to get something at the store right then. I'm not in a hurry, so I say OK. We have to get back to the end of the line, of course, but there's only four people in front of us so I figure 5-10 minutes, tops.

Fifteen minutes later, there are still three people in front of us. I wasn't paying attention before (as in 'why the hell did it take 15 minutes to take care of one person?'), but I start listening now. These Einsteins can't decide which creaky old system to buy - an original PlayStation or an original GameBoy. This is revealed through a detailed conversation with the lone counterdroid, interrupted by occasional phone calls which the counterdroid answers and fully processes - despite the fact that there are now two more people behind us!

Five minutes after that, the guy behind me gives up and leaves. I was trying to decide whether to leave or just throw $20 at Mrs. Mobile Home and say "Jesus H. Break-Dancing Christ, woman, here! Buy them both! But for the love of God, let's move this freaking line along!" Right about then, another salesdroid comes in. Now I'm thinking "Great. He'll fire up the other cash register and deal with the people who aren't actually brain-damaged and know what they want to buy." No such luck - salesdroid #2 heads right into the back of the store to do, hell, I don't know what, but it sure ain't helping us any.

Now, I've never worked in retail, but there are some things that I believe are self-evident:

  • First, if I'm the only guy in the store, and I'm faced with line of six customers, I don't take any phone calls longer than "Our store hours are 10 AM to 9 PM." Anything longer than that gets a "please hold." Potential customers are on the phone. Actual customers are in line right now, waiting patiently to give you money!
  • Second, If I show up at work and my buddy has a line of six customers waiting, I should conclude that nothing I might do in the back room is of higher priority than, you know, actually servicing customers!
  • OK, let's assume that the second register didn't actually work. How about getting Mr. Late Arrival to help your cheap-ass indecisive lady while you take our money?
Neither of them figured that one out. So we left.

Posted by Chris at December 13, 2003 11:11 PM

Category: Local Stuff
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